Scott contemplates murder
"Hmm, let's see, where could I hide 12 bodies...?"

The New Jersey Nyets: Despite the whole "22 games below .500" thing, the Nyets entered last night's home game against the Bulls as one of the league's hottest. No, really. Their five consecutive victories had them tied with the Oklahoma City for the second-longest active winning streak in the NBA. Okay, sure, their first four victories were against the Craptors (twice), Warriors and Clippers, but their last win had been against the Boston Celtics.

The Nyets!

Then they ran into reality a buzzsaw. The Bulls, after all, had the league's longest active winning streak at seven. They left New Jersey with a winning streak of eight straight games, mostly because they held the Nyets to 34.9 percent shooting and a season-low 73 points. (New Jersey's previous low had been 75 points against the Celtics back on December 5.) The Nyets got only 14 layup attempts and missed nine of them. The Bulls ripped down 17 offensive rebounds and outscored New Jersey 46-22 in the paint.

Said Kris Humprhies: "We just couldn't score points tonight. You look at the stat sheet and we shot in the 30s. We held them to a good amount of points and we just needed to turn it up offensively, but we weren't able to do that."

Added Deron Williams: "We could have played a lot better and shot a lot better, 35 percent from the field is tough to win."

Speaking of Deron...

Deron Williams, worst player of the night: D-Will dished out a game-high 11 assists and, down the stretch, he kept the Nyets within striking distance with his dribble penetration and passing. That said, Williams shot a truly bawful 1-for-12 -- including 0-for-3 from downtown -- and got abused on defense by the previously defenseless Derrick Rose. Derrick swatted two of Deron's shots and, with 3:17 left in the game and the Nyets down only two points, Rose stole a long pass from Williams and went the other way for a fast break layup. Gamebreaker.

In the final tally, the Nyets were outscored by 12 points with Williams on the floor...and they lost by 11.

Get that weak stuff out of here, D-Will!

Kris Humphries' defensive rotation: Dude actually had 16 boards and 5 blocked shots...but his rotation on this dunk was so bad D-Rose almost killed himself slamming the ball home.


The Memphis Grizzlies: This humiliating defeat for the Grizzlies -- a team that's fighting to hold onto the final playoff spot out West by the way -- is best summed up by the following data provided by ESPN Stats and Information:

The New York Knicks set a franchise record with 20 three-pointers in their 120-99 win vs the Memphis Grizzlies. Prior to Thursday, the franchise record for threes in a game had been the 19 the Knicks sank against the Grizzlies on November 12, 2008.

Toney Douglas did a great deal of New York's damage from behind the arc, tying a team record with a career-high nine threes. The only other players to make nine three-pointers in a game this season are J.R. Smith (March 12) and Dorell Wright (November 27).
The best part is that New York's previous franchise high was set against Memphis back in 2008. In that 2008 game, five of those treys were drilled by lil' Nate Robinson and even Zach Randolph hit one for the Knicks, 'cause, you know, he was playing for them back then.

For some reason, it's comforting to know the Grizzlies have a rich history of not putting hands in the faces of the Knicks. Memo to Memphis: It takes more than a Care Bear Stare to make your opponents miss shots.

Speaking of which, how 'bout Tony Douglas? He went 1-of-12 in Sunday's home loss to the Pacers. Last night, he shot 10-for-14 from the field...and 9-for-12 from beyond the arc.

Said Douglas: "Once I started hitting, I felt like there was no defense out there."

That's because there wasn't any defense out there, Toney.

Added Randolph: "They shoot the ball very well against us. It was one of them games, a disappointing game. We came out and played and didn't stick to our game plan [and] didn't stick to the identity of our team the way we play and they blew us out."

Let's see: 120-99? Yep. That qualifies as a blowout, Zach.

