Top ten things overheard in the stands of the Georgetown / Chinese brawl:

Number 10: “They do realize that ‘Break a Leg’ is a figure of speech, right?”

Number 9: “All these Chinese, and none of them is using Kung Fu?”

Number 8: “Oh my God, there are, like, a Billion of them!”

Number 7: “I can’t wait to see what fortune cookies say after this.”

Number 6: “That reminds me – I want to rent Braveheart when we get home.”

Number 5: “This is the goodwill tour? Who organized it? Chow Yun-Fat and Bill Laimbeer?”

Number 4: “Get my broker on the phone. Chinese cotton is about to get a whole lot pricier!”

Number 3: “I haven’t seen this much violence since the Kuomintang clashed with the CPC.”

Number 2: “After you brawl Chinese, you just want to brawl again an hour later.”

And the Number One thing overheard in the stands of the Georgetown / Chinese Brawl:

“大黑箍攻擊美國的超級巨星英雄無懼!”

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24 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
someone knows their Taiwan/China history.

Anonymous Ted M said...
somebody translate that, please. unless google translate is accurate, in which case, what, I don't even

"Big black hoop to attack US superstar hero without fear!"

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You missed: "Give it 24 hours and a bunch of American bloggers will be making racist jokes about China and the saying they're not being racist because they like the Chinese."

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Ted M - I wrote something different, but yes, that's how google translates it.

Anon - China's got a rich tradition of cultural touchstones ripe for fun on a top ten list. That's about it.

"Seinfeld, four!"

Blogger DieblerFever said...
That was a little bit frightning

Anonymous Anonymous said...
What's offensive is when someone makes a bunch of lame recycled jokes in a half assed attempt to be funny. I, just glad Matt didn't write this, I'd be a lot more disappointed.

Chinese and Kung Fu
1 billion of them
Fortune cookies
Chinese food youre hungry an hour later?

You'd be booed off stage with that material no matter what your audience was

Anonymous JJ said...
Personally, I always find Chinese food to be deceptively heavy. It makes me feel almost uncomfortably full for many hours..

Regarding the incident, I don't know if you can call this a brawl. When they're outnumbered like that, it's really an one-sided beat down.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Anon - Might I suggest a generous portion of Egg Foo Young to ease your heavy heart? Or cream of Sum Yung Guy?

I tried to think of a Great Wall comment that would REALLY shake people from their seats, but sadly, I had nothing.

Blogger Barry said...
I thought it was funny. You should really turn off the anonymous commenting, its just distracting.

Blogger Barry said...
Also, I was looking at the NBA frontpage and in a flash I caught a picture of a red-haired guy with the caption "Hall of Fame" under it and for a moment there I thought it was Brian Scalabrine? Changed my world and perceptions for a moment there.

Thought I had died for a minute there.

Blogger Paul said...
@ET,
Don't worry about Anon harsh criticism. With absolutely no worthy basketball news you've been holding the fort rather nicely.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Thanks guys, not letting that stuff get to me. Christ, I wasn't trying to reinvent the comedy wheel on that one - it's a Letterman bit, for chrissakes!

Anyone got a suggestion for the next post? I'm open for thoughts.

ET

Blogger Rhett said...
how about the top ten things stern is doing while not working on a new cba? if i was making 20 odd million to run the nba i would, you know, try to handle the small daily issues. Like having an nba.
Seriously, though, what the hell is he doing with his time? Does he even go into the office? does he have notepads filled with doodles? does he have little action figures he plays with to pass the time? what can he be doing to pass the 8 hours a day?

Blogger lordhenry said...
Deep in a gated community, in L.A. (The Citadel of the Mamba has been locked out as well) The Dark Lord Kobe "Bean" Bryant, sits poolside with the former Ron Artest, now Metta World Peace. MWP ( I refuse to refer to him as Metta) watches as Kobe surfs the internet on his MambaTop.
"Kob, I don't know why you are reading Basketbawful, there's no season."
"Actually, I enjoyed reading Evil Ted's story about how a celtic fan was crushed by our 2010 finals victory over Boston, you know, the opposite of what we did this year."
"Why is Evil Ted writing? where is bawful at?"

