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If Ronnie James Dio was still alive, Richard Jefferson would tell him the Spurs are definitely not the Last in Line for at title run

To celebrate the Steelers' appearance in this weekend's Super Bowl, watch Pittsburgh Penguins' backup goalie Brent Johnson get in his first NHL fight, and break Islanders goalie Rick DiPietro's face with one punch. And I mean that literally -- he broke his face. DiPietro has facial fractures and will be out 4-6 weeks. To anyone familiar with DiPietro's injury history (he's down with injuries almost as often as Yao Ming), it isn't surprising, but still. Way to lock him up with a 15 year contract, Islanders! (Hockeyawful? It doesn't roll off the tongue very well, but it is indeed awful hockey)


Damn.


Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Spurs Lakers Basketball
Woah.


Bucks Warriors Basketball
Vladimir Radmanovic is digusted, dumbfounded, or just ugly. Take your pick.


Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Mavericks at Celtics, ESPN, 8pm: For some reason, Dirk Nowitzki loves playing the Celtics. His 27.3 points per game against Boston is his highest against any team, and he actually averages 27.7 ppg at the TD Garden. Too bad Boston couldn't find a way to wrangle him away from the Mavs -- they'd be unstoppable!

Jazz at Nuggets, ESPN, 10:30pm: Why is Denver always so unpredictable? They are competitive and have a fantastic home record, but they lose stupid games against mediocre to crappy teams on the road.

All The Other Friday Games:
Frail Blazers at Pacers, 7pm: I need to reiterate something truly, truly depressing: Indiana, with all of 19 wins and 27 losses so far, is just one game behind Charlotte for the 8th seed in the playoffs. Way to go, Leastern Conference. This is why you can't have nice things.

Knicks at 76ers, 7pm: The Sixers have won 7 of their last 10 (and are now being referred to in the media as "surging," of course). However, fool's gold? Those wins have been over the Bucks, Bobcraps, Jazz (who were in a bad slump), Suns, Craptors, Nuggets, and Nyets.

Magic at Wizards Generals, 7pm: Ruh roh. This is the first trip back to Washington for Gilbert Arenas since the trade...

Timberwolves at Craptors, 7pm: Oh good grief. The Craptors are riding a 13 game losing streak, and need to win this one to avoid their longest losing streak in more than 13 years. The good news? They get to play the Timberwolves, who have a defense roughly as non-existent as the Craptors'. The bad news? The fossilized dinos lost to the Timberwolves just a week ago. But at least it will be uptempo since, as The Other Chris noted, "Not a thimble of defense will be played..."

Heat at Bobcraps, 7pm: While the Bobcraps have really turned things around, they still aren't that great of a team, and they still can't beat quality competition. Case in point, they've been outscored by an average of 11 points in two games against the Heat this year.

Clippers at Hawks, 7:30pm: BRB, gonna review my earthquake emergency safety drill plans just in case Blake Griffin throws down a dunk so violent it moves the Earth.

Nyets at Pistons, 7:30pm: Eleven straight road losses for the Nyets? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Cadavers at Grizzlies, 8pm: The Cadavers -- back when they were still on life support and not clinically dead -- managed to beat the Grizzlies back in late November and in fact had a 7-9 record after that game. Since then? That train has derailed, exploded, and another train has crashed into the remains. Injuries, incompetence, and general sucktitude mean they've lost 32 of the last 33 games, and 22 consecutive.

Thunder at Suns, 9pm: The Suns have won 8 of their last 11, but perhaps more notably, they have held their last three opponents to an average of only 83 points. Okay, yeah, one of those was Milwaukee, so that tends to skew the numbers a little, but still. What the hell? When did they decide "oh, yeah, maybe we should play a little defense?"

Spurs at Kings, 10pm: And thus begins the streak of six consecutive opponents with losing records. Yeah, I'd say the rodeo road trip isn't that bad this year.

* * *

Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Hawks at Wizards Generals, NBA TV, 7pm: Since it's not a road game, the Generals have a small chance of winning. You know, assuming the Hawks don't start doing some Globetrotters trick shots. If that's the case, they're screwed.