Lionel Hollins, coach of the year candidate: "They beat us with 3s last game. They beat us tonight with 3s. I just told our team that if they shoot 3s like that every night, they'd be tough to beat. Obviously they don't because they got smashed by Indiana and beat by Indiana because they didn't make 3s. But you win, you live by the jumper, you die by the jumper. We struggled to guard them on the 3-point line and we struggled to score consistently."

Mike D'Antoni, coach of the year candidate: "Hang in there, we're hanging in there, we're pedaling as fast as we can pedal. The biggest thing, and I'll just keep repeating, is that we're not going to get caught up in the hysteria and we're going to be who we are, we're going to play as well as we can and get it together and hang in as a group and try to make the playoffs and then try to do as good as we can."

The Cleveland Cadavers: On Wednesday night, after Cleveland's come-from-behind victory over the Kings, coach Byron Scott praised his team's effort and toughness. Okay, not really. Here's what he said: "It's amazing what competing will do. I've been very critical the last few games. I told them there are three or four things you need to do every night. We did that tonight. We competed the whole game."

Well, last night, the Cadaver's competed for roughly zero minutes. Uh oh.

And Cleveland's 111-70 loss to the Frail Blazers, Scott held a private 30-minute meeting with his team and then came out and blasted them to the press.

Said Scott: "Our team is so soft mentally it's unbelievable."

Think all the losing is getting to Byron?

More Scott:

"We forgot that we have to come in here and play a team that's much better. Guys didn't have any focus on what we were doing, and it trickled down from one guy to the last guy. We got exactly what we deserved."

And:

"Good old-fashioned butt-whipping. I don't think our guys understood that the team we beat (Wednesday) night has 16 wins and the team we played tonight is playing for something. They came out and played like it."

And:

"We were on our heels the whole night. No resistance defensively. Even the first three or four minutes of the game, we didn't follow our defensive gameplan. Guys didn't have any focus on what we were doing. It trickled down from one guy to the last guy and we got exactly what we deserved."

While Scott sounded straight up homicidal, Baron Davis sounded like he was about ready to be put on suicide watch. And this is a guy who spent the last couple seasons playing for the Clippers.

Said B-Dizzle: "I'm at a loss for words right now. Kind of numb, just numb. It's tough. For the first time in my life I can't draw from anything. I can't find anything. ... They saw blood and they never stopped. It's like we weren't there. By the time we figured out we were there, we were down 30 points."

It was just that kind of night.

The Cadavers fell behind 24-2 out of the gate, trailed by as many as 44 points in the third quarter, and lost by 41. They shot 35.6 percent while allowing the Blazers to convert 54.2 percent of their field goals. Cleveland was outrebounded 45-29 (including 15-7 on the offensive glass) and out-assisted by an absurd 29-6. Oh, and they gave up 28 points off 19 turnovers. But, hey, the Cads had a 30-13 advantage in free throw attempts on the road! Bright side!

Okay, maybe not.

Some noteably bad performances: In 27 minutes, starter Alonzo Gee scored 2 points on 0-for-5 shooting. In 21 minutes, starting shooting guard Anthony Parker -- who was targeted by the Bulls and Celtics and whom the Cadavers didn't want to give up at the trade deadline -- finished with 4 points, 2 turnovers, and 0 assists. Starting power forward Samardo Samuels went 1-for-8 from the field. B-Diddy came off the bench to contribute 3 turnovers and 0 assists while shooting 1-for-4 in his 15-minute stint. Joey Graham earned a DNP-CD in a 41-point blowout. Which is either mercy or cruelty, I'm not sure which.

John Krolik of Cavs the Blog published a post titled Recap: Blazers 111, Cavs 70 (Or, Baron’s back and OH GOD THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD) that, in total, said:

Everything about this game was miserable.

The Cavs had 6 assists and 18 turnovers.

105 of Portland's points came from the paint, the free-throw line, or the three-point line.

