Villaneuva goes MMA on Hollins
THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS MEANINGLESS GAMES.

The Detroit Pistons: What could possibly make Detroit's home loss to the Cadavers even worse? How about Charlie Villanueva totally losing his shit?


Afterward, in a calmer moment, Chuckie V. said: "You gotta be careful with the quiet ones, right? At the end of the day that's something that happened on the court, it should stay on the court. I overreacted. He said some things that got me upset."

Speaking of saying things, as he was escorted back to the locker room, Villanueva reportedly said: "I will kill that dude. I don't give a (expletive)."

So, uh, what was that all about?

Said Charlie: "He threw an elbow, caught me in my leg. I told him, 'Just watch that elbow.' He said something real smart so I got angry in the heat of the moment, that's about it."

And they say these games are meaningless!

The Boston Celtics: Doc Rivers opted to rest his starters, so Boston's OT road loss to the Wizards Generals ranked only around a 2.7 on the "Meh" scale. Still, this game was notable for two things. First, Delonte West got injured again, re-spraining his right ankle during the third quarter. Then there was...

Von Wafer, Worst Player of the Night: Oh, man.

During overtime, with his team clinging to a two-point lead, Wafer threw down a wide open slam dunk and then paused out of bounds to pose crazy for the crowd. It would have been an awesome moment for him...except that he had actually missed the dunk. Oh, but it gets better. Jermaine O'Neal grabbed the offensive rebound, but Wafer spun around after his posing routine and ran into O'Neal, which caused The Drain to double-dribble. So, in one possession, Wafer managed to blow a dunk, look like the world's biggest asshat, and then force his own teammate into a turnover. This could very well be the worst play of the season.


See that look on Wafer's face after realization had dawned on him? That's the look of a man who may have killed whatever was left of his NBA career with one boneheaded moment. Memo to would-be NBAers and 10-day contract wonders: Wait until your at home, alone and in front of a mirror, to celebrate yourself.

JaVale McGee: He can thank Von Wafer for saving him from WPotN dishonors based solely on this rather spectacular fail: Stuffed at the rim by a man whose vertical leap may actually be measured in negative numbers.


The Miami cHeat: Yes, the cHeat won, and yes, thanks to the Celtics' overtime loss in Washington, they locked up the second seed in the Eastern Conference. Still...almost choking away a 20-point lead while the Hawks were resting their starters? LeBron, D-Wade and the Boshtrich versus Zaza Pachulia, Josh Powell, Jamal Crawford, Jeff Teague and Damien Wilkins...and the latter group stood firm and actually outscored the Nazgul-led cHeat in the fourth quarter? Just sayin'.

Zydrunas Ilgauskas: Seemingly out of nowhere, Big Z whipped a ball off Pachulia's back. What's even crazier about this particular cheap move is that Ilgauskas and Zaza are apparently pretty good friends.


I guess Pat Riley decided his team needed a tough guy and that Big Z was gonna be that guy. Zydrunas was ejected. Oddly enough, during the Celtics-cHeat game on Sunday, LeBron was not ejected when he threw a ball at Jermaine O'Neal. I'm sure that's just a coincidence.

Zaza Pachulia, quote machine: "I didn't know if it was the ball or a punch. I don't know what he was mad about. He's one of the greatest guys. I'm definitely going to call him. Or maybe I'll just text him. He probably won't answer my call right now."

Jrue Holiday: Today's ego-ectomy special via Sturla.


The Excremento Kings: I love this quote from the Thunder-Kings game. Said Kendrick Perkins: "I see this team really starting to play together. We're starting to think defense first." This on a night in which the Kings scored 37 points in the second quarter, finished with 112, and rookie DeMarcus Cousins scored a career-high 30 points and set Sacramento records for free throws made (18) and attempted (21). If only the Paupers hadn't given up 120 points on 57 percent shooting.

DeMarcus Cousins, quote machine: "(The move) is not something I'm thinking about, I'm a Sacramento King. The only thing I'm thinking about Wednesday is finishing this season with a bang. Like I said, I'm a Sacramento King."

The New Jersey Nyets: Sure. They lost at home to the Bobcraps when D.J. Augustin nailed a jumper with 1.1 seconds left. But just think: The Nyets have doubled their win total from last season!


