"Damnit MJ, I can't believe I let you talk me into making all those Super Bowl bets..."
Kelly Dwyer -- the only other basketball fan I know who can make a Steely Dan reference on the fly -- took some time to remind of the saddest NBA game ever. You know, aside from any of Cleveland's games this year.
I think we can all agree that the halftime show in this year's Super Bowl was footbawful at its finest/worst. Honestly, Black Eyed Peas, how do you make Slash suck? That takes effort. And putting a bedazzled top hat on him? Sigh. (And Usher? Really? Really?) Anyway, I took the liberty of compiling my favorite tweets from last night related to the halftime show. Kind of a long list, but how could it not be long? That was a long ass halftime show of failure and sadness. And white-suited guys with weird glowing boxes on their heads.
Good Lord, Anderson Varejao's Sideshow Bob haircut looks even worse in street clothes
This Cleveland fan isn't sad because the Cadavers suck -- he wears the bag all the time, and the woman behind him understandably rejected his advances
Hey Doc, shouldn't you be coaching instead of checking out the dance team?
It's impossible for a Stan Van Gundy picture to not make me smile
Nationally Televised Games: Timberwolves at Hornets, NBA TV, 8pm: Anyone over at NBA TV want to explain the appeal of this game to me? The Hornets are slumping, yes, but the Timberpoops are frightened that playing defense might result in six more weeks of winter, regardless of whatever that groundhog said the other day. My prediction for this game? Pain (for the viewers, at least).
All The Other Games: Celtics at Bobcraps, 7pm: Ray Allen. Four treys away from beating Reggie Miller's record. Stephen Jackson. Four techs away from a one-game suspension. Can you guess which of these teams is in a better place right now?
Lakers at Grizzlies, 8pm: Heads up: the last three games between these teams in Memphis have been nail-biters. Also, Memphis has won the last two meetings between these two teams. Could be worth checking out.
Cadavers at Mavericks, 8:30pm: This game could be historical, record-breaking bawful. Why isn't it on national TV??? ABC, ESPN, TNT, and NBA TV, get your priorities straight!
Rockets at Nuggets, 9pm: Fun stat of the day: Denver is 28-6 when scoring at least 103 points, and 2-15 the rest of the time. Hey Rockets, just FYI, you might want to consider playing defense for a change tonight.
Bulls at Frail Blazers, 10pm: Word of warning: the Bulls do not fare well in trips to Portland. They've dropped 9 of 11 at the Rose Garden, and the Blazers have been putting up some nice offense the past few games. (Of course, playing against Cleveland will do that to you. Said Andre Miller: "You don't want to be the top headline: 'Streak ends to Portland Trail Blazers.' Guys took a little pride in that.")
Jazz at Kings, 10pm: Can someone please tell me what's going on with the Jazz? This team is just all over the map. Deron Williams is banged up and the entire team just looks like they don't want to be on the court. And yet they're still in much better shape than the Purple Paupers. Jerry Sloan FTW.