wiz sad bench and yawn
Want a picture that tells you everything you need to know about
the Washington Wizards Generals? Well, here you go.

The Washington Wizards Generals: I'm not going to sugarcoat this: The Wizards Generals got their asses kicked so hard that Nike could use their butts as shoe molds. I've seen coffee shop floor mats with fewer footprints on them. Based on what I witnessed last night, this Generals squad could give "roll over and die" lessons to Vince Carter...who was in his standard "I'm great in nearly meaningless regular season games against crap teams" mode (18 points, 8-for-12, 5 boards).

Unlike the Celtics, the Magic apparently take lesser teams pretty seriously. To wit: Washington shot 37 percent (compared to Orlando's 55 percent), got outrebounded 53-25 (including 11-3 on the offensive glass) and was outscored 56-28 in the colored rectangle.

The Magic led by as many as 35 points before settling for a 112-83 win. Now imagine how lopsided the final score would have been if Orlando hadn't missed 14 free throws and given up 29 points of 21 turnovers.

Dwight Howard's foul shooting: The line: 9-for-19. Roughly the same number most guys in my pickup league could hit by accident.

John Wall: As Basketbawful reader LotharBot pointed out, Wall had a Calvin Murphy in his debut with 14 points and 9 assists. Sure, a lot of those points and assists were racked up during garbage time, but it's still a decent debut. Right? I mean, check out this killer crossover:


I'll say this much: The kid's a shooter. And by "shooter" I don't mean that Wall provides consistent, high-percentage, long-range jump shooting. I mean he apparently loves shooting the Eddy Curry loves Twinkies. Wall jacked up 11 of his team's first 24 shot attempts. He it three of 'em. Wall -- who, I should remind you, is Washington's starting point guard -- finished 6-for-19 on a night in which none of his teammates attempted more than nine shots.

The best part? Wall's first NBA points came off a goal tend by Brandon Bass.

But hey, I guess that's what happens when rookies are mentored by Gilbert Arenas. Speaking of which...

Gilbert Arenas: After missing most of the past three seasons due to injury and suspension, Mr. "I signed a contract for only $111 million to help my team" Arenas missed the game with strained blah blah blah in his blah blah blah. Does it really matter what's wrong with Gil this time? His contract was a bigger waste of time and money than Eddy Curry's copy of P90X.

Andray Blatche: Last year's late-season fantasy stud was a fantasy turd in his season debut: 6 points on 2-for-9 shooting to go with 2 boards, 2 dimes, a steal, 2 turnovers and 4 fouls. Man, I sure hope nobody around here has Blatche on their fantasy team...

Jason Williams: William's performance last night is forcing me to seriously consider giving out a "Worst Player of the Night" award in these posts. His line: 8 minutes, zero points, zero rebounds, 1 assist, zero steals, zero blocked shots, 3 turnovers, 1 personal foul, 2 technical fouls, 1 automatic ejection.

Of course, he still had a better plus-minus score (-2) than John Wall (-31).

John Wall, quote machine, Part 1: "It was tough. It's really telling me what I need to work on, but I already know."

John Wall, quote machine, Part 2: "But as a team aspect, we have a lot we need to work on."

Marcin Gortat, mildly broken English quote machine: "Honestly, I'm sick of listening every hour about Miami -- Miami that, how great they are, how big they are, what kind of record they gonna have. I get every day interviews back in Poland, people calling me about Miami, Miami, what you think about Miami? What you think about Big Three? I'm going to say the same thing: they are a great team, they have three superstars, they got a couple good role players on the team. They looking good on the paper, but they got to start winning."

Stan Van Gundy, quote machine: "You guys can decide what's a big game and what's not. If they give me two wins for tomorrow night, then it's a big game. I'm not big on the human-interest stories."

The Utah Jazz: Oh dear God. After receiving the scorched earth treatment in their season-opening 110-88 loss to Nuggets in Denver, the Jazz came home and got donkey-punched 110-94 by the Work-in-Progress Suns.

It's enough to make John Stockton's gonads shrivel up in his short-shorts.

The sad part of this loss is that Utah is HUGE compared to Phoenix. Hence the stat-paddery by Paul Milsap (19 points, 13 rebounds) and Al Jefferson (20 points, 9 boards). But the Jazz pulled down only one more total rebound and their Offensive Rebound Percentage (30.4) was barely better than the Suns' (27.9). Shooting 42 percent from the field and 3-for-13 on threes didn't help either.

Oh, and then there was the transition D, which gave up 20 fast break points.


This team definitely hasn't gelled yet. In fact, they're more of a gritty paste.

Deron Williams: Look, I'm a big Deron Williams fan. I really am. But I can't stop myself from reminding everybody that he proclaimed himself the best point guard in the league last season. And we all remember what that did for Stephon Marbury's career, don't we?

Anyway, Williams was crap in Utah's season opener (3-for-10, 6 assists, 4 turnovers, 4 fouls) and he was crappity crap last night: 13 points on 3-for-12 shooting, 6 assists, 3 turnovers, 5 fouls and a plus-minus score of -16. The only Jazz player with a worse plus-minus was freaking Gordon Hayward (-17).

