sad pacer
Don't be sad, Roy. There's always nex...oh, wait, you're on the Pacers. Nevermind.

The Atlanta Hawks: Let's see, despite being savaged by Dwight Howard for four straight games, the Dirty Birds managed to build a 3-1 series lead. With a chance to finish the Magic off in Game 5, they (and foul trouble) limited Howard to 8 points on 1-for-4 shooting and 8 rebounds in only 29 minutes.

Said Joe Johnson: "I'm looking forward to playing in the second round of the pla..."

Wait. Hold on a second.

Atlanta trailed by as many as 32 points and lost 101-76? Ooooooooo...I feel a "they are who we thought they were" coming on. Must. Resist.

But, honestly, the Hawks were bawful in so many bawful ways. They scored only 13 points (on 3-for-19 shooting) in the first quarter and finished the half down 58-35.

And, just like that, the game was over.

Atlanta's offense was, in the words of Patches O'Houlihan, like watching a bunch of retards try and hump a doorknob. The Hawks shot 36 percent from the field, shanked 12 of their 16 three-point attempts and bricked 10 free throws. The committed 13 turnovers to only 6 for Orlando, which was a franchise playoff record for the Magic.

Getting back to Atlanta's first quarter of fail, check out this snippet from the AP recap: "The Magic were leading 10-8 when Howard picked up his second personal foul of the night with 5:40 left in the first, but Orlando closed with a 16-5 run without him. Redick had the hot hand, going 5 for 5 in the period and scoring the Magic's last 11 points."

Yes, you read that correctly, Redick shot the Hawks right out of the air.

Quick impression for you: Caw! Caw! Bang! Fuck I'm dead!

(I assume everybody's seen The Crow. If not...what the hell?)

Said Atlanta coach Larry Drew: "We're in a situation where we still feel good about ourselves. We'll go back home. We still have an opportunity. Our fans are gonna be behind us, just as their fans were behind them. So we're gonna put this game behind us as fast as we can."

I have no idea how the Hawks could possibly feel good about themselves. They won Game 3 thanks to an unintentionally banked three by Jamal Crawford and Game 4 thanks to Jason Richardson's suspension. Then they didn't even bother to try in Game 5. Plus...they're the Hawks. They have a long and storied history of playoff chokes. If any team in this postseason was going to surrender a 3-1 series lead, my money would be on Atlanta. It's in their franchise DNA.

Stan Van Gundy, quote machine: On his team's shooting: "We're a good shooting team. This is more of us than what we showed in the first four games. ... This isn't an aberration. We've been doing this for four years. The first four games were the aberration."

Stat check: The Magic shot 41 percent (34-for-83) for the game.

Joe Johnson: The 119 Million Dollar Man finished with 5 points on 2-for-12 shooting. And the Hawks were outscored by 28 points when he was on the floor. Only Jamal Crawford (-30) had a worse plus-minus score.

The Indiana Pacers: It happened. It finally happened. The Bulls started doing Bulls things, and the Pacers became the Pacers again. After a reasonably competitive first half, Indy got outscored 62-43 over the final 24 minutes. As a team, they shot 39.2 percent from the field and gave up 34 points off 21 turnovers. They also gave up 17 fast break points and got their eyebrows singed off as the Bulls shot 14-for-31 from downtown.

The beating truly began thanks to an MVP-like stretch from Derrick Rose, who erupted out of the slump he was in during Games 3 and 4.

With 5:52 left in the third quarter and the Bulls leading 61-57, Rose dished to Taj Gibson for an 18-footer. On Chicago's next possession, Rose drilled a three-pointer to push the lead to 66-57. On the other end, Rose made an amazing block on Roy Hibbert (see below). With 4:31 to go in the third, Rose nailed another three. Five seconds later, he stole the ball from Darren Collison, sprinted the other way, drew a foul from Tyler Hansbrough, and converted one of two free throws. Then, with 2:47 left in the quarter, Rose lobbed in yet another three-bomb to make it 75-60.

