Odds that Mark Jackson and Monta Ellis are talking about a woman's chest: 15/1
Odds that Mark Jackson is saying something about "hand down, man down": off the board
No time to waste. I'm already getting this online after the early games have started. Oops. Onto the pictures and tomfoolery!
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Mike D'Antoni, keepin' the pimp hand strong
I don't even play for the Bobcraps and I feel like facepalming too
"Maybe I can run away to Mexico... anything to get away from this team..."
Scalpers' night off?
Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Bulls at Celtics, ESPN, 8:00pm:
The latest word is that Derrick Rose DOES plan on playing. If it weren't for Rajon Rondo, he could probably still wear his boot and still play competitively against this team.
Heat at Nuggets, ESPN, 10:30pm:
Every single Heat game, I get to look at the Heat's injury report and see Eddy Curry listed as "day-to-day." How many consecutive days can you NOT play and still be considered day-to-day? Can the Heat manage to have him D2D all season? Make it happen.
All The Other Friday Games:
Wizards Generals at 76ers, 7:00pm:
The Sixers may have ended their winning streak, but they get back to back games against the Generals. Who did they bribe in the NBA front office to get THAT kind of scheduling love?
Pacers at Craptors, 7:00pm:
Good news everyone! Andrea Bargnani might have finally started to develop into a talented NBA player. Bad news everyone! He's injured. Get ready for rollerskating craptosaur action in Monday's WOTN.
Pistons at Bobcraps, 7:00pm:
It's very possible that this will be the least-watchable game so far this season. Following Ben Swanson's Twitter feed
may be the only thing worthwhile about it.
Timberwolves at Hornets, 8:00pm: Ricky Rubio is set to get his first NBA start
. Awwwwwww yeaaaaaa.
Kings at Rockets, 8:00pm:
Maybe Excremento should fire their coach after every game so they can use the dead coach bounce to win all their games?
Bucks at Mavericks, 8:30pm:
At this point I would like to remind everyone that the Bucks are roadkill -- they have yet to win on the road in six tries this year. And that sounds just about right, doesn't it?
Trail Blazers at Spurs, 8:30pm:
The Blazers have had success against the Spurs the past year or two, and the Spurs are also a little lacking in defense at the moment. Keep an eye on this one.
Nyets at Suns, 9:00pm:
...Do NOT keep an eye on this one. Not even Steve Nash can save it.
Cavaliers at Lakers, 10:30pm: Here's a nice one
for you to ponder: The Cavaliers "are 5-5 this year, but opponents have a .391 winning percentage. Expect regression to the mean soon..."
Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Lakers at Clippers, NBA TV, 10:30pm:
This is pretty much the polar opposite of scalpers' night off.
All The Other Saturday Games:
Timberwolves at Hawks, 7:00pm:
Anyone who tries to predict how this game plays out is just wasting his time. Wait, you could say that about ANY Hawks game. Carry on.
Celtics at Pacers, 7:00pm:
Both teams will be tired, so shooting might be a little sketchy. The Pacers are a good rebounding team. The Celtics, on the other hand, couldn't snag the ball if they were playing against 8 year old kids.
We really need soccer-style regulation, right? Kick the Generals down into the D-League and call up someone like the Fort Wayne Mad Ants. Is it too late to add that to the collective bargaining agreement?
Warriors at Bobcraps, 7:00pm:
DeSagana Diop just missed another shot. Drink!
Craptors at Bulls, 8:00pm:
Trail Blazers at Rockets, 8:00pm:
Looking at their schedule, the Blazers haven't had much success on the second night of a back-to-back this season. This might be one to watch.
Knicks at Thunder, 8:00pm:
Did you realize Melo is actually ahead of KD right now in points per game? Does KD even care? (And I mean that in a good way)
Hornets at Grizzlies, 8:00pm:
Yep, nothing like a New Orleans/Memphis matchup to bring in those fans... *crickets*
Kings at Mavericks, 9:00pm:
The Purple Paupers are 30th in the league. Of course they are. They have DeMarcus Cousins on their team.
Nyets at Jazz, 9:00pm:
It's a miracle Deron Williams is averaging 8 assists per game. With his supporting cast, I'd be fully behind him if he decided to never, ever pass the ball.
Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Suns at Spurs, 9:00pm:
Damn it, what did I do with that anti-aging formula? We'll need it to make this game legitimately great like we think of Suns/Spurs games being.
All The Other Sunday Games:
Warriors at Pistons, 6:00pm:
Sigh. Don't even think about this game. Go do something more constructive with your time, like watch this movie:
You know you're in for a treat when all the character names are just the actors' real first names
By the way, there is a RiffTrax
version of that movie featuring some of the guys from MST3K that is well worth your money in my opinion.
Jazz at Nuggets, 8:00pm:
A nice Northwest matchup. No jokes here -- this game might be good.
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Mark Jackson