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 Tyson Chandler points right to where the Heat kicked him 



13 straight playoff losses will do that to you



No Erik, no one wants to take a whiff



Watch out ladies, they're still single....some things never change




Jeremy Lin takes in an intense episode of Naruto




Uh Oh, Amare only gets that look when an unsuspecting fire extinguisher is nearby




New York Bricks:  Heading into this series, some thought there actually would be a chance at an upset, the Knicks would sneak up on the Heat and possibly take the series in 6.

Granted, all the people who felt that way lived in the Manhattan area, the Knicks got crushed in this series one game after another.  An Iman Shumpert injury coupled with Amare doing his best "Dirk vs Exercise Bike" imitation and....well you get the idea.

Speaking of Amare, here's actual footage of what went down the other day:





I just hope Amare has learned his lesson.  Fortunately for him, the Knicks have now placed the following instructions on all fire extinguishers within a 1000 mile radius:




As for Game 3, the Knicks were in good shape through halftime, hanging onto a 4 point lead despite no Amare or Shumpert.  LeCrab even found himself in foul trouble (for like the first time ever) as he was mostly MIA in the third quarter (as oppose to the fourth, which is the norm).

But then Monsieur Wade happened, the Heat regained the lead and never looked back.

Wade played the entire third quarter and went off for 12 points.

That wasn't the scary part.  A well rested Lebron came back for the fourth period and ripped the Knicks a new one with 17 points in the period alone as the lead ballooned to as much as 20.

"He was in foul trouble," Bosh said. "He was struggling a little bit and he had pretty much the whole third quarter to think about what was going on. It wasn't as much time for him to think as this past summer, but I think that was good for him. I think it really built a desire in him a little bit and then he made sure we got off to a great start in the fourth quarter which was very important for us."

As for Bosh, he was a question mark for this game due to the birth of his son, but ended up starting anyway.

While the Heat got stellar performances from their big two, the Knicks got another night at the office from their remaining big two.  Melo Yellow and Captain Worst Shot Selection in the NBA JR Smith combined for a whopping 12-41 from the field.  Looks like they joined forces to pay tribute to John Starks.

"When you can't score the basketball, that makes the game extremely hard, no matter how much defense we go down there and play," Anthony said.

And I agree, but then again I'm not getting paid millions of dollars to do it, unlike some people.

The Bricks have now set an all time NBA record with 13 straight playoff losses (their last win coming against the Craptors).  I'd like to let you know that no one in NBA history has come back from an 0-3 deficit.

Look for the Heat to keep it close during Game 4, and then come out of nowhere to break the game open in the fourth.   Kinda like Bosh in the gifs below:









_allas Mavericks:  In honor of the Heat, it looks like the Mavs are trying to do their best Miami 2007 impression.  Which is unfortunate, since Dallas had a pretty brutal showing in the 2007 playoffs anyway.

Speaking of impressions, Durant decided to give a Dirk 2011 performance, as he went 11-15 from the field, and the Thunder just annihilated the Mavs in what Jason Terry referred to as a game which was to be treated like a Game 7.

Yikes.

Dallas got outscored every single quarter in a crucial game, as Dirk sputtered with a 6-15 shooting night. The rest of his supporting cast wasn't so great either:

Shawn Marion: 1-8
Jason Kidd: 4-12
Jason "Turtlehead" Terry: 3-10
Vince Quitter:  2-8


That ladies and gentlemen, is how you manage to shoot 34% from the field as a team, get down by as many as 26 points (encouraging some fans to leave at the start of the fourth quarter) and never have a single lead.

Looking at those shooting performances, it's a miracle they were only down by as many as 26.

Never underestimate the heart of a champion.  Especially if that champion has their hearts ripped out in the past offseason by letting current DPOY Chandler walk, and putting all their hopes on one whiny bitch of a point guard in Deron Williams.

Keep up the good work Cubes!

Have I mentioned that no one has come back from an 0-3 deficit?  The last time a team was at least able to force a Game 7 in that scenario were the Portland Trailblazers.  Their opponent?  The Dallas Mavericks.

When looking at the AP quotes from both the Knicks/Mavs, I found these gems:

Tyson Chandler said. "Obviously no one wants to be in a hole 0-3, you know in the playoffs especially against a tough team like (Miami), but that's the way it is and we've got to keep fighting."

"Our mistakes we weren't able to overcome. Their high-level play, we weren't able to overcome either," Carlisle said. "It's really tough to go down 0-3. We're going to keep fighting."

So that settles it folks.  Anytime I'm about to get crushed in a game of anything, whether it's chess, battleship, or tennis,  I'm going to look my opponent straight in the eye and say "I'm going to keep fighting"

And then proceed to weep the rest of my summer away.

Speaking of weeping the summer away, we have to honor the woeful Bobscraps, who magnificently finished the season with the lowest winning percentage in NBA history.

To commemorate the event I thought we should take a look at our Paul Silas yearbook (who resigned as head coach and is now listening to Dashboard Confessional albums with Lamar Odom):





Weekend's Upcoming Games:   


FRIDAY:


Hawks vs Celtics:  Oh boy, after the hilarious come from behind victory the Celtics had despite no Allen or Rondo, you know this one ought to be a doozy.  The Hawks are going to be without Josh Smith and Al Hortford.  Let's just pencil this one as 2-1 Celtics.


Bulls vs 1776ers:  Still reeling from the Derrick Rose fiasco, we now have a series on our hands.  I still think the Bulls can take this series, but do they?


Lakers vs Nuggets:  You know, it's funny how the games where Kobe takes less than 15 shots, the Lakers usually win in commanding fashion.  Even the games where he shoots 75% from the floor (once a year) and takes 25+ shots, the Lakers kinda just "hang on" for the win.  I think Denver takes Game 3, and JaVale Magoo goes from a team that was on pace to be one of the worst of all time to getting his first (and maybe last?) playoff win of the year.