And the rout was on.

Rose wasn't the only slump buster. As a team, the Bulls pulled out of the dreadful offensive funk they were in. Well, everybody except Carlos Boozer, that is. To wit: Boozer, who suffered a turf toe injury during the second quarter, finished with fewer points (2) than Rasual Butler (3).

Boozer aside, the Bulls literally blew the lid off the rim. Not figuratively. Literally. There was an actual explosion. With fire. And stuff.

Luol Deng scored 24 points on 7-for-14 shooting, adding 6 rebounds, 7 assists and 3 steals for good measure. With his grandfather and hot sister watching from the stands, Joakim Noah had 14 points, 8 rebounds, 4 blocks and 3 steals. Chicago's Bench Mob added 36 points and 15 rebounds. Taj Gibson in particular delivered a strong performance (10 points and 7 boards) in relief of Boozer.

And Keith Bogans -- yes, that Keith Bogans -- went 5-for-7 from downtown and finished with 15 points. For those who enjoy random stats: The Bulls are now 27-2 when Bogans scores at least 6 points.

Oh, and did I mention yet that Kyle "The Four-Inch Vertical" Korver dunked?

Yep. It was that kinda night for the Bulls. And that kinda loss for the Pacers.

I have to tip my hat and offer a firm handshake to Frank Vogel and his boys, because Indy really gave the Bulls all they could handle. But, in lieu of TNT's "gone fishin'" act, I must nonetheless present "The Lonely Man" theme:


Ah, now, if only the Pacers could have lost with a little more dignity...

Josh McRoberts, lover: Okay. I have no real proof that McBob is a lover...but I have to assume he is because he sure ain't a fighter. Case in point: Watch him try to punch at Joakim Noah and hit...nothing but air.


Said McRoberts: "I was trying to shove back to defend myself."

Uh huh. Right.

For his shadowboxing efforts, McBob was booted and Noah got free throws. That probably should have been the end of this embarrassing spectacle. But it wasn't...

Danny Granger, whine machine: After the game, Granger couldn't let the McRoberts-Noah skirmish go. Couldn't or wouldn't.

Said Granger: "[Joakim Noah] pulled a cowardly move. He cheap-shotted a couple of my teammates, and one gets thrown out ... The refs never catch what he did ... it's cowardly. And I'm going to say something about it. I wanted to say something about it all the way to the game was over. I just don't think the game should be played that way. You can play hard and fight and battle, but when you start cheap-shotting people it gets out of hand."

Uhm, okay. As Shakespeare might say, the lady doth protest too much, methinks. Or did Granger forget about this:


Or this:


Or this:


The Pacers kept this series competitive by making it extremely physical and, at times, dirty. They grabbed. They pushed. The hacked. They threw elbows and committed fouls that were borderline flagrant (or deemed flagrant by the league after the fact) in every game. The Bulls finally retaliate and...they're the dirty ones?

As Stacey King said: "Now, the rabbit's the one holding the gun, and the Pacers don't like it."

Granger continued: He's a dirty player, honestly." What's more, Granger apparently had to be restrained from going after Noah as the teams exchanged handshakes on the court after the game.

Really, Danny? Really?

Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau's response? Whatever.

Said Thibs: "It's just heat of the battle stuff."

Added Noah: "I played dirty? Ok. I'm just trying to win basketball games, man. It's the name of the game. I'm just out there trying to do what I gotta do. Like I said, I give a lot of credit to their team. The play hard as hell. They were competitive. I don't have anything bad to say about them. Everybody saw what happened out there. Now you want to call me a dirty player? I don't think I've ever been a dirty player. It is what it is. It's ok."

Look, the Pacers wanted the games to resemble urban warfare when it benefitted them, and they made a mess in their panties when, after four games, the Bulls started using their tactics against them. I'm just sayin', if you live by the sword, you don't get to complain when somebody runs you through with one.

