kg and baby
Caption this.

The New Jersey Nyets: The following video clip shows absolutely everything you need to know about last night's blowout loss to the Bulls:





Avery Johnson, quote machine: "WHEN THE BULLS ARE ENERGIZED AND THEY GET DERRICK ROSE BACK, THEY CAN SCORE 110 ON A LOT OF TEAMS."

Especially teams named "The New Jersey Nyets."

The Washington Wizards Generals: The following excerpts from the AP recap tells you absolutely everything you need to know about last night's blowout loss to the Sixers:

The Sixers must wish they could play the Wizards (2-15) every night. They beat them by 31 points and 13 points on consecutive nights earlier this month, and this game was never competitive.

...

The Wizards, who lost Sunday at Boston, played with little passion in the first half. They walked down the court for offensive possessions, never hustled after loose balls and couldn't convert the easiest of buckets, missing eight of nine shots in the paint in the first quarter. Washington coach Flip Saunders took a knee in front of the scorer's table, bowed his head and rubbed his temples after a string of sloppy plays.

...

The Sixers had 62 points in the first half, topping their previous season high for a half (54) set against, yup, Washington on Jan. 13.
The Orlando Magic: The following comments from yesterday's BAD post tell you absolutely everything you need to know about last night's blowout loss to the Celtics:

"The Magic, 16 from 65 from the field. Whoa."
-Bing

"Hahahahahahahahaha the Magic. Sorry. Not only with a franchise-low 56 points and 16 made field goals. they also played with only four players on the court for one posession, before richardson recognized the mess and knocked the ball out of bounds witout checking in. the bawful level of the season has reached a point beyond human understanding."
-Cetti
Also:

"The Magic shot 24.6 percent from the field in Monday's 87-56 loss, their lowest shooting percentage in franchise history."
-ESPN Stats and Information
Dwight Howard, quote machine: "There's no way KG should be beating me up and down the floor. There was a couple plays where he beat me up and down the floor. There's no way. He's 40 and I'm 25. I just can't allow that to happen. I have to step up and be the leader for this team."

The New Orleans Hornets: The following video clip shows everything you need to know about last night's last-second loss to the Spurs...and the rest of the Hornets' season-to-date:




Monty Williams, quote machine: "I told Emeka, 'It's coming to you.' He made a tough shot. You'd take that defense every time. It's just that [Duncan has] been there, done that. That's why he is one of the best power forwards of all time and one of the best players in the history of the game. Those situations don't bother him."

Tim Duncan, quote machine: "I just wanted to win on the road, honestly. I don't remember the road ever being this tough."

The Detroit Pistons: The following plus-minus scores for Detroit's starting lineup tell you absolutely everything you need to know about last night's blowout loss to the Thunder:

Ben Wallas: -10
Rodney Stuckey: -15
Tayshaun Prince: -22
Greg Monroe: -23
Brandon Knight: -23
The Phoenix Suns: Free Steve Nash. Please.

Jared Dudley: Regarding Shawn Marion's season-high 29 points scored in the abscence of Dirk Nowitzki: "Shawn was Dirk tonight."

The Golden State Warriors: All I can say is this: They choked away a 20-point lead and got outscored 39-22 in the fourth quarter to lose by a point to the Grizzlies. And it happened at home.

Said Warriors coach Mark Jackson: "At the start of that fourth quarter, we could have knocked them out. They would have been ready to surrender. We didn't when we had a chance to. They got underneath our skin, and we didn't respond."

Chris' Lacktion Report:

Generals-Sixers: Craig Brackins rang the Liberty Bell on a 1.5 trillion bonus (92 seconds)!

Magic-Celtics: Orlando's Ryan Anderson assisted twice in 23:16, but bricked EIGHT times, lost the rock once, and fouled thricely for a 4:0 Voskuhl!!

And can someone tell me how Dwight Howard - he of the mediocre free throw technique - managed a Dantley (10 charity stripe points to 4 field goals made)!?

Nyets-Bulls: DeShawn Stevenson (whose lacktion was also noticed by a Bulls fan - http://www.bulls101.com/2012/01/23/rip-city-chicago-bulls-110-new-jersey-nets-95/ ) took a rejection and bricked twice (once from the Sears Tower) in 10:03 to give the Nyets a +3.