The obvious lesson: Never proclaim yourself the best [whatever] in the league.

Raja Bell: The Jazz signed Bell to (partially) replace Kyle Korver's shooting. Well, that wasn't happening last night, as Bell missed nine of his 12 shot attempts and went 1-for-5 from downtown.

Steve Nash, captain obvious: "Hakim [Warrick] was great on the glass and hustled. He finished and got to the line. He did a lot of little things that matter. But he also scored, and when he can do that, it makes us a better team."

So when a teammate can score, it makes you a better team? It's like Nash just gave my brain an assist. Thanks, Steve!

Steve Nash, the voice of realism: "We haven't got the chemistry yet and there are no shortcuts. It just takes time. You got to find the understanding and be unselfish and conscious of the other players on the team. But there is no easy formula."

In keeping with the recent overreactions to Nash quotes: STEVE NASH SAYS SUNS HAVE NO CHEMISTRY!!!!

Paul Milsap, quote machine, Part 1: "Things are not going our way."

Paul Milsap, quote machine, Part 2: "We've got to continue to stay with it. I mean we've got to continue to get better."

Paul Milsap, quote machine, Part 3: "We got punched in the mouth twice in our first two games."

Lacktion report: Chris had an easy but fulfilling night of lacktion reporting:

Bullets-Magic: Hilton Armstrong makes his first reservation in the lacktion ledger by countering one successful charity stripe shot (and two assists) in 11:14 with 5 fouls and two giveaways for a 7:3 Voskuhl. Hamady N'Diaye armed himself with a pair of fouls in 3:40 for his first ever suck differential, a +2 that also counted as a 2:0 Voskuhl!

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48 Comments:
Blogger AnacondaHL said...
"Man, I sure hope nobody around here has Blatche on their fantasy team..."

Ughhhhhhh. Andray Blatche is the new Elton Brand. I hate the middle draft rounds.

Also, the reason why I'm so high on the Suns' chances? Videos like this. JMZ IS BACK BABY (Nash's shoes rule Suns rule)

Blogger BadDave said...
Did you have to show Kirk in his emotional nadir while pondering his new life with the Generals? I felt like I should do what's best for him and give him the Old Yeller treatment.

Blogger Catfish Hunter said...
It's just come to my attention that Mario West is a member of the Boston Celtics for this season. I think this deserves it's own special post. Or maybe consideration for "championship piggybacking".

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Wait, Wall is a volume shooter, but there was no word on either of your blogs about Roze's 12-31 performance the night before? How does that work?

Blogger Dan B. said...
Catfish Hunter -- Sadly, Mario West was waived by the Celtics after preseason. :(

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Wait, Wall is a volume shooter, but there was no word on either of your blogs about Roze's 12-31 performance the night before? How does that work?

Rose's shot-jackery has terrified me. So I'm treating it the same way I treat the monster under my bed: By ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist.

If it happens again against the Pistons on Saturday, I will officially bug the hell out.

Anonymous Heretic said...
I can understand Rose's issue, no one else on the bulls team can score. Unless you count Deng's brilliant contested long twos.

I'm pretty sure once Boozer has been stitched back together (human centipede style) then Rose's shot attempts will go down. The problem is till then I fully expect Rose to keep chucking up shots as he channels Eddie House.

Anonymous Barry said...
Is there no way we can hire Mario West to do some guest-blogging on this site? Who better than one of the original masters of lacktion and Super Mario's to give us the low-down on the dark bawful underbelly of the NBA?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
The announcers last night kept insisting that an arbitrary 10 3pt made by the Suns would be a key to victory. I'm sure this was mostly Reggie's babbling, but I looked it up anyways.

In the 2nd coming of Nash era Suns (2004-05 to now), Suns have had 209 games with 10+ 3's made, at a record of 157-52 (75.1%). Even better, when they keep their opponents to 110 pts or less, that record jumps to 123-12 (91.1%) and even more arbitrary 100 pts or less, to 68-3 (95.8%).

If Grant Hill could just trust his corner 3 more instead of giving up the wide open shot and running into Fat Fesenko (or get tired at the end of the season and let Dudley start), and Hedo/Lopez Warrick/Frye really does give the best frontcourt results, I'll be feeling good about the team.

Anonymous Stockton said...
Jazz's problem is just one: Williams is playing bad!!

Deron is the team's best player, and any team suffers when his best man it playing like ####. If Nash was as clumsy last night as Williams was, the Suns would never win.

The undefeated preseason didn't help much either. Some were thinking the job of gelling the team was done, and it's not! New players, new roles... it takes time. And hard losses.

Well, 80-2 is a nice record, anyway...

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Stockton - "If Nash was as clumsy last night as Williams was, the Suns would never win."

Back in the SSOL + Barbosa backup days, yes. But now, a year after Dragic's breakout, the above statement is not true anymore. On those nights where Nash is shooting poor with high TOs, Dragic is fully capable of closing out the 3rd + playing the whole 4th quarter.