What makes Granger's sniping worse is that, despite the showering of cheap shots and hard fouls, the Bulls took the high road all series long. They refused to call Foster dirty even after he pulled a Randy Savage on Deng's head. Thibodeau's general response to Indy's bullying tactics: "They're just playing hard. Period."

Then, in defeat, Granger takes the low road with accusations of "cowardly" and "dirty" play. Not Danny's finest hour.

Carlos Boozer: He finished off a nightmarish series by getting outscored by Rasual Butler and suffering a turf toe injury. Now even his own teammates won't high five him. Fail.

H/T to Dan B. for the link.

Roy Hibbert: The officials are bringing out the chains. Okay. The measurements are: Derrick Rose 6'3", Roy Hibbert 7'1". This is important because...


Paul George, layup master: Basketbawful reader gf provided the video for this great moment in Pacers playoff history:


Bulls fans: For whatever reason, the bloggers (other than myself) and commenters at ESPN's Daily Dime Live chat really love to give Bulls fans crap. Because, apparently, only non-Bulls fans get to talk crap.

Anyway, pictures like these aren't going to shift the paradigm:

bulls fans
This shouldn't happen. Ever.

The New Orleans Hornets: Look, we all knew the Hornets were going to have to play another perfect game to win in L.A. last night, and it didn't happen. They some things right, shooting 49 percent from the field and going 10-for-21 from three-point range.

But two things went wrong: They committed 19 turnovers and got outrebounded 42-25. That rebounding deficit included a 15-3 drubbing on the offensive glass. Between the TOs and the offensive boards, the Lakers got eight more field goal attempts and nine more foul shots.

Want more stats? I've got more stats.

From ESPN Stats and Information: "The Lakers finally took advantage of their size inside, outscoring the Hornets 42-30 in the paint. The Lake Show held a 15-3 advantage in offensive rebounds, 22-2 advantage in 2nd-chance points and 7-3 advantage in blocked shots."

Yes, it's true. The Lakers are tall.

Moreover, L.A. got balanced scoring, with six players in double figures: Kobe (18), Andy Bynum (18), The Spanish Marshmallow (16), Derek Fisher (13), The Candy Man (13) and Mr. Citizenship (11). L.A.'s bench outscored the New Orleans reserves 29-14. The Lakers weren't exactly overpowering, but they assumed control in the second quarter and semi-cruised to a 106-90 win.

And, more importantly, a 3-2 series lead.

Said Trevor Ariza: "They got 15 offensive rebounds. They were in the paint all day. They were more aggressive, and they took it to us. They played well. There's nothing that we can say."

Emeka Okafor and Carl Landry, poster boys: One of the most ridiculous and overblown subplots of this game was the status of Kobe's ankle and how he bravely refused an MRI because he doesn't want to know how badly he's hurt. The way Lakers fans were talking, Mamba needed his entire leg amputated, but he was gonna play through it through sheer force of will.

"He's Kobe Bryant! All he cares about is winning! Winning! WINNING!!!"

Reality check: No amount of will power would allow anyone to do this on a broken ankle. The human body doesn't work that way.


Said Hornets coach Monty Williams: "All this talk about his ankle. Did it look like his ankle was hurting? OK then."

Added Kobe: "I just had a lane to the basket. It looked like he was going to challenge me at the rim, and I decided to accept the challenge. ... It's a message for us that this was important. It's time to raise up and do what we've got to do. They're not saved dunks. I don't have much of those left."

I'm not saying Kobe's ankle wasn't sore. But I also think he likes to, ahem, help craft his legend.

Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report: Sorry, folks. Forgot this on the first pass.

Hawks-Magic: Jason Collins collected a board and assist in 14:04 as starting big man, only to brick once and foul twice for a 2:1 Voskuhl.