The Toronto Craptors: You know what? I'm done dignifying their losses with a description. Let's go straight to the video:


The New Orleans Hornets: They shot 37 percent a set a season-low for points at home (78) while letting the Jazz shoot 55 percent and go up by as many as 17 points in the fourth quarter. And no: The Hornets were not resting starters. They were, in fact, fighting to stay out of eighth place in the West. Which they failed to do.

Said Willie Green: "We have to do a little bit of soul-searching and get back to Hornets basketball," Green said. "We've just got to get back to playing better defense. That has been our pillar all year long. ... Tonight, we let those guys push us around."

The Houston Rockets: Hm. Let's check the stat sheet: Dallas committed 20 turnovers, missed 13 of their 17 from three-point attempts, lost the rebounding battle 52-49 and Jason Terry missed a free throw that could have won the game with 1.5 seconds left in regulation. Does that tell you how bad the Rocketeers had to play to lose this game? Try 36.5 percent shooting. At home.

Said Houston coach Rick Adelman: "We wanted to go out and win this game, and we didn't."

Well said.

The Gol_en State Warriors: The Nuggets had nine players score in double figures. It was the first time Denver had done that since November 24, 1987. This despite the fact that Nene and Aaron Afflalo both left the game early due to injury. Oh, and did I mention that Kosta Koufos tied his career high with 18 points?

Yep. Typical Warriors.

More from LotharBot:

I know the Gol_en State Warriors' interior presence is somewhat lacking, but this game was ridiculous. They gave up 76 points in the paint to the Nuggets. Nuggets bigs also shot 14 for 20 on free throws, which I don't think count as points in the paint but definitely were points caused by GS not being able to stop Yi's chair. And it wasn't all the Nuggets' best players.

The starting center, Nene, didn't play in the second half. The third string center (Mozgov), backup powder forward (Harrington), and starting and backup small forwards (Gallinari, Chandler) were out. That's five guys 6'8" or bigger who were hurt, and still GS couldn't keep their remaining guys out of the paint. A lot of the damage was done by backup center Chris Andersen (14 points, 12 boards, 4 blocks) and fourth string center Kosta Koufas (a career high tying 18 points, 9 boards).

For the Warriors, "All Star" big man David Lee finished with 10 points, 5 boards, and no blocks. He's in the first year of a 6 year, $82 million contract.
By the way, high five to the Nuggets for reaching 50 wins minus 'Melo. And despite the 'Melodrama that went on before the trade.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: They are one of the rare teams in this league that could score 127 points on 55 percent shooting and win the rebounding battle 45-35...but lose anyway. Which is what they did last night in Phoenix. Extra kudos to Michael Beasley for blowing a free throw with 8.4 seconds left in regulation that could have won the game.

Said Beasley: "It hurts. I could have won the game with a free throw. It's going to haunt me tonight, but that's how it goes."

Chris's Uncanny Lacktion Ledger:

Heat-Hawks: Juwan Howard bricked once in 3:18 for a +1.

Celtics-Generals: Avery Bradley, just like his jersey number of zero, was unproductive in a game the leperchaun loyalists should have won: he had one miss, three fouls, and a turnover in 6:39 for a +5!

Jazz-Hornets: Patrick Ewing Jr. bit into a bouillon base of 1 trillion (62 seconds)!

Warriors-Nuggets: Melvin Ely elicited one brick in 2:14 for a +1.

Zombie Sonics-The Purple Paupers That Might Cost The Lakers A Half-Billion Dollars If The Maloofs Have Their Way In Order To Cover Their Casino-Renovation Debts: Daequan Cook baked one brick from the ovens at Pizza Rock for a +1 in 8:06.

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21 Comments:
Anonymous DetroitBasketbawful said...
As a lifelong NBA fan and a true blue Pistons fan from Detroit I have to say that this is absolutely disgusting. The Pistons are my team and I would watch close to 60 games a year plus playoffs, but this year I think I have watched about 2. This team lacks leadership and responsibility, and they make themselves and our city look like fools. If Charlie V and the rest of these idiots spent half as much energy working on their game, listening to their coach, and actually putting up the effort during gametime as they do staging walkouts, arguing with staff and each other, and creating drama on the court with other bottom feeders, they could be in the playoff hunt. This kind of shit is seriously pathetic for grown men and is an embarassment to everyone. The new ownership had better do some deep soul searching and turn this sinking ship around. It's hard to believe that in 3 years our team has gone from top 5 contender to absolute garbage. NBA fans, on behalf of Detroit, I'm sorry.