"No idea. I suspect that, like me, he has trouble surviving without basketball. Possibly he's hibernating until the lockout ends, or he has just given up and killed himself."

Blogger Wormboy said...
Was it just me, or was the G-town player actually running away there in the first bit. Granted, it was 3 on 1....

Anonymous Jon fong said...
Dear Ted,

I dont think you are a racist, nor were you trying to be. But your post was definitely repeating the same jokes that many a racist have said simply due to lack of anything more original. I don't expect a discussion here and I don't think bawful needs one, this site lives off of not taking itself seriously and that's why a lot of us read it.

I could post a YouTube video of Shawn Bradley getting dunked on, and we could all laugh about it. Mostly because Shawn Bradley is big and humorous to most basketball fans, and everyone likes watching a big guy get dunked on.

I could then make comments about white guys only being good for posters, not being able to jump, and something about player x eating some crackers for dinner. It wouldn't be funny, it's be lame and tired out. Matt has written posts on how he is stereotyped as a white player on the court, and I would bet you've dealt with plenty of the same in life. It isn't terribly wounding, or the end of the world, but it is annoying, and unoriginal. Being stereotyped in any way shape or form isn't fun period, And not for a Caucasian man with a shaved head.

There really are over a billion people living in china, please don't stereotype one billion individual people with a few random comments about small penises and the great wall.
You're better than that, and usually show it on this blog.

I'm not asking for an apology and don't expect one, but if I can at least give you something to think about for a few minutes that's more than enough.

I like this blog because it's an escape from the norm, a diversion from screaming a smith and whatever else is out there. You guys strive to be something different here, we all deal with stupid comments on YouTube and forums, but seeing on a blog post at bawful was honestly disappointing.

Anonymous Grizzly63 said...
How about a discussion of the USA basketball squad. If you could pick the team for USA basketball, who would be your players.

Anonymous kono said...
I think Chinese people have been watching too many Donnie Yen movies. His earlier movies were good but seen any of his more recent works like Ip Man 2? It's complete nationalistic bull*** about chinese people beating up on evil foreigners.

Anonymous Somedude said...
The way Duke manhandled this Chinese squad makes me wonder just HOW GOOD top US D1 college schools are. I wonder how Duke would fare against a Real Madrid or CSKA Moscow... or even the Clippers! Thoughts?

Anonymous EuroGuy said...
I like Rhett's idea. More Top 10's. Also:
Top ten messages on Sterns voicemail.
Top ten rejected name changes in the NBA.
Top ten signs that this lockout will last a very long time.
Top ten alternative jobs for players during lockout.

Anonymous Grizzly63 said...
Delonte West is applying for a job at Home Depot.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This post didn't even draw a chuckle from me. You tried a little too hard.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Anonymous guy didn't chuckle. News at 10.

Blogger Wormboy said...
By no stretch is this blog post racist. ET did not, after all, invoke skin color, eyes, or any other racial trait or even stereotype. What the post was is nationalist. You know, like all of the French retreat jokes when the French declined to join in the Iraq war. [Digression]: which is idiotic on two counts: a) it forgets that the French nearly took over the world under Napoleon, while the WWII debacle was strategic, not morale-based, and b) that the Iraq war had very flimsy geopolitical underpinnings, i.e. any government which wasn't engaged in political fellatio of the US (I'm looking at you, Tony Blair) would rightly decline to join in on that one.[/Digression]

You see what I'm saying? ET didn't joke about Asians, he joked about Chinese. That COULD be racist if he had dwelt on stereotypes, but he didn't did he?

Oh, and I LOLed at "Free Tibet"

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