Pacers-Bulls: Jeff Foster's last playoff game of the year managed to generate two boards in 9:44, but also three fouls and two turnovers for a 5:2 Voskuhl.

Hornets-Lakers: Jason Smith soured a field goal in 8:01 with three fouls for a 3:2 Voskuhl.

Labels: , , , , , ,

52 Comments:
Blogger Nick Flynt said...
To continue his regression, Jamal Crawford will actually score negative points in Game 6.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
The post had a few notable omissions, such as the Lacktion Report, so if you read this via RSS, you might need to refresh the page.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Boozer aside, the Bulls literally blew the lid off the rim."

No. No, they didn't. Stop abusing the word "literally".

Blogger Basketbawful said...
No. No, they didn't. Stop abusing the word "literally".

I literally don't know what you're talking about.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
No. No, they didn't. Stop abusing the word "literally".

I literally updated the post. I literally hope you literally enjoy the literal change I made.

Anonymous Batmanu said...
When I saw the highlights of Kobe's posters (I passed at the beginning of the 2nd quarter), I literally started thinking about those old Hyperdunk commercials.

Someone dial 1-877-DUNKD-ON please.

llol

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This blog literally sucks balls.

Blogger Ash said...
Laker hate and Bulls homerism know no limit!

Blogger Basketbawful said...
This blog literally sucks balls.

Excuse me while I go dry my tears.

Laker hate and Bulls homerism know no limit!

See above.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dude, Noah's "hot sister"? Please tell me you were being sarcastic. Even that link you provided shows how badly she looks like her brother. All she needs is the eye-brow pencil facial hair and you'd have a replica. Unless you think Joakim Noah is hot, but that's a whole other conversation!

The Paul George video is classic bawful. Proper frog chorus stuff there!

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Why is there no video of the Kyle Korver dunk? This is a momentous occasion.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Actually, you know what, Ash? I expect lame one-liners from anonymous sources, but surely you can do better than that.

Blogger Josh said...
Just a thought here. This makes me sick to my stomach to even compare these two guys, but it is a little too interesting to notice the similarity and not mention it... I have no doubt Kobe hurt his ankle to some extent and was in a lot of pain at the end of Game 4. Watching the replay, it's clear that it was not just a slight twist. In the back of my mind, I still never really thought it was as bad as "the world" was making it out to be. It's HUGE headline-wise of course, but due to no tests whatsoever, the mention of Kobe leaving on crutches, and the general "we don't know" answers coming from the Lakers camp, it didn't look good.

But then, Game 5. Kobe wasn't moving too well off the ball to start, and the first jumper (or two, I think) that he took in the first were both arcing fadeaways with two defenders on him - one of his favorite shots that I love when he makes and hate when he misses.

Anyway, it looked like he got no lift at all... And then the next minute he rockets down the lane and tells Okafor to go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. He has another left-handed slam-with-authority later on. He's moving off the ball much better the rest of the game and his defense is decent (at worst). Clearly he needed to loosen up a little. But after that first dunk, the Lakers found new life and the game was theirs (though Ariza and Bellinelli tried their damnedest).

Here's where the comparison comes in, and I promise to be as objective as possible... Did Kobe pull a Paul Pierce? It's clear he hurt his ankle and was in a lot of pain after Game 4. But did he refuse tests (and make it a point to SAY he was refusing tests) to make the IDEA of being hurt explode? Look, like it or not, when Pierce returned to the game skipping down from the lockerroom (after "needing" a wheelchair to leave) in 2008 and hit that 3 after reentering the game, Boston had that game won hands down because of what his "miraculous return" did for the Celtics.

Did Kobe do some of the same here?

Just food for thought, I don't intend to start any Kobe/Pierce bashing (easy as that is to slip into). There's plenty of other areas for that, I just noticed the interesting similarities.

Blogger Dan said...
Is this National Be Mean to Matt Week? First there's the slap fight with Zach on DDL about that foul and now the commenters. I must have missed the memo.

