Also, to continue my Christmas tradition for this post, knock an hour and a half out of your schedule once you're done here and go watch Mystery Science Theater 3000's Santa Claus episode. Try not to sing along to Santa Klaws' epic The Warrior of Christmas song. I dare you.
"It's a thoughtful, well-shot documentary about the Crimean war."
"It's a stupid Mexican kids movie!!"
Worst of the Lockout in Pictures:
Christmas Day Games:
Celtics at Knicks, TNT, 12:00pm: Well, Paul Pierce is listed as "doubtful" for this game. By comparison, the rest of the team (except for Rajon Rondo) is just listed as "old."
Heat at Mavericks, ABC, 2:30pm: Bawful and I are both severely dismayed to see Shane Battier sign with the Heat. My memory is a little fuzzy, but we may have just exchanged text messages saying "NOOOOOO" for twenty minutes when we learned the news. However, he is a game-time decision for this Finals rematch. A certainty, however? Eddy Curry is ruled out. I'm pretty sure he was ruled out of this game five or six years in advance even though he didn't play for the Heat at the time. (Well, wait a second. That was poor wording. He doesn't even play for the Heat now. He's just on their roster filling up space. Lots and lots of it.)
Bulls at Lakers, ABC, 5:00pm: Everyone's all up in arms about Kobe's wrist injury. But come on, what about the real story? MATT BARNES is pissed, you guys!
Magic at Thunder, ESPN, 8:00pm: Stan Van Gundy is already having to lash out in press conferences in preseason games at reporters questioning if Dwight Howard is quitting on his team since they did not follow through with his trade request. How long until his head explodes Scanners style? Meanwhile, the Thunder may be the team to beat in the Western Conference. No joke here. Just a statement.
Clippers at Warriors, 10:30pm: LOB CITY! Chauncey Billups' gonna be throwin' up the rock and DeAndre Jordan's gonna be throwin' it down! (What? Who did you think I was talking about?)