All The Other Saturday Games:
Mavericks at Bobcraps, 7pm: Mark Cuban has announced that he's open to the idea of renting a player like Carmelo. What, you mean Brian Cardinal isn't going to take you to a title?

Frail Blazers at Cadavers, 7:30pm: Portland fans get to look Cleveland right in the eye and say "Injuries? Big f'ing deal you've got injuries!!"

Lakers at Hornets, 8pm: Interesting post: Is Kobe Bryant a black hole?

Grizzlies at Rockets, 8:30pm: And suddenly, Memphis is above .500 -- so of course here come the Rockets to annoy and pester them.

Pistons at Bucks, 8:30pm: Well, Milwaukee fans, you need something to watch instead of this game as well, so try this: corgis playing tetherball. ("AWWWWWWWWW!")

Nuggets at Timberwolves, 8:30pm: Defensive optional? Defense nonexistent. Wooooooo.

Thunder at Jazz, 9pm: A great Northwest division battle, and a great contrast of styles. The Jazz have one of the highest assist totals in the league. The Thunder... not so much.

Bulls at Warriors, 10:30pm: The Warriors are only five games shy of equaling their win total for all of last season. And yet they're still twelve games back in the Pacific standings. Progress...?

* * *

Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Magic at Celtics, ABC, 2:30pm: Realization I just had: the Celtics are one of the best teams in the league this year despite being only 29th in rebounds per game. It's pretty reasonable to assume rebounding is one of the more important aspects of a basketball game, but is it possible for a really, really good defense to outweigh that? (looks at other teams) Yeah, the Timberwolves lead the league in rebounds, and you're well aware of their "defense." I think that answers that question.

All The Other Sunday Games:
Clippers at Heat, 12pm: Blake Griffin may be a beast, but the Clippers are not a fundamentally solid team, and therefore not a good road team. And they only have one more home game the entire rest of the month of February, and that game is against the Celtics. I hate to be the bearer of bad news (okay, I'm lying, it's about basketball, I love being the bearer of bad news), but that miraculous run for a playoff berth isn't looking very good at this point...

Pacers at Nyets, 12pm: What, you mean this game is not being played opposite the Super Bow later this evening??

76ers at Knicks, 12pm: Amazing how these two teams have reversed directions in the past month, isn't it?

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45 Comments:
Anonymous William said...
The Celtics are actually a respectable 16th in Rebounding rate (tied with Memphis and Philly... okay, maybe that's not respectable). Moreover, they're 7th in defensive rebounding rate, and simply slacking on the offensive end. Their crappy offensive rebounding is probably a product of a) getting back on defense, and b) shooting a league best 53.6% in effective field goal percentage.

Blogger Dan B. said...
William -- Shit, I didn't clarify where I was going with that joke, so it doesn't make any sense. I was referring to the raw Rebounds Per Game number. Boston doesn't have as many shot attempts for or against, therefore their actual total number of rebounds is necessarily lower. So that's obviously not a terribly useful stat, yet it's one of the main stats shown on each team's page on ESPN.com.

But beyond that, your points are all very valid I believe.

Blogger Eugene said...
Kevin Love named the replacement for Yao. ESPN fast break

Anonymous Reignman said...
Richard Jefferson does everything in a gay way (and by that I mean he always has a smile in his face).

Okay, moving on...Iguodala has 9 assists in the first quarter? Oh, they're playing a D'Antoni team...
Crucify 'em Iggy, nail that Newyorker ass to the tree of woe!

Blogger Dan B. said...

Blogger Passives Abseits said...
Just saw the promotion for the first NBA regular Season game. It's supposed to be a critical game... and it's also the Craptors vs the Nyets...
awesome how they tried to make that exciting

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Elton Brand's fetid corpse just squatted and shat on the Knicks.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Wow..great call at the end of the clippers game..

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Cleveland 2nd half meltdown! Cavs lose! Lost 23 straight!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I mean, assuming Portland's gym doesn't explode before the game.

Blogger Dick Sullivan said...
Two things: Kidd definitely shuffled that foot and Garnett definitely held Dirk. A push?