Offense miserable, defense miserable, everything miserable. I hope you had a good St. Patrick’s day, everyone. I have nothing tonight.
That pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

Chris's Mini Lacktion Ledger:

Bulls-Nyets: Sundiata Gaines gave Newark a show of null-ness, bricking FOUR times in 10:38 (twice from the Mulberry Arcade) and adding a foul and rejection for a +6!!! Fellow ruble rouser Brandan Wright countered a board with a 49-second session of Koopa shell kicking for a non-lacktive Mario.

Grizzlies-Knicks: Ishmael Smith bricked once from 34th Street and lost the rock for a +2 in 2:18, while New York's Ronny Turiaf tore out two boards and a free throw in 13:24 with a trio of fouls and two turnovers for a 5:3 Voskuhl.

Sad Cadavers-Frail Blazers: Jarron Collins built up one piece of masonry for the Portland-based infirmary in 3:43.

Labels: , , ,

31 Comments:
Blogger Will said...
Fun fact: Toney Douglas tied Latrell Sprewell with those 9 treys. The only difference was that Spree didn't miss from 3 (most 3's made without a miss in 1 game in NBA history).

Blogger Fishy said...
Haha Bawful should've put a clip of Williams' "I'm the best" bit and shown more of Rose teaching him how to play basketball (if they are available).

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
My last game of the season?

April 6th, Craptors vs. Cadavers.

Maybe I should just light the tickets on fire?

Anonymous DKH said...
Well, I guess Rose only fouled Williams a little bit on that play, but it's the NBA, and highlights are more important than rules.

Anyway, the Cavs were on the second night of a back-to-back, and way out of their time zone (although in the more preferable direction). Also they are young (kinda?), so that should have less of an effect, maybe; I dunno. But I knew it would be bad when ESPN's top performer for the Cavs was Manny Harris with 10 points, 2 rebounds, and 3 assists. Not exactly filling the stat sheet.

"105 of Portland's points came from the paint, the free-throw line, or the three-point line."

Am I the only one that finds it odd to quote that stat? I mean, shouldn't most of any given team's points come from the three highest-percentage areas on the court? Only six of the Cavs points came from beyond 10 feet and inside the arc as well. The stat itself just isn't indicative of much of anything. Cavs probably had more missed shots from that zone, though.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Well, I guess Rose only fouled Williams a little bit on that play, but it's the NBA, and highlights are more important than rules.

You're kidding, right? That play had less contact than probably 98 percent of most NBA plays. And none of it happened on the block itself, as you should be able to see from the overhead shot of the play.

Am I the only one that finds it odd to quote that stat? I mean, shouldn't most of any given team's points come from the three highest-percentage areas on the court? Only six of the Cavs points came from beyond 10 feet and inside the arc as well. The stat itself just isn't indicative of much of anything. Cavs probably had more missed shots from that zone, though.

Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I guess the goal of most NBA defenses is to force opponents into a lot of contested, long-range two-pointers (commonly referred to as "The Deng"). Portland basically got whatever they wanted: Open threes and layups. Or they got fouled.

Anonymous Batmanu said...
Cavs probably had more missed shots from that zone, though.

The Cads missed more from pretty much every zone. I don't think half of them can score in the pregame warm-ups.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
JaVale McGee defends his triple-double:

Wizards center JaVale McGee had a triple-double on Tuesday against the Bulls. McGee scored 11 points, grabbed 12 rebounds and blocked 12 blocks. He was criticized by some because the Wizards were down by 18 when he scored the needed points and hung on the rim -- resulting in a technical -- to celebrate the accomplishment.

McGee defended his triple-double on Thursday.

"I got a triple-double," McGee told The Washington Post. "Who can say they got a triple-double? I'm not really worried about it."

Some compared it to Ricky Davis a few years ago trying to get a triple-double by rebounding his own miss on the Cavs defensive basket. The league did not allow it.

"I couldn't understand how they were saying it was like Ricky Davis," McGee said. "The thing about it is, I wasn't trying to get a triple-double until they started running plays for me at the end. So, that's totally different."