Spurs-Hornets: Kawhi Leonard heaved a brick from the French Quarter in 7:11 to earn the Spurs a +1!

Pistons-Thunder: Nick Collison was perfect from the field (on one try) in 9:11, only to negate that and a board with two fouls and two turnovers for a 4:3 Voskuhl.

Rockets-Wolves: Houston's Jordan Hill wiped out a rebound in 6:27 with two fouls for a 2:1 Voskuhl.

Suns-Mavs: Robin Lopez had one field goal in 10:37, but egged out three fouls and a turnover for a 4:2 Voskuhl.

Purple Paupers-Blazers: Kurt Thomas's singular make from the field in 17:41 was countered by four fouls and one lost rock for a 5:2 Voskuhl, while Chris Johnson can now invest in a software company with Paul Allen after a 1.35 trillion (81 seconds)!

Grizzlies-Warriors: The victorious baby cubs certainly weren't deprived of lacktion tonight with three +2 suck differentials, starting with Josh Selby, who bricked once and took a rejection for in 6:37. Quincy Pondexter had a turnover instead of rejection in 4:01, while Sam Young matched Selby's statline in 110 seconds!

East Oakland's Andris Biedrins managed two boards as starting big man, but earned three fouls in 16:06 for a 3:2 Voskuhl.

Labels:

21 Comments:
Anonymous JJ said...
Caption:

Fans, please don't feed the NBA players. No matter how much they beg.

Anonymous Stockton said...
"I can swallow a burger THIS big"

Blogger Dan B. said...
Caption: Kevin Garnett watches the meteor that wiped out his fellow dinosaurs. Not sure how he survived...

Other news: Adrian Wojnarowski is reporting Flip Saunders has been fired. Pretty much the definition of a mercy firing.

Anonymous Team_BC said...
Since when did the Magic become the Charlotte/General's fountain of youth? Seriously, the score should have been reversed.

Blogger chris said...
There's no way KG should be beating me up and down the floor.

Oh, Pumaman, you.

Anonymous Stockton said...
No mention to the O'Neal-Howard "fight"???

Anonymous Batmanu said...
Wow, even John Hollinger takes shots at Ostertag.

Excerpt from 2011-12 All-Disappointment Team (Insider):

"The hope in New York was that Douglas could be a serviceable point guard until Baron Davis was healthy. Those hopes were crushed like Greg Ostertag's sofa cushions. Douglas was such a disaster at the point that it effectively ended any and all "is he a 1 or a 2?" debates: He's a 2, simply by virtue of his so abjectly not being a 1."

Source: http://insider.espn.go.com/nba/story/_/page/PERDiem-120124/2011-12-all-disappointment-team

Blogger gregsgourmet said...
I just noticed that Larry Hughes was back in the league! BAWFUL!

Anonymous Czernobog said...
"It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... Pumaman!"

Blogger Wormboy said...
Caption: "They call me big for a reason, Kevin dahling."

Anonymous Grizzly said...
On Wednesday the Generals bawfulness vs Bobcraps bawfulness, scalpers night off, but dead coach bounce should be enough for the Generals to win, either way I would not watch the game if they paid me.

Anonymous Flud said...
Big Gayby

Anonymous Czernobog said...
It never fails. Every time I click on one of those links I'm amazed that ESPN expects me to pay to read Hollinger's nonsense. Fuck you, ESPN. Fuck you right in the face.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Caption: "I got love for all my homies. And by love, I mean my penis"

Anonymous Silvio said...
caption: Baby Love

Grizzlies at Warriors:
91-90 after Warriors led by +20 in Q3, and by +17 early in Q4
MEM / GSW
17-23 / 5-8 Free throws
52 / 34 points in the paint
69 / 39 total from close easy-to-hit range

As a contrast:
Warriors scored 9 threes = 27 points and, 24 points from jumpers (if I'm not wrong, 90 - 39 - 27 = 24). 51 pts from long range.
Grizzlies only two 3-pointers and 16 from jumpers, 22 points from tough-to-hit positions.