I should probably get in on it, though. Kobe has more willpower than the entire Green Lantern Corps, Bawful! He could dunk without ankles! How dare you insult the greatest player of all time?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Dude, Noah's "hot sister"? Please tell me you were being sarcastic. Even that link you provided shows how badly she looks like her brother. All she needs is the eye-brow pencil facial hair and you'd have a replica. Unless you think Joakim Noah is hot, but that's a whole other conversation!

I'm not going to defend my thoughts about Yelena Noah's hotness. People can click on that link and make up their own minds.

Why is there no video of the Kyle Korver dunk? This is a momentous occasion.

I looked. Believe me. Couldn't find it.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Here's where the comparison comes in, and I promise to be as objective as possible... Did Kobe pull a Paul Pierce?

That comparison crossed my mind. Here's where I think the difference is. I don't think Pierce faked in the truest sense of the word. IMHO, he felt a twinge and heard a pop, then absolutely freaked out, likely because he immediately assumed the worst at a time when he thought his dreams were finally coming true. He lost his shit, which to some people might be at least as embarrassing as faking, but it doesn't fit with the anti-Pierce narratives that many people prefer.

What Kobe did was...what Kobe does. A Mamba in the grass. He has been playing crafty head games for years. This kind of thing happens in pickup ball all the time. A guy will supposedly be hurt and then explode (relatively speaking) to the hoop, catching everybody by surprise and dealing a crushing moral blow.

That's what Kobe did. He suckered the Hornets, and it helped the Lakers win. Kobe psyched 'em, as Bill Russell used to say. Plus, he allowed just enough ambiguity about his condition that Lakers fans can puff their chest and pretend that Kobe can pull off superhuman acts on a broken ankle. Kudos for him.

Might be a bad sign for the Lakers that he needs to do that in the first round, tho'.

Blogger Brian said...
Here's a link to where Pau or "Boom Boom POW" as I like to call him, has been hanging out during the playoffs. It's like playing with a Spanish Waldo, minus the pimp cane and drew carey glasses!

http://www.chla.org/site/c.ipINKTOAJsG/b.6588873/k.B92B/Play_Wheres_Pau_Now_to_find_where_Pau_is_hiding_in_our_New_Hospital_Building_built_just_for_kids__Win_a_special_prize_from_a_famous_Lakers_basketball_player.htm

Anonymous Jacob said...
I literally laughed my ass off reading the responses to the anonymous complaining. However, now I literally don't know how I'm going to sit down ever again...

Anonymous Patrick said...
'Bawful:

You don't think the Pacers will be better next year? I don't know: I sort of think Frank Vogel will get this team to play "smash mouth" basketball all season long, which seems pretty effective for them. With a little experience, you could see them *not* dropping games like Game 1, and then who knows?

I'm a Pistons fan, so I have nothing at stake in the Pacers' future: I just think they've got a little potential.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Yelena Noah, another benefit of the photoshop era of modeling. I bet even she wishes she looked as good as that picture.


Somehow, we both ended up right and wrong. Kobe ended up with the most FGA, albeit not 20, but did spread the ball, but it was a combined lift from Bynum and Pau that locked in the win.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Also the few shots he missed were those drifting baseline otb hero mode 17 footers, so yea.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
You don't think the Pacers will be better next year? I don't know: I sort of think Frank Vogel will get this team to play "smash mouth" basketball all season long, which seems pretty effective for them. With a little experience, you could see them *not* dropping games like Game 1, and then who knows?

No, I don't. I think next year's Pacers team will go the way of this year's Bucks team.

Yelena Noah, another benefit of the photoshop era of modeling. I bet even she wishes she looked as good as that picture.

She was shown live at the game last night and I'm willing to bet that, for all the tough talk here, if most of the people 'round these parts saw her at a bar with no context (i.e., didn't know she was related to Jo-No), they'd like what they were seeing.