And I really want to like KG, but he just makes it so dickishly impossible when he tries to get in fights with 5-10 Puerto Rican point guards, which he does at least two, three times a week, I'm sure.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
As soon as KG get's Anthony Peeler'd one more time, I think he'll behave. I'm just waiting for that fateful day

Blogger Wormboy said...
I'm pretty sure that Ronnie James Dio was alive. Don't you think the man deserves some subjunctive so as not to be erased from history? :p

God the NHL is a frackin joke of a pro sports league. Hockey is a fantastic sport, and in the NHL it is totally thugged out. Too bad.

Blogger JerryT said...
yeah, i believe that the state is pushing a law prohibiting all 5-10 peurto rican point guards from entering boston and its suburbs, due to the high risk of them loosing their fragile lives by the hand of a bald dickheaded powerforward with a sticker on its head. Also the state is considering the same for basketball referees, who may be hit by a ricocheting hand of the abovementioned individual...

and for real, as much as i love the energy KG brings to the celts defense, the way that he just pulls the team together, so much i believe he should be sent to some psychiatrist to work in his issues. basicly every game now he prooves he has some. and serious ones. pushing the judge who stops him from getting a tech just shows it too clearly.

Anonymous ZygomaticArch said...
I need the aid of The Great Basketbawful on this one. In the near future I will be starting a church built around the one and only Larry Joe Bird and I need a few prayers to get me started. For your contributions I will make you the very first Pope of the Birdssynian Celtic Church and you will reside in the real Larryland that I will build (This all happens after I become stinkin rich somehow). The church will teach importance of working hard, sacrificing your body for the good of the team, and hitting the open man with a pinpoint bounce pass. Your papal robes will look something like this
http://www.freakingnews.com/The-Irish-Pope-Pics-78608.asp

Or maybe this
http://spacezombie.net/uploaded_images/Garrnet-715806.jpg

The opening hymn will obviously be "Celtics Pride" by The High Five
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ88bC9EPUo

The process of becoming a Saint in the Birdssynian Celtic Church is similar to that of the Catholic Church. 3 miracles must be performed, two while on the court and one while off the court of course.

Let me know what you think.

Blogger Bing said...
I would love to see someone lay KG out

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
May this weekend be one that Basketbawful Never Forgets.

Anonymous tabman said...
Yeah I have to say I'm pretty surprised there were no repercussions whatsoever for KG swatting away that referee's hand not once, but twice. I thought he was going to get tossed for that or at least get another T (which would've led to the toss). Even after the league reviewed it, nothing (all they did was retroactively assign a flagrant on some other play that was a no-call and that i don't even remember):

http://sports.espn.go.com/boston/nba/news/story?id=6093863

Blogger Damirez said...
I'm no Italian scholar, but I think di pietro means "of stone" in Italian, which is bawfully ironic.

Blogger TeamD said...
Di Pietra means made of stone :)

Blogger JerryT said...
according to babelfish translator di pietro means "of peter" in english. but hey, nice try nethertheless ;)

Anonymous Cetti said...
marquis daniles just bumped into arenas, and didnt get up. they carried him away on a barrow. that didnt look good at all.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Rondo used LAYUP.
It's super effective!

Marquis used HEADBUTT.
It's not very effective...
Maquis fainted.

/ticket please

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ JerryT

...and Peter goes back to Petros, which is Greek for rock. Think of Saint Peter. Nice try nevertheless :)

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Haha @ the Pokemon breakdown

Blogger Dan B. said...
Fucking Steelers. Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck Ben Roethlisberger and his tiny rapist dick. Only QB in the league who could overthrow Mike Wallace under any circumstance. And fuck the entire Steelers secondary for playing so fucking passive and letting the Packers throw for 10-15 yards at will every single down. Packers played overall poorly aside from capitalizing on the ridiculous Steelers turnovers. The Steelers just played even worse. Fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Blogger JerryT said...
@ Anonymus: we were however talking about italian ;)

Anonymous Dave M said...
Wormboy - Dio died last year.

****

Dan - how do you guys come with these photos on such a consistent basis? They're amazing, like stills from some old Dead End Kids movie.

Blogger TeamD said...
@JerryT - i speak fluent italian, better than babelfish trust me.

Told you what it meant, of course it can be a surname too.

