Pacers Heat Basketball
Don King at a Heat game? This seems appropriate

Dennis Rodman is really good at three things:
1) Rebounding
2) Being crazy
3) Receiving oral sex while conducting a radio interview.

Yes, there is an mp3 clip of this interview. It is amazing. Dennis gets interrupted mid-sentence by a woman's voice and giggling, the interview gets absolutely derailed, and comedic gold is delivered. One highlight:
Rodman: "What are you doing? What are you doing? (pause) This girl is really active. (laughing and mumbling) Oh my Lord she’s going at it right now dude. Whatever, go ahead.”
Interviewer: (Brief awkward pause) (laughs) "Dennis, you're a trip right now."
The interviewer sums it up well later: "This is exactly what I expected this to be." Rodman responds very well: "Life is awesome."

In less awesome news, NBA players' association executive director Billy Hunter said Monday he is "99 percent sure" there will be a lockout next summer...


Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Magic Spurs Basketball
Holy shit, the reboot of "Twins" looks awesome
(Caption via Czernobog)


Hornets Clippers Basketball
Even when winning, Vinny Del Negro still reeks of failure


Nuggets Warriors Basketball
Oh, what did we ever do without Birdman in our lives?


Nuggets Warriors Basketball
Nice to see the Warriors back on their usual path


Nationally Televised Games:
Bulls at Lakers, NBA TV, 10:30pm: The Lakers are leading the NBA at 112.5 points per game. I was unaware the Bulls' circus trip involved stepping in a time machine to go play the Showtime Lakers...

All The Other Games:
Cavaliers at Pacers, 7pm: The Pacers have fallen into the zig-zag pattern of win-loss-win-loss, etc. They just upset the hell out of the Heat, so I look forward to seeing them drop a load in their collective pants and lose this game by 20 points.

Hawks at Nyets, 7pm: Six game winning streak, then losing 6 of the next 8. I don't pretend to understand this Atlanta Hawks team, and I don't really plan on figuring them out before the end of the year. Nobody cares about Atlanta anyway -- just look at the people who play NBA 2K11 and which teams they use!

76ers at Wizards Generals, 7pm: I'm just going to quote BadDave here: "Is this not the absolute best bawful season we've had since bawful hit the air? It's a veritable cornucopia of terrible ball." And just think! We're still only in November!

Bobcraps at Knicks, 7:30pm: This just further supports BadDave's argument.

Pistons at Mavericks, 8:30pm: One team is good at defense, and the other is not. Go ahead and guess which one has a better record. (waits for answer) How did you know???

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34 Comments:
Blogger AnacondaHL said...
She might have been a stripper. I think I heard "say your name" "which name?"

Blogger Vincent said...
Don King is the man.... The Heat.. not so much... Magic vs. Heat Wednesday. If you hate the Heat, you gotta vote the Magic for the win! http://www.countdowntofailure.com/MiamiHeat2010/game/15. HEAT SUCK!

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Haters Gon Hate

...can't think of a better comeback :(

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Question about the Spurs: do you think they're making a legit run at the league's best record this year? Traditionally Popovich is a coach that does not care about the regular season, and is far more concerned with just resting his guys for the playoffs. However, due to the Spurs' slide toward irrelevancy the last couple years, I can't help but wonder if it's made Pop re-think his strategy.

Maybe he looks at the other great teams out there who are considered serious title threats and thinks his team might not be able to beat any of them without home court advantage in a 7 game series (or at least he might not think it wise for SA to beat the Lakers and then Boston/Miam/Orlando while doing so on the road). What do you think? San Antonio is a notorious slow-starting team, but this year they're off to the league's best record. Will Pop ease off the gas after the Spurs establish a great record for the first couple months of the season the way Doc Rivers has the last two years? Or is San Antonio really giving it all they've got for HCA throughout the playoffs?

If the Spurs are going for the league's best record, how realistic a shot do they have at getting it?

Blogger Dan B. said...
I do not believe Manu can stay healthy all year first of all. That will surely have an effect on their record. So no. I don't see them getting the league's best record based on that fact alone. I'm sure AnacondaHL can give us some more useful stats like what kind of schedule they have seen so far compared to other teams and so forth. But I hope the Spurs are for real. It would be great to see Duncan get another ring.

Blogger Evan said...
Poor Jeremy Lin...stuck on such a shitty team. I bet he's wanting out of his contract very badly.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
I think Pop is as surprised as anyone. He made a consciopus decision to have his team run more based on the understanding that they just can't defend like they used to, but I don't think even he expected his guys to find their groove so easily in the tweaked system. Are they legit? It all depends on their health, but I think they may well be.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
@Yams:

I think the fact that Manu is averaging more minutes than he has in the past five years even though we know he is an injury time bomb waiting to explode supports your hypothesis that Pop wants the best record.