Somehow, we both ended up right and wrong. Kobe ended up with the most FGA, albeit not 20, but did spread the ball, but it was a combined lift from Bynum and Pau that locked in the win.

Yep. Lakers faked us out. They've been doing that all season.

Blogger Josh said...
@Bawful

At the very least you can't say that Pierce didn't overreact and play up the injury at least a little. Hearing a pop and feeling pain, especially in the finals, will usually make someone flip their shit but it's not as if Pierce... eh. Not gonna get into the debate. We'd both be wasting our breath and not changing each other's opinions any, plus it takes time away from looking at people's sisters.

Bottom line is, both players got hurt and used mind games to some extent.

I wouldn't agree that it's sad about Kobe feeling the need to do that now (if that is indeed what he did here), I'd say it's more worrisome. After the Game 1 drubbing, I was of the opinion that the 2011 playoff Hornets = 2010 playoff OKC (not a unique thought now or probably even at the time, I'm sure) and that the combination of laziness, cockiness, and badly timed slumps would torment the Lakers in round 1. So far, it's been playing out a lot like round 1 last year. We'll have to wait to see how the rest of the playoffs go for the Lakers (if they do in fact close it out tomorrow night) because this postseason, with a few notable exceptions, has been the most surprisingly competitive in quite a long time.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
At the very least you can't say that Pierce didn't overreact and play up the injury at least a little.

Huh. So, somehow, "absolutely freaked out" and "lost his shit" wasn't strong enough?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
I wouldn't agree that it's sad about Kobe feeling the need to do that now (if that is indeed what he did here), I'd say it's more worrisome.

I didn't say "sad," I said it might be a bad sign. Which is the same as saying it's worrisome. So I think we're in agreement.

Anonymous AdriĆ  said...
Mr. Basketbawful, I'm not used to see that kind of praise for a team in this blog, referring to the Bulls. I also like this team but here I'm used to see something like searching reasons for a win of a certain team among the mistakes made by its opponent, and let alone this.

This time you went a step further and, following your explanation on the Pacers fails, you said the Bulls played well.

You know what? I like it, but since I'm not rooting for any team in particular, nor any player, just for well-played basketball, I wish I could see this "happy face" more often.

Sometimes I think we throw lots of bawful to the dog-pile, and nothing can be saved. It can be said that official websites are the ones who give praise, positive feelings and make the top ten plays and yadda yadda.
But it's not true, official sites only care about Lebron, Kobe, or whatever is gonna make them earn more money, and here we also criticize that.

I think in Basketbawful we don't care about bawful because it's delicious, we care because it's a pain in the ass that million-dollar guys can take a night off and play like shit, and we meet here to make fun of it in our "small" community.

But we can do more things, like praising the players, teams, coaches, and analysts that deserve praise, like you did with Chris Paul this week, with the Bulls right now... Just for showing what we understand for good basketball, or the best that nowadays could be played.

That's just my point of view. I also understand it could represent a greater effort. But I think it's not a bad idea at all.

Love in a bawful's heart...

PS: Bogans drainig threes, Ariza doing it also, and man... what a HUGE pair of dunks Bryant did (I agree on your lattest reflection about Mamba's ankle, but those dunks made me stand up from the couch, anyway). These playoffs have anything that could be demanded.

Blogger DDC said...
I'm with Matt. I'm sorry, but I'd be happy to give Yelena Noah the business. She could get it early.

Blogger Julian said...
Huh. So, somehow, "absolutely freaked out" and "lost his shit" wasn't strong enough?

Remember, it wasn't only PP.. the Celtics themselves drama'd it up as well.

I didn't say "sad," I said it might be a bad sign. Which is the same as saying it's worrisome. So I think we're in agreement.

Honestly, I don't think it's a bad sign at all. Laker fans and the team needed this type of rally because they've been in a slump since before the playoffs. They need to get into a Championship mindset -now-. Not the second or semi-final round.

