This is the Timberwolves year. I know, I know, last year was supposed to be their year. But this time they mean it for real...I think. And of course when I say this is their year, I don't mean contending for a championship. Rather, just making the playoffs. The past few seasons have been rough, and now I feel they've earned the right to be the sacrificial lambs to the Lakers or the Thunder in the first round. How does that saying go? Give a room full of monkeys a bunch of typewriters and enough time, and they'll eventually produce Shakespeare. Welp, it appears King Kahn has tinkered and toyed with his roster enough that the T-wolves actually look decent on paper. Also, in his fiddling I think he's managed to make the Timberwolves even whiter than before. If he hadn't offered Nic Batum that disgustingly large contract I might have even thrown up the race card.
Pictured: Timberwolves war room on draft night
Minnesota did a fine job of taking out the trash. The most notable departure was that of Michael Beasley. Under all those tattoos lies a pretty decent player. 19.5 pts and 7.2 rbs for his career. But the past few years he's gotten the reputation as a chucker. And after drafting Derrick Williams it was only a matter of time before Beas would find himself on his third team in his young professional career. The other piece of human garbage that was flung to the curb was Wesley Johnson. I honestly have no clue why he's employed as a professional athlete in the National Basketball Association. Wesley Johnson can't shoot, pass, dribble, rebound, defend, catch, hustle, or set screens. The only thing he excels at is looking like one of those coffee aliens from Men in Black.
Ready or not Phoenix. Here we come!!!
Even if Brandon Roy misses the entire season with injury, the T-wolves still benefit from addition by subtraction. Speaking of which, Mr. Roy has unretired and is now playing for the team that originally drafted him. Let’s see if I've got this...David Kahn drafted Brandon Roy and then traded him when he was healthy. Now he's signed him back but only this time Roy's knees are a loose shoe string away from shattering into a thousand pieces. Roy will also join Andrei Kirilenko in making his return following a brief hiatus. AK-47 spent the last season in mother Russia where he presumably spent hours in the bathroom grooming his lesbian hairdo.
Gotta hand it to Russia. Not too many countries would be cool with men and women playing on the same team.
If the Timberwolves are to make the playoffs, they'll need two things. One being strong play from Nikola Pekovic and also, for Ricky Rubio to pick up where he left off last season. For those keeping score, you will notice that I didn't mention Kevin Love. That was not a mistake. For you see...Kevin Wesley Love is overrated. I know that last statement probably sent many readers into a tizzy, but it’s true. Yes, yes, I get it. He scores a bunch of points and grabs a bunch of rebounds. I'm not saying Kevin Love sucks, I'm just saying he has the same impact on a team as say...Monta Ellis. He's David Lee with sprinkles on top. Last season Love was 23rd among power forwards in field goal percentage (.448). That’s a hair above Al Harrington. Also, with 2.3 turnovers per contest, Love is near the bottom of all power forwards narrowly edging out Demarcus Cousins. But the biggest issue I have with Love is the fact that he has never even sniffed the playoffs. Lets follow this timeline shall we...
June 2008-Kevin Love is drafted and the Timberwolves continue to suck
December 2011-Ricky Rubio joins the team and the Timberwolves look like a playoff contender
March 2012-Ricky Rubio gets hurt
March 2012-Kevin Love and the Timberwolves go right back to being terrible
I don't expect him to single handedly win a championship. However plenty of stars have managed to drag their teams into the post season despite a serious lack of talent on the roster. Just ask Lebron, Kobe, CP3, Wade, Dirk, Dwight, Bosh, Nash, Aldridge, and Garnett. And like I said, Love hasn’t even SNIFFED the postseason. If the T-wolves make the playoffs it won't because Kevin Love racked up 50 double doubles, it'll be because Ricky Rubio orchestrated the offense and dodged the injury bug.
Only nine rebounds?...NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!