God i hate Kevin Fartnett pussy ass

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ JerryT

I know. I am just saying, the Greek word Petros seems to be the origin of all variations of Peter, including the Italien one. Knowing that, you can be pretty sure Pietro can translate to rock as well.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
How could anyone not in Pittsburgh root for the Stealers? Bastards won far too many times for my liking.

(Maybe if you are a Bears or Vikings fan I guess)

Blogger Dan B. said...
kazam92 -- Because there's no local football team for me besides the Bengals, and I'm sure as hell not rooting for that mess of a franchise. Plus my dad's been a Steelers fan for ages so I grew up watching them. (Yes, I suffered through the Neil O'Donnell, Kordell Stewart, and Tommy Maddox years. Though luckily I was too young to remember the Bubby Brister years.) Also, I love defense-first and run-first football, and the Steelers are pretty much the only team still doing that these days, except kinda sorta Baltimore, but fuck those guys. Ray Lewis can die in a fire.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
@kazam92: Apart from that, there's just something really likeable about these Packers. A-Rodge being such a sick ass QB despite being a late pick, John Kuhn and his workmanlike, fundamental game, B.J. Raji's enormous gut... They're a plucky, beat-the-odds kind of team that's fun to watch.

Anonymous Jab said...
@Dan B:

I'm pretty sure that Derek Anderception could overthrow Wallace (or anyone else)...

/sad CardsFan

Anonymous Cetti said...
could someone here, in a few sentences, describe whats so fascinating about football to my ignorant european self? I watched the bowl yesterday, and yes, there are fascinating aspects and lots of tactical varieties which I find interesting. But watching football like basketball night in night out? I don't see it.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Heh, that reminds me of a trivia question: Which 4 NFL teams have never even appeared in a Super Bowl? Without looking it up, I only got 3, and the 4th I missed because I didn't think Cleveland could be any worse of a sports city.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
So I guessed Cincinnati instead.

Anonymous JJ said...
Anyone see Eddie House push Griffin because Griffin was about to make an alley-oop jam? I knew House could be an ass, but that's pretty lame.

I hope Griffin doesn't get his spirit broken from the rookie hazing he's getting from rest of the league and from the fact he's a Clipper.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Cetti - Yesterday's game was kinda sloppy. Not as sloppy as Christina Aguilera messing up the anthem, or the stage spelling LOIE, but not the great game it could have been.

And it's not night in night out. It's once a week. Okay, 3 times on Sunday. And once Monday. And Thursday for the 2nd half. And sometimes Saturday.

Here it is in a few words:
It's our major blue and white collar sport. Exciting plays, strategies more fans understand now more than ever due to Madden games, gambling, statistics, and tight pants with asses, football can reach a wide demographic pool.

Anonymous DKH said...
AHL:

I always find that "fact" to be somewhat misleading since the Super Bowl wasn't always the name of the NFL championship.

Beyond that, a quick check of wikipedia says that the Browns played in the NFL championship game in the last season before the first Super Bowl, and won the year prior to that.

Incidentally, the Lions won the 1957 championship game, over the Browns.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
One thing I like about football is that you can count on there being several "wow" plays a game, and that those plays will be meaningful in a way that an alley-oop dunk isn't. A 30 yard pass like the one Rodgers made last night doesn't immediately result in a score, but it usually affects the game more than any one basket. And in Soccer, conversely, most fantastic passes usually lead to just another pass that isn't as fantastic and a missed opportunity. Not every good offensive attempt leads to an actual goal. They rarely do, actually.

I still enjoy both sports more than football, but for simple gratification beyond a purist appreciation of movement and spacing I think football probably has them beat.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
DKH - Uh, it's not misleading at all. It says right there, Super Bowl. Not NFL championship. Your beef with how to count Football championships has nothing to do with the trivia question.

Blogger Wormboy said...
@Dave M: I know. I was just saying that Dio deserves some subjunctive, i.e. "If Ronnie James Dio WERE still alive..."

Blogger cmoney said...
Man love alert!

http://mobilepictures.orlandosentinel.com/gallery.php?counter=2&slug=orl-magic-celtics-pictures-020511

Anonymous HS said...
Bit late the to game, but:

Its not Hockeyawful, its...

Pucking Terrible!

Hey?!Hey?! ..here all week.

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