Blogger chris said...
Hey, technically, the Pistons represent Oakland County, NOT Detroit, so...

...oh.

It still says "Detroit" in the team name.

Ouch.

Anonymous DetroitBasketbawful said...
@Chris:

Sick Burn lol. It's pretty much a well-known fact that nobody actually lives in the city anymore, we just go there to party. It's kind of sad.

I would like to believe that there is hope for my team with the new ownership. From a recent interview with Pistons Owner Tom Gores:

"We're going to learn first," Gores said from a Palace suite. "We're not in decision-making mode.

"Are we afraid of change? Absolutely not; we're ready for change. Sometimes you need change, but we're going to learn right now, and there's a great, deep organization here that came before us, and we need to make the most out of that. Are we afraid of change? Absolutely not; we're ready for change.

"This is an unbelievable city. It's an unbelievable organization."

That being said he told Joe Dumars he could "stay as long as he likes" which doesn't sound like change to me. And is it just me or does this guy look like the hybrid love-child of Gene Simmons and Mark Cuban? It's like all the billionaires call up their stylists and order the "douche".

Blogger Solieyu said...
Might have something to do with the fact that LBJ had just been shoulder checked. 1st degree vs. manslaughter or something.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Charlie V is a cancer patient to the NBA.


Also, the "urban decay" pictures of Detroit rival only those of modern Chernobyl in unnerving-ness.

Anonymous William said...
Both LeBron and Big Z were assessed a technical for the ball-slinging (that verb seems appropriate to me). But in Z's case it was his second of the game, so he was tossed for getting two T's total.

Anonymous Don Ebay Mølse said...
Face,,,OFF!!

Blogger Lord Kerrance said...
I drove through Detroit on my way to Ohio last year, and it was insane. I'd never been to a city where you could clearly see the desolation from the freeway.

I vote that someone more talented than I give that Von Wafer clip the "Where Amazing Happens" treatment, a la that Z-Bo possession from years gone by.

Word Verification: Eument, presumably a portmanteau of Eureka moment. for example: "When I saw that clip of Von Wafer, I had a eument and realized that I had better cheer for someone other than Boston in the playoffs".

Blogger Wormboy said...
Yeah, I saw that Von Wafer play last night and it cracked me up. What the hell? Bad enough to sound like a German snack cookie....


re Z: You know, sometimes you just gotta wonder. When I was 25 and in in grad school, I found out that a good friend of mine (captain of my college ultimate club team) had committed suicide: blew his brains out. Obviously I was pretty bummed out, but I thought I had it under control. The next day I was playing in an intramural soccer game, and I just got pissed off, started screaming at the ref, and had to be dragged away by teammates. Red card. Intramural. Really.

So yeah, things can come boiling over in the weirdest way. I wonder what's up with Big Z?



re: Jason Terry. Can I just say that this guy ain't what he used to be?

Anonymous Batmanu said...
Hey Bawful, do you think the Bulls would benefit from picking up Michael Redd on a vet minimum next season? If he's recovered from the ACL injuries, he could be a big asset. If not, he's not eating cap space.

Blogger David said...
Michael Redd? If he can play defense (though I don't think so) it sounds great!

Anonymous EuroGuy said...
Kudos to Von Wafer for overshadowing any other bawfulness.

To add to Bradley's lacktivity: In his 6:39 minutes on the floor, the Celtics were an amazing -22. Not his fault alone, since he was playing with the end of the end of the bench, but still...

Blogger winnetou said...
Well, at least Boston's struggles will probably keep Von Wafer out of the "Worst Champions" section...

Regarding the potential Lakers' losses, is there a possiblility for this to prevent or delay the move? It doesn't seem like a nice thing to do to a three-peat candidate team... but then again, this is The System David Stern (in SVG's words iirc).

Blogger Sturla said...
How can you forget Superman's II epic ego-ectomy on Jrue Holiday
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgbFm57wggY

Blogger LotharBot said...
Today's Salt Lake Tribune has an article on how Jazz fans are annoyed by Carlos Boozer's success in Chicago. He left them in free agency and is doing well, while their team is doing not so well, and this bothers them.