Also, now that Tim Duncan seems to be more and more predisposed to turrible nights both in scoring and rebounding, Pop can't afford to take any team lightly.

With that said, I don't think the Spurs ever intentionally slacked/tanked/took nights off even when they were clearly capable of winning playoff games on the road (in '05, they were so good you felt like there WAS no home court advantage until they got to the Finals against Detroit).

Let's see where the Spurs are at the All-Star break. I think they will drop down to around 4th or 5th once teams start figuring out how to shut down their new and newly prominent/successful role players like Splitter, Jefferson (face it- he sucked last year but Pop finally has doing what he wants now), and Neal. For now, they're A) healthy, and B) showing a lot of teams new wrinkles that they didn't have last year.

Also: D. Blair = another great Spurs 2nd round pick. I simply can't hate this franchise anymore. They are just a machine and they pick players so wisely and run their organization so professionally. If they traded TP, I would buy a jersey and hop on their bandwagon immediately, if not sooner. Alas, I hate that guy, and cannot be a true fan...

Blogger Caleb Smith said...
Oh no you'll probably be raided by /b/tards now.

Blogger Sorbo said...
Favorite Rodman quote: "Life is Awesome, man. It's awesome!"

I watched a couple Spurs games, and the seem to win without much offensive contribution from Duncan (although defensively he's still does his thing). Maybe I'm just catching the games at the wrong times, but are my eyes right on this one?

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Note that I'm not questioning whether the Spurs are legit or not, I'm just questioning whether Pop is really making a run at the league's best record this year.

AK Dave - Pop definitely has intentionally slacked/tanked/took nights off in the past, lest you forget the game 2-3 years ago when he just decided to sit Duncan, Ginobili and Parker for the whole game simply because it was the second night of a back to back in Denver or Utah. Due to the altitude and timing, he called it a scheduling defeat or something and just refused to put his best team on the floor. Pop also has notoriously (and honorably, IMO) been a guy who will empty his bench really, really early in a loss. Traditionally if the Spurs get down by like 10-15 in the 4th quarter, Pop will pull his starters, even if there's still more than 5 minutes to go.

Pop definitely hasn't treated the regular season like every game counts for quite a while now, but in the last few years the Spurs have moved farther and farther away from being contenders. Maybe Pop now realizes that the Spurs simply don't have a realistic shot at winning it all this year if they're gonna have to go on the road through teams like Utah, N.O., Dallas or OKC just to get to the Lakers and then whomever comes out of the East. Maybe getting swept by the Suns last year shook him up as far as taking that approach.

It looks like the last time the Spurs started a season anywhere near this strong was back in 2007-08, when they were defending their last title. They began 12-2 that year, but then the next year they began 12-8, followed by starting 12-9 last year. They're definitely a team to keep an eye on.

Caleb Smith might be right. 4chan has been on a real warpath lately over how popular Rage Guy has become. Hopefully they're too busy going after Hot Topic to bother with this site.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Jeez, if plagiarism was a sport, Hot topic could plagiarize for earthe in the Galactic games.

I thought the whole Emily Strange business was bad, but apparently that's justtheir M.O.

Those guys are unbeleivable pricks.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Wild Yams- I remember Pop sitting his players late in the season, but there is a difference between resting players when your playoff fate is largely decided (who cares if you're 2nd or 3rd when you are most concerned with beating #1?), and taking losses intentionally early in the season. Pop may have done the former, but seldom, if ever, the latter.

Maybe it's just recall bias.

His teams' slow starts over the last few seasons were the result of injuries and the new-player-carousel. His resting of players toward the end of the season was, as you mentioned, done in the name of injury prevention.

Anyway, when I said they never "slacked/tanked/took nights off", I guess I didn't mean to include nights where you sit Tim Duncan because his joints are creaky and arthritic or Manu because his kamikaze style lends itself to frequent injuries.

I don't recall that Utah/Denver incident, but if my team was playing both of those teams back-to-back, and I was at all concerned about injuries, I would seriously consider doing the same. Also- since Pop hasn't faced a similar situation this year, we don't know if HE would do the same right now.

Sorbo- I watched the Spurs at home against the Cavs (don't ask why) the other night, and they were running offense through Duncan as usual, but he is passing more and shooting less. Also, he is playing less as the team tries to get Splitter into the mix. The concerning thing for Duncan is that his rebounding and defense are not what they used to be. In years' past, Duncan was a one-man-wrecking-crew in the paint. Now he can have those nights, but not every night.

Funny thing about that- He's still got to be the best big man in the game this side of Pau Gasol. (Yes- I'd take him over Superman)

Anonymous AK Dave said...
HEAT GET DAMP!!