SATURDAY:


Pacers vs Magic:  I can promise you that you can find much better things to do on a Saturday night then watch this game.  Even bouncing a ball within the walls of your bedroom would lead to more excitement.

But at least we'll get to watch Hedo Turkeyglue in action.  Hell, even Stan Van Gundy hates him:


 




Grizzlies vs Clippers:  I don't know if anything can beat the uh...excitement of a 27 point come from behind victory.

But really folks, nothing beats the excitement this kid had for Z-Bo.....or maybe he's just as excited as I am that the Grizz were just 6 points from free hamburgers for the entire arena:







Thunder vs Mavs: 

Get ready to see a lot of this from Mark Cuban:






Spurs vs Jazz:  Well isn't this matchup exciting?  Maybe Utah can keep it interesting and only try to lose by less than 15 points.

As for the Spurs, every year we count them out, yet they refuse to go away and die.  As a matter of fact, team officials have already released the official 2025 Spurs Playoff Banner:







SUNDAY:


Bulls vs 1776ers:  If you're on the West Coast, I can't see you getting up at 10 AM for this game.  if you're on the East Coast and were partying hard the night before, keep sleeping.


Heat vs Knicks:  14 straight playoff losses baby!


Hawks vs Celtics:  This just about sums it up for the Hawks.




Lakers vs Nuggets:  By the time this game is over, I'm hoping we'll have more to add to the JaVale Magoo scrapbook!



Chris's Lacktation Report:

Heat-The Nearly Extinguished Brickerbockers: Norris Cole notched a foul in 222 seconds for a +1.

Thunder-Mavs: Nick Collison canceled out three boards in 13:18 with a brick, a turnover, and three fouls for a 4:3 Voskuhl.  Royal Ivey and Lazar Hayward had matching suck differentials of +1 in 201 seconds, Ivey via brick from the Majestic Theatre and Hayward via turnover.




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18 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Current nickname going around Memphis right now for the Grizzlies kid: lil' country

Anonymous Naz said...
I really thought the Mavericks were going to take game 3, especially since in OKC they not only kept it so close they almost won, but Dirk was playing like the basketball Jesus again. Such a shame they lost.


Anyway, I love Chris Bosh. I think you should have used a picture of his son being a tiny baby ostrich instead of a raptor though.

Blogger Raza said...
haha lil country, I love that!

Naz, must feel nice knowing your team has such a nice path to the Finals. Reminds me of my Spurs 2007 run.

Anonymous Naz said...
Well I hope the Heat win, but I thought they had it wrapped up last year too, and then Dirk happened. I'm sure they'll take the East this year, especially with Rose's knee exploding, but I don't know what will happen in the Finals.


At the very least I'll always have 2006. That year was Shaqtacular. The Sonics existed back then too.


I miss early 2000 basketball.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
The heat have struggled with the Celtics all season. I wouldn't look past them.

Anonymous JJ said...
Raz, thanks for the post! What a great way to wrap up the Friday. I love the Spurs 2025 picture. The scary part is that I can actually see that happening...

I'm still pretty surprised about Cuban breaking up team from the last year. After spending so much money to finally get 1, I thought he'd at least try for 1 more championship. I don't think teams usually go into economy mode after a championship. Otherwise, id'd have made this year's playoffs a lot more interesting. Real shame.

Blogger Dick Sullivan said...
The 2007 Heat, with the same roster from the year before, were the fourth seed and got swept in round one by a Bulls team whose best player was Luol Deng. The 2012 Mavericks avoided "Worst Performance by a Returning Champ" from game 1 of this series, when they started on the road and lost by one.

As for the whiny bitch tag, I can't argue, but I'd be happy to see D-Bitch in a Mavs jersey next season.

Anonymous Naz said...
Yeah JJ, I would love to see Chandler still on the Mavericks. I'm not sure if other Heat fans feel this way, but it isn't redeeming yourself against the Mavs from last year's finals if that team isn't 100% of what they were last time. It's like getting revenge on a guy that mugged you but he turns out to be in a wheelchair when you find him. How is that satisfying?


If Chandler was still in Dallas I've got to believe that New York doesn't even make it to the playoffs this year too.

Anonymous David said...
What a chokejob by the Bulls in the 4th!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Spurs went to see The Avengers Thursday night.

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/1236/167560lalt.jpg

Blogger LotharBot said...
JaVale McGee now has more playoff wins than the entire Knicks franchise in the last decade.

(credit to voodoo from Denver Nuggets Talk for the observation.)

Anonymous spinetingler said...
OK, now at least there's a Heat player that I can like a little bit. That first Bosh "rise up into the shot" video is great.

Anonymous Naz said...
Yes, Javale McGee now has more playoff wins than the entire Knicks franchise in the last decade. Good on you LotharBot for keeping track. Love Javale McGee, hate the Knicks. This year's playoofs has been fantastic so far.

Blogger kazam92 said...
Sadly, the Bosh photobombing has occured only during the local Sun Sports broadcasts. Assuming the Heat win Sunday, Sun Sports no longer has rights to any heat games. Although of Chris was to do that in front of Craig Sager, I think the internet would break.

Anonymous Tom said...
Office Spac'''''''e.

Blogger TeamD said...
WOW

Laughed my ass off, great post Raza, your best till this day.

Thanks for keeping the blog alive.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The lack of posts at basketbawful is really making me sad.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
yeah the lack of posts really suck,it used to be my day-to-day favourite basketball blog or site...now i just spend my time in bleacher report...

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