On behalf of the city of Cleveland, I'd like to take this moment to remind everyone that long before there was "The Decision", there was "pulling a Boozer". You know, getting the team that drafted you to let you out of your contract so you can re-sign with them, and then leaving to sign with another team instead. And Jazz fans have the audacity to complain about the same guy leaving in free agency without any funny business going on?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
As a lifelong NBA fan and a true blue Pistons fan from Detroit I have to say that this is absolutely disgusting.

Dude, it has to suck. Joe Dumars went from brilliant to bum and the Pistons are so capped out it's going to take years for them to improve toward mediocrity. Just a bad mix of players...a sort of anti-chemistry squad. Forget a new coach. That team needs 12 heart transplants, stat.

Both LeBron and Big Z were assessed a technical for the ball-slinging (that verb seems appropriate to me). But in Z's case it was his second of the game, so he was tossed for getting two T's total.

Double-checked the box score and Big Z was assessed only one tech.

Hey Bawful, do you think the Bulls would benefit from picking up Michael Redd on a vet minimum next season? If he's recovered from the ACL injuries, he could be a big asset. If not, he's not eating cap space.

Funny you ask that. I read an article this morning about how Redd was unlikely to re-sign with Milwaukee after this season and immediately thought, "Maybe the Bulls could use..."

And then I thought about a washed up Michael Finley tanking for the Celtics last season and decided against it.

Today's Salt Lake Tribune has an article on how Jazz fans are annoyed by Carlos Boozer's success in Chicago. He left them in free agency and is doing well, while their team is doing not so well, and this bothers them.

I saw that and lol'd. The Jazz need to worry about themselves and not Carlos Boozer's fun train to Chicago.

How can you forget Superman's II epic ego-ectomy on Jrue Holiday


Fixed.

Blogger chris said...
winnetou: That's the hope by Purple Pauper fans - that Buss and Jackson and the Lakeshow (who are all clearly against the move, due to the contract they have with Time Warner - if ANY team moves to LA, they automatically lose 10% of what they would have had in revenue from the TV deal) will charge such a high price for the relocation fee that the Maloofs are forced to reconsider.

It's not much to go on, but it's created a strange world in which the fate of the Kings' in Sacramento rests upon the potential white knight move from...the same folks who have the hugest rivalry with Sactown.

Anonymous Geert said...
Chris posted: "winnetou: That's the hope by Purple Pauper fans - that Buss and Jackson and the Lakeshow (who are all clearly against the move, due to the contract they have with Time Warner - if ANY team moves to LA, they automatically lose 10% of what they would have had in revenue from the TV deal) will charge such a high price for the relocation fee that the Maloofs are forced to reconsider."

I don't get this. Please, enlighten an unknowing European. Do I understand it correctly that the other owners vote about a move or something? Do they all have to agree or is there some percentage that has to agree to a move?

Blogger jslater said...
Another long-time Pistons fan here. That "fight" involving CV last night was a capping horrible WTF moment to a season (well, actually several seasons, beginning with the Iverson trade) of horrible WTF moments.

Here's hoping Gores can get the team out of the deep hole it's in, but with some of the contracts, it ain't gonna be easy.

The weird thing is, while CV has some deficiencies as a player (rebounding, defense. . . .) he pretty much always seems like a genuinely nice, easy-going guy. Then there's last night. WTF.

Blogger LotharBot said...
Geert, yes, the owners collectively vote on whether or not a franchise is allowed to change cities.

I'm not usually a fan of that sort of arrangement, but it makes sense for pro sports. Since all the teams have to play each other, and all the teams' wellbeing is contingent on the other teams acting according to certain standards, it makes sense that owners have a say in whether a team is allowed to change cities.

Imagine how lame it'd be if some rich guy bought an east coast franchise and moved it to someplace like Fairbanks, Alaska, forcing all of their division rivals to have to travel thousands of miles to a frozen wasteland to play in a broken down stadium twice per season.

Anonymous Batmanu said...
Funny you ask that. I read an article this morning about how Redd was unlikely to re-sign with Milwaukee after this season and immediately thought, "Maybe the Bulls could use..."

And then I thought about a washed up Michael Finley tanking for the Celtics last season and decided against it.


Well, don't forget that Redd is younger than that Mike Fin. Remember the Mike Fin that my Spurs had when Dallas dropped him? Maybe he can be more like that one.

Side note: While I'm thinking about Michael Finley, was he not the person the Spurs have ever employed? Every time he hit the court, the lights dimmed. Haha.

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