Warriors pace this season:
92.1, #13
Season 2010-11; 94,8 , #5
Season 2009-10: 100.4, #1

With every new coach, they're slower and slower, to no avail. Mark Jackson is trying to make it historic slow.
It's like when Mike D'Antoni get Shaq onto roster built for running. But Mike was fucked up by incompetent Steve Kerr's management. Here coach is doing it to himself, it's not management's fault (though many other things are). Jackson is trying to slow down team built for running ... and results are predictable. Jacking up long jumpers and even if hitting for 3 quarters like yesterday, losing as you can't hit all the time from outside.

Anonymous Silvio said...
Sixers rotation versus Generals.
There is nothing bawful about it, and there is absolutely no reason to post this ... but I'm just bored waiting for today's games to start. So I wrote this while waiting.

C Tony Battie 17:17 --- Lavoy Allen 17:26 --- Brand 13:17
PF Elton Brand 15:53 --- Thad Young 25:51 --- Iggy 04:44 --- Craig Brackins 01:32
SF Andre Iguodala 27:25 --- Evan Turner 20:35
SG Jodie Meeks 26:19 --- Lou Williams 14:30 --- Evan Turner 07:11
PG Jrue Holiday 36:45 --- Louie 11:15

Prehistoric Battie started at C (17:17 minutes), forward Lavoy Allen (6-9) backed him up for 17:26 minutes (total 18 minutes in first 18 Sixers games including 14 times DNP). So Brand played center for 13:17 minutes (last 05:38 in Q2 and a bit longer stint in middle of Q4).
PF minutes: Brand 15:53, Thad Young 25:51, Craig Brackins 01:32 of garbage time = total 43:16 for those three.
So Iggy saw almost 5 minutes at PF last 01:50 of 1st half, interesting lineup of Jrue/Louie/Evan/Dre/Elton. And 39.22 ---> 42.16 in Q4 while Thad Young rested (Battie sat out Q4, Brand was at C for most of the quarter, Allen was in for first 02:15 and last 02:08 of final quarter).
At SF it leaves for Iggy 27:26, Turner I assume rest of 20:34. If so, then at SG starter Meeks 26:19, Turner 07:12 and Lou Williams rest of 14:29, at PG Holiday 36:45, Lou 11:15.


Big men Hawes and Vucevic are injured, coach doesn't trust Brackins obviously. While for Nocioni I don't know if he's injured or in a doghouse. Other 9 players were in rotation last night.
Nocioni can play SF and PF, they can start Brand at 5 (Battie backup) and play him there most of the game, start Young at 4, with Nocioni to backup 3 and 4. Thus most of rotation at 1 to 3 positions would be intact. I don't now why it was no option, but for sure yesterday's starting 5 were more big and more banging option - though it produced players shifting for position up later in the game: Elton to C (that was inevitable), Young exclusively at PF and Iggy at SF (and even 5 minutes at PF) with Turner mostly at SF.

Game was versus Generals and Elton Brand was questionable with illness (stomach issues). If it was serious game, we could conclude this:
- coach Doug Collins trusts Lavoy Allen
- not so Craig Brackins
- coach is reluctant to start/play-big-minutes Brand at center
- not reluctant to go with Iggy at PF and Turner at SF
- coach insists on Young being in 2nd unit, carrying it with Louie
- Nocioni is probably in coach's doghouse

I used data from popcornmachine.net

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Caption(Davis to Garnett): "You love basketball, I love sodomy"

Blogger José Viruete said...
In that pic, Garnett looks like the Tarman of Return of the Living Dead

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Free Steve Nash.

Anonymous greggrant said...
Heat-Cavs bawful: Everyone's praising Chris Bosh for his performance on the offensive end and seems to completely forget how he proved to be a revolving door on defense. Sooo many times people blew by him or he just walked away from contact it's alarming. While all other players from the Heat were taking charges against this not-too-skilled Cavs offense, he even moved away. The Cavs (and that Samuels guy, especially) wouldn't be able to score this much if not for Bosh. With all the Heat's stagnant offense, it would have been an easy game for them if not for the Boshtrich

Anonymous Stockton said...
Teams over .50

West-10
East-6

The power has shifted!!!!

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