Blogger Dooj said...
What? No mention of Artest winning the citizenship award?

Blogger Julian said...
In the spirit of true Bawfulness, I have this image to offer.

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/3897/fumble.png

WV: Philihg- The sound of a 76ers fan being choked in Miami.

Blogger Paul said...
Basketbawful said:
I'm not saying Kobe's ankle wasn't sore.

Well, I'm not literally saying Kobe was actually hurt. What I'm saying is, Man, I wish Kobe would've saved "anklegate" for the finals against the Celtics. Only then you could've finally had a dose of your own Paul-"I need a wheel chair"-Pierce medicine.

As far as Yelena Noah goes, are you sure you posted the right link?.
Because the Yelena Noah I know
doesn't look anything like the one shown on your link.

Anonymous Batmanu said...
I think that Ms. Noah is okay, but I would not be falling all over her. Unless I knew how much money she has (role reversal!).

In regards to Kobe, I dunno. I don't think he TRIED to play with our minds - I think we did it ourselves. I was reading on ESPN.com earlier regarding it and he complained he didn't think he needed it and there was no use in sitting in Los Angeles traffic for two hours to get there and back. And I agree. Most of the time, a player who rolls an ankle knows how bad it is. The fact that he kept playing in Game 4 and returned for Game 5 let me know it wasn't that bad - it just needs to be/stay warm to be effective.

@Dooj - He did. He called him Mr. Citizenship in the post.

Anonymous laddder said...
Bawful,

As Jigsaw once said: "The human body is a fascinating organism. It can withstand the most brutal injury... and yet repair itself miraculously."

LOL but seriously, Drose, Kobe etc. are recovering from these ankle sprains at a rapid rate. Sure they have the best doctors that know what to do once they twist that ankle but to play at such a high level that soon is amazing.

I mean watching them twist their ankles makes me squirm, I've had ankle sprains that were as bad and I could have sworn I saw heaven's gate when it happened. I can't even walk normally for days without looking like I dropped the soap.

So Mental? Doctors? Robots? It's insane.


Also, I hate how the bench (any team bench) does the: hold-them-back after a mean dunk. There's at least one player that spreads their army and pretends to hold teammates back. I mean do they think their in an and 1 video? It's probably just me though. LOL

/end rant

Blogger chris said...
It's sad that I saw that Bulls fans photo and thought the guy on the right was the insufferable Jay Mariotti.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I dunno why people are busting on his sister.
she's very pretty
and yea she looks kinda like Noah except you know...not as ugly lol

Anonymous kazam92 said...
You people have some massive standards of hot women behind the keyboards. C'mon son....

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Just because the Raptors have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs since entering the NBA doesn't mean that we can't enjoy their mascot's yet another, albiet belated,fail.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Bawful, as always, your analysis is spot on, but the Dodgeball! and Crow references LITERALLY made me el oh el. Pretty sure you're winning the internets right now.

Anonymous Tree said...
I am literally having a tough time understanding all the Bawful hate today ... even more than yesterday's 'mourning the end of the Spurs' post. It just literally makes no sense.

Good post - I like the inclusion of the visual evidence of Granger's flapping vag. Literally!

Anonymous Mladen said...
I agree with the people not quite understanding the animosity towards Bawful today - maybe a lot of people just happen to be having a really shitty day.

On Yellena Noah: seems to me she's definitely cute, and when they photoshop her a bit, and put her in a swimsuit, she is fucking hot. It's hilarious to me that most people here, who probably couldn't dream of scoring even with some girl that does actually look like Noah (scary thought), are acting like they have surreal standards (which they, presumably, can back up with tales of sexual encounters with super-models...).