Anonymous DKH said...
You're kidding, right? That play had less contact than probably 98 percent of most NBA plays. And none of it happened on the block itself, as you should be able to see from the overhead shot of the play.

Based on the overhead shot, it looked to me like there was a lot of body contact and that Rose went through Williams to get the block, rather than getting the block and having any contact with Williams be incidental. I'm not at a computer where I can re-watch it right now.

Portland basically got whatever they wanted: Open threes and layups. Or they got fouled.

Yea, I get that this is the point the author was trying to make, and I agree that the Cavs defense has gone to crap this year (so maybe Mike Brown was good for something all that time?), I just would try to find a different stat, like shot selection + eFG% or something, I'm not sure.

Blogger chris said...
My last game of the season?

April 6th, Craptors vs. Cadavers.

Maybe I should just light the tickets on fire?


You might witness a trillion in person. GO.

Blogger Will said...
The Other Chris- They scheduled that game 2 weeks too soon. You'd have to be high to be able to endure it.

Blogger Cortez said...
"Well, I guess Rose only fouled Williams a little bit on that play, but it's the NBA, and highlights are more important than rules."

Great block. The ref was in a great position to see that it wasn't a foul. All contact is not automatically a foul. Williams fell because he lost his footing on the landing. If he had went strong toward the rim rather than trying to flip it over (D. Rose style!) he probably would have drawn a foul.

Anonymous laddder said...
LOL in spirit of St Pats, Byron is probably wishing he can drown his sorrow with some booze

Blogger LotharBot said...
> I just would try to find a different stat

I wish somebody kept stats based on shot selection. One of the observations I've made about the new-look Nuggets is that they're taking way more layups and threes, and way fewer mid-to-long range twos (both in comparison to the Melo Nuggets, and in comparison to their opponents), but I can't find any sites with that data in a nice format. I've had to resort to counting shots from espn's shot selection / game flow screen.

> April 6th, Craptors vs. Cadavers.

A real live null-star game! Lucky!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
JaVale McGee defends his triple-double:

That guy really doesn't get it.

The Wiz have some nice, athletic young big men. Unfortunately they seem to have the BB IQ of a sack of hammers.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Is it just me or is Derrick Rose playing alot worse than during the first half of the season?

I'm a big Rose fan, however lately it seems to me every time I check the stats he went 8-22 and 0-4 from three last night. He seems to be really jacking up shots like there's no tomorrow and mostly on bad percentages.

Now I have to add, I can only judge by the highlights and the boxscore, since they show no NBA in my country and I watch streams pretty much only during the playoffs.

I know a lot of people here watch the Bulls alot, especially Basketbawful. What say you? Has all the pleading for him to take more shots actually overshot the target? Or is he one of those players that the boxscore just don't do justice?

I would really be interested in your opinions.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Anon, I had the same qualm about Rose and his Iversonian statlines. I can't truly judge though. I'd guess part of it is partly because of the Bulls dearth of ability at the SG spot.

Blogger LotharBot said...
Who'd have ever thought Nuggets-Magic would feature such bad shooting? Both teams' offenses have been putrid tonight. Turnovers, missed layups, airballs, and no team has broken 60 points yet (about a minute left in the third.)

Blogger Dan B. said...
FYI, sorry about the lack of BAD posts this week, guys. Crazy week with after-hours work meetings, birthdays, and other assorted fun including March Madness (hurray for free streaming of all the gams on my iPhone). And to cap it off, Dad's once again not feeling well and the first guesses by the doctors are either kidney stones (most likely) or appendicitis.

Anonymous Miller31 said...
442 points, that might bring him the MVP title.

http://img225.imageshack.us/i/billede8.png/

Anonymous Czernobog said...
did the bucks really score 110 points in regulation last night?