(Does this make them "The Miami Moist"???)

Blogger Wild Yams said...
AK Dave - "there is a difference between resting players when your playoff fate is largely decided, and taking losses intentionally early in the season. Pop may have done the former, but seldom, if ever, the latter."

I don't know if you'd call February 3rd "early in the season" but it's certainly long before San Antonio's playoff fate was largely decided (hell, it was before the All Star break). In other words, sorry to break it to you, but yeah, that was recall bias on your part. Pop definitely sat his Big 3 because they were playing in Denver after playing the previous night in Golden State (a game that went to OT). He basically conceded the game, and not because his players were hurt (they all played over 30 minutes each in the following game). By throwing the game to the Nuggets that year, he also gave Denver the tiebreaker in the event that the teams had finished with the same record at the end of the season. Here's a couple articles you can read about the incident: link 1 and link 2.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Yams: I try not to let facts get in the way of a good story :)

Blogger LotharBot said...
Over the first 4:27 of the Pistons-Mavs game, the Pistons starters have combined to shoot 0-5, with 1 rebound and 2 turnovers, and are trailing 11-0.

At this point, the entire Pistons *team* qualifies for a 2:1 Voskuhl. Take away Tayshaun Prince and his rebound, and the other 4 Pistons players have a combined Suck Differential of +6.

Indeed, this is "the absolute best bawful season we've had since bawful hit the air". (Can we abbreviate that TABBSWHSBHTA?)

Blogger BadDave said...
It would make Miami a Moist Heat.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
AK Dave - You live in Alaska, so as far as I'm concerned, no matter what, you win :)

Blogger LotharBot said...
Evan Turner with the clutch FT for the Wiz tonight. Same as Ariza's clutch FT for the Clippers last night.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
The Nyets beat the Hawks. Wasn't it just like a week ago that Atlanta was one of the last three unbeaten teams left? Now they're only a game over .500. I can't wait to see Mr. Bawful pound on the Dirty Birds tomorrow after this game :)

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Anderson Varejao: You've been PWNED BY JOSH MCROBERTS

This has to be the low point of his (or anyone's) NBA career.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Javale McGee is quietly having a breakout season.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
AK Dave, did you forget what Wade did to him last year on national TV? Varejao and Timofey Mozgov should rent a cabin together

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
Wow...totally impressed by Derrick Rose. Some of those reverse layups tonight were insane. As for the Spurs resting their stars vs Denver, it's a virtually guaranteed loss when a road team plays on the Pacific Coast the first night and then at Denver on the second night of a back-to-back. You lose one hour when you go from the Pacific to the Mountain time zones, and the Denver airport is about 45 minutes from the downtown hotels, so teams usually get to their hotels between 4:00 and 5:00 in the morning. Then there is the altitude adjustment, so it does indeed become a "scheduled loss."

Anonymous Eric said...
Man, I'm betting the Bulls' office are hitting themselves after the rally Brown delivered tonight.

The AP recap was gold:

"Shannon Brown(notes) tried not to take it personally when his hometown team showed no real interest in him last summer during free agency.

The Chicago Bulls probably wish they had picked up the phone after watching the Lakers’ dynamic backup step in front of Kobe Bryant to help beat them."

Anonymous allison said...
Word choice fail from Nets-Hawks recap on Yahoo (http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/recap?gid=2010112317):

The erection of steel started at the Barclays Center at Atlantic Yards in Brooklyn on Tuesday.

There's *got* to be a better way to put that...

Blogger Wild Yams said...
This is awesome. Of course, what isn't awesome when it's making fun of Sasha Vujacic?

Anonymous RRR said...
"NBA players' association executive director Billy Hunter said Monday he is "99 percent sure" there will be a lockout next summer."

I shudder at the thought!

How about a post AllStar break with a FAN inspired lock out first? Anybody think that might jump-start some chat between the haves and the those that provide it to them?

One thing that will get EVERYBODY'S attention will be empty seats. Not even TV can fake that scenario, though they try at times.

I think that will let both sides know who is paying for all this great entertainment! Sterns take some notes.... YOUR reffs are still Stupit!

Blogger Wild Yams said...

Anonymous Stockton said...
Heat need inside presence...

Ostertag wants a comeback...

Need to say more?

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Check out Peja's interview from the first practice in Toronto (You don't have to watch the whole thing):

http://www.nba.com/raptors/video/2010/11/23/RWEB101123STOJAKOVICflv-1476769.flv

I swear the dude's reading cliches off a mental, and possibly actual, cue card.

Blogger Bing said...
Who is doing commentary in LA now? Dull and duller

Anonymous Czernobog said...
OK, Now I can't help but think of what use Maria would make of the term "thingamabob."

And of course I had to share my pain.

captcha: pricka.

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