As many of you are aware, while the lockout continues, many of our favorite NBA players have headed to foreign lands to play hoops. Not a shock. More curious, however, has been the occasional NBA player choosing to apply for jobs normally reserved for college graduates and middle-Americans kicked in the jimmies by the burst of the housing bubble. First, there was rumor of Brandon Jennings going to work at Foot Locker, but near as I can tell he was just passing though to promote himself. More recently came the news of Delonte West applying for a job at Home Depot.

Well, we at Basketbawful sent out some investigative reporters (along with a few small-time criminals) and managed to get our hands on Delonte's actual job application. This is some amazing stuff, folks. Pulitzer-worthy. Or least worthy of a backstage pass to the ESPYs. Or maybe a just fruit roll-up with a Celtics logo on it.

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18 Comments:
Anonymous Tree said...
If this is indeed real, well ... Delonte is now my favourite player, hands down (Sorry Nash, we'll always have the 2000 Olympics). Simply amazing in every aspect.

Blogger Dan B. said...
That "When can you start?" part was basketball humor perfection.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Learned to make sweet, sweet love to ___________"

Gloria James?

Blogger Evil Ted said...
That is an unconfirmed rumor, Anon! Don't you dare proliferate such things.

ET

Anonymous Anonymous said...
ET, Tell Basketbawful that we are used to daily posts from your amazing "traveling" series. He can't just post #1 about isiah and not return with #2 the next day! The people need more!

Anonymous Glide said...
Tremendous. If this is really his, I like his sense of humor.

Bahaha @ "when can you start" answer.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Anon - I'm sure Bawful will be back in full force soon. I did ask for Thursday to post this exclusive.

Blogger Wormboy said...
@Glide: Dude, get a hold of yourself. This is a fun joke, not a real application. You really think Delonte West a) referred to Rondo's "gruesome" elbow injury, b) spelled "gruesome" correctly without spell check, c) bothered to spell check words on a form requiring written entries, and d) has such nice penmanship?

OK, I couldn't go through all of the clues. Fun stuff, though! :)

Anonymous JJ said...
Hilarious stuff! I guess this is probably a hoax, but I can totally picture Delonte wearing an orange apron. I'd keep him away from the nail guns though, you know, just in case.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Wormboy - God, I'll bet you're also suspicious of the Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch, both of which we all know are real.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
He might be a little crazy but lets not call Delonte dumb here. Like the application says, he did stay at St. Joes for 3 years. He's not Stephen Hawking, but I'm sure he isn't Richard Dumas either.

http://www.hardwoodparoxysm.com/2011/08/31/the-lost-season-richard-dumas-92-93/

Blogger zviadller said...
came close to do LOL, but i'm am man so i won't

in another note - sports fan, I would love to get your take on this "hall of fame 2.0" project

http://www.who-is-thegreatest.com

Your feedback will be much appreciated

thanks

Anonymous Omedee said...
I work at Home Depot, and I can confirm that this is not a real app. We do all job apps online now!

Funny stuff though, except for the whiny part from a butthurt Celtics fan. Though as an LA fan it made me smile.

Blogger Evil Ted said...
Omedee - What part of that was butthurt? You L.A. fans can read something into EVERYTHING.

Anonymous regret said...
@JJ: Yeah, he might try to nail Gloria James again.

Oof.

Anonymous Flud said...
This reminds me of that couple of pages in the FD almanac. There's a brilliant one about Tractor Traylor applying for permission to dump industrial waste.... just a snipet.

I got a load of NBA pins from my sister. She lives in Hong Kong. 'Chicago Balls' 'New Orelernr Hornts' and 'New Newyork Nicks' are the best bad spellings.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Looks like a joke. I mean the when can you start thing, made me doubt it.

Blogger Paul said...
E.T. you just made my day dear sir.

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