Blogger Wormboy said...
Gotta love ESPN. One of their NBA section headers this morning:

"Top 2011 Free Agents

Melo might be off the free-agent market, but there are still plenty of big names available this summer."

captioning pictures of Greg Oden, Z-Bo, and Yao Ming.

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f216/Metastasis2000/Picture4.png

Really? Am I missing something? Are they being ironic?

Anonymous Barry said...
Z-Bo reverting back to "classic Z-Bo" after a max contract would be an affirmation of all things 'bawful.

ESPN is really selling that free agency.

captcha: fooks

Blogger chris said...
It really seems like the Maloofs want this relocation thing - which looks more and more likely, not that it was ever anything but - to be as painful and as wretchedly slow as possible:

http://www.sactownroyalty.com/2011/3/19/2059902/bee-anaheim-potentially-issuing-bonds-to-upgrade-honda-center#comments

Couldn't they have just quit on the city in 2006 when their boutique "taxpayers should line our pockets with an arena we spend almost nothing on" measures got slammed in the polls? What were they honestly waiting for the last five years?

The reality that in a few weeks, pro basketball may never ever again be in Sacramento - as stark, as close as it is - is not something I have yet come close to grips with. Once we're there, we're there, and there's no turning back.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
March Madness is one of those weird basketball moments when you watch kids playing their hearts out because they love the game and they love the "name on the front of the jersey" for that short moment of perfection when Dr Naismith rests easily in his grave.

Then you get the draft and everything just goes wrong.

If I were Stern (and this might be a minority view), I'd have 22 as the minimum age you can enter the league. Try and teach some of these guys the value of education, and team and community spirit.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
anyone watching the knicks being held to 9 points in the first quarter?

Blogger Benway said...
@ Anonymous
Why not just make them convert to the good white jesus while yr imposing yr hyperbolic sense of community spirit?
Not sure if you've checked the numbers, but almost all NBA players give back to the communities that they play in. Quite a few do international outreach and are ambassadors not only of the game but for our country as well.
And last time I checked, $$$ and action does a lot more for a community than some bullshit BYU honor code.
Nevermind the naivety you show in subscribing that the NCAA is somehow not a slave driven business model where coaches are general fucksticks and boosters take their ball and go home if they don't get their way.

Blogger lordhenry said...
I was at the Pacers game on friday, and thought D-Rose was the only reason the Bulls got back into the game.
The Bulls were playing on the second night of a back-to-back, and looked lethargic, while the Pacers couldn't miss in the first half.

As a quick aside, I told my Dad before the game that based on how well the Pacers were plaing and the Bulls schedule, it was possible we would see either overtime or a D-Rose comeback/Game-winner.
In the last few minutes the Bulls got back within 10 and D-rose tirelessly attacked the basket, earning foul-shots with an almost D-whistle-like frequency.
He drove around defenders like parking cones, and split double-teams regularly, it was like the Pacers defense was the Skills Challenge.
Granted, this was only my second NBA game live, but the first was last year's Lakers/Pacers in Indy, and Kobe had a great game--10-15, 29 points, 9 reb, 9ast, and D-Rose still looked pretty awesome even compared to that. I think he's the MVP, the Bulls live and die with or without him. And of course, after tying it up, he fouled out at the beginning of OT, and the Bulls lost.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
lordhenry, you forgot to mention Rose was a whopping 1-5 in OT before fouling out. I know fatigue played a role, but when teams go through what the Pacers do in blowing a lead, they usually collapse. They were quite fortunate.

Anonymous EuroGuy said...
@Wormboy: I can't believe they forgot Big Baby on that list.

Blogger lordhenry said...
@Kazam92 Touche. Good Point.

However, The rest of the Bulls still completely collapsed after he was gone.
And I don't care who you are, hitting 3 freethrows in a row with 1.2 seconds left to tie the game is clutch.
Still think he is the MVP.

Anonymous Shiv said...
Seriously Bawful, Bosh has 5 straight double-doubles. Reverse stat-curse much?

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