Blogger LotharBot said...
"She look and play like Joakim Noah!" ;)

Honestly though... she looks pretty good in some pictures, and pretty bad in others. I don't know how much of that is airbrushing, how much is lighting/makeup, and how much is just that she's hot in some ways and not so hot in others.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
The usage of the sarcastic "literally" spread through the sports writing world, and we can probably blame RealGM for it's overuse in non-ironic situations, hence the blunt first Anon comment. It's now spreading into all media, and will meet the same overuse-to-unironic development that we saw in sports. (e.g. CNN News: This could literally be the most tragic tsunami of all time!!herpderp.)

So I'm deeply proud of (most of you) Basketbawful readers for bringing sexy bac- I mean, bringing the sarcastic usage back and applying it properly.

Anonymous Batmanu said...
@ Mladen - That is actually a pretty fair assessment of her, and of us (myself not included, of course).

Like I said, if I was single, I'd give her a hot dicking, but I wouldn't go out of my way to do so. She's like a 7/10 in my novel.

Blogger Dooj said...
@batmanu

Well, there goes my SAT verbal score credibility

Anonymous Bing said...
In Q1 Kobe sucked ass, missed shots, was slow to rotate on D and then sat on the bench. That's not faking to upgrade your own myth.
Is it?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Korver Dunk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAmBQjJKaZU

Blogger Wormboy said...
I'm glad somebody else mentioned the Paul Pierce thing.

Look, some of it might be gamesmanship. But there are a number of times where I've hurt myself and it hurts like hell at first, then gradually wears off so that I can play again. This is especially true with ankle rolls. Add some icy hot, taping (and maybe a short of cortisone?), and presto! Many guys will go back out, especially in the playoffs, and doubly so in the Finals. T'ain't no big deal. The reason they don't do it in the regular season is that it simply isn't worth it. Not even close.

Now, the guys who work it in the press literally ARE engaging in gamesmanship. Yes, I'm looking at you, Phil Jackson. And yes, that was the appropriate use of "literally."


http://ladiesfirst3.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/yelena_noah.jpg

Yup, total dog.

Sheesh people, get a grip (no, not literally). It's like all guys expect all women to looked like a made-up siliconed porno toy. I'm with Matt: if you ran into her in a bar, you'd look twice. JoJo's dad is a studly dude, his mom was hot, and he seems to be the sole strange looking one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrdZNNG4S8g

Anonymous Bing said...
Also, on neither of Kobe's dunks did he jump off of his sore foot by itself. I'm just sayin

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
He lost his shit, which to some people might be at least as embarrassing as faking, but it doesn't fit with the anti-Pierce narratives that many people prefer.

The other part that doesn't fit with the anti-Pierce narrative is when he got out of the wheelchair he torched the Lakers all the way to the Finals MVP trophy. Kind of takes the sting out of the wheelchair jokes coming from bitter Laker fans. Never understood the motivation for that since ultimately it just reminds you who won. Same for the Kobe 6/24 jokes.

Blogger BadDave said...
Look. I don't care which picture you use. Anyone can look good, or bad. Google any model and you'll see. I bet that if most (straight) men saw a 6-foot plus woman with curves and good proportions, they wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that. Of course, being married for 12 years, hunger is the best sauce...

At the rist of being a mysoginsitc bastard, I have a term for these folks "two face." One day you see someone, and they just don't look attractive in any way. Then on another, due to any number of things such as hairstyle, dress, smiles, etc., they suddenly grab your eye like a big butter jesus.

Blogger Dan B. said...
BadDave -- I was lucky enough to pass by the Big Butter Jesus just one or two weeks before it burned down while I had my good camera with me. I snapped some great pictures while my buddy drove:

From a distance for perspective on how huge it is

Close-up

Blogger Miles said...
bawful, I just wanted to share with someone anonymously -- as I can't with my local hornets fans and friends. I've got a ticket to game 6 tonight and am not even remotely excited. Sort of just borderline depressed. This is how convinced I am that it ends tonight. Guess I'll hop the memphis bandwagon.

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