But you were right on Deron, he looked bad. Several times the Jazz cleared out on iso when Nash was on him, and he was just standing beyond the arc, looking around to force a pass. He could have just been aggressive and blown by Nash, but I'm sure Sloan would have yelled at him or something. Something's got to give, and hopefully for the sake of my fantasy team, Deron learns to go beast-mode every game by the end of the season.

Finally, Millsap was the only frontcourt force. Al Jef shot 8-18 from the field, which would have been way better if he didn't go 1-6 from outside.

Blogger Sorbo said...
That video might be the worst sequence of the season: airball, trot back on defense, watch Steve Nash pass, watch Richardson dunk it.

I can't tell if the guy behind Hinrich is singing or if he just got punched in the nuts.

Blogger chris said...
Barry:

Seriously, if Mario West could write a regular feature on lacktivity here, the awesome meter of this site would rise higher than Antoine Walker's debt!

Anonymous Marc d. said...
Love the Worst Player of the Night idea!

And, of course, the choice should always be made according to the lucky winner's salary.

Anonymous Hellshocked said...
I haven't watched nearly as many Bulls games as Mr. Bawful, but saying that Rose only jacks shots because nobody else on the team can score is misleading. As talented as he is, the guy doesn't have great court vision. He is very unselfish, don't get me wrong, but he isn't someone who just automatically makes his teammates better by his very presence on the court. Guys like Nash don't just give the ball to the right guy in the right place at the right time but they also spoon feed easy scores to guys who are having off nights and know not only how the defense is going to react but how his teammates will react in turn in order to better provide them with scoring opportunities. That video of Wall's crossover and assist is an example of a kind of pass I don't see all that often from Rose. I like the kid, but this combined with his defense and his maddening aversion to contact, I'm still not sold on him.

Orlando vs Miami tonight. That's gonna be a big game for both teams. It should answer the question of whether Quentin Richardson is the team's best post plater or if Dwight actually picked up a counter move or two from Hakeem.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Dwight did pick up his off the glass shot at least.

Blogger Cortez said...
"Right? I mean, check out this killer crossover:"

That move wasn't that sweet. It was caused by Duhon's "magnificent" turn to sprint (for no reason) defense. The bad D freed him up, not the crossover.

However, he did have the frame of mind to recognize the wildly out of position defender in the first place.

But what do I know? I'm just a hater.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Now I'm wondering if Rose's shot selection can somehow be represented in Halloween costume form.

As for teammates - I think even without Boozer he still has more talent around him than Wall.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
I haven't watched nearly as many Bulls games as Mr. Bawful, but saying that Rose only jacks shots because nobody else on the team can score is misleading. As talented as he is, the guy doesn't have great court vision. He is very unselfish, don't get me wrong, but he isn't someone who just automatically makes his teammates better by his very presence on the court. Guys like Nash don't just give the ball to the right guy in the right place at the right time but they also spoon feed easy scores to guys who are having off nights and know not only how the defense is going to react but how his teammates will react in turn in order to better provide them with scoring opportunities. That video of Wall's crossover and assist is an example of a kind of pass I don't see all that often from Rose. I like the kid, but this combined with his defense and his maddening aversion to contact, I'm still not sold on him.

Unfortunately, your assessment is spot on.

My biggest fear is that Rose will always be a second-tier star because he has been programmed to think score first. As you say, his court vision is lacking. He just doesn't have that Spidey sense the great PGs have. He's more suited for the two spot, but he's a little undersized for it and doesn't yet have three-point range.

Anonymous Silvio said...
The worst thing about Generals (particularly Wall) is complete lack of a sense of urgency. Always same game plan, no matter if it is -10 or -20, -30. One would except some kind of no-huddle offense being down a lot, but no. It is too early to declare fail, Magic is tough defense, we must first see Wall against softer defenses ... but so far ... not good.

At the end of the game, Saunders and van Gundy waving to each other, both too easygoing to approach for a handshake.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
That move wasn't that sweet. It was caused by Duhon's "magnificent" turn to sprint (for no reason) defense. The bad D freed him up, not the crossover.

However, he did have the frame of mind to recognize the wildly out of position defender in the first place.


Huh. Upon further review, you may be right.

Anonymous PK said...
Steve Nash, captain obvious: "Hakim [Warrick] was great on the glass and hustled. He finished and got to the line. He did a lot of little things that matter. But he also scored, and when he can do that, it makes us a better team."

So when a teammate can score, it makes you a better team? It's like Nash just gave my brain an assist. Thanks, Steve! - that only proves you did not get what he was talking about...and probably means you could not catch a pass from Steve even if it hit you in the head...
Look, I really like to read your awful posts, but try not to make sarcastic remarks out of nothing. Just sayin'....

Blogger Basketbawful said...
that only proves you did not get what he was talking about...and probably means you could not catch a pass from Steve even if it hit you in the head...
Look, I really like to read your awful posts, but try not to make sarcastic remarks out of nothing. Just sayin'....


Seriously? I mean...seriously?

Anonymous Heretic said...
Rose is still very young, he's obviously a scoring point guard but I'm betting if he's surrounded by solid role players, his court vision would improve dramatically. Right now the problem I see is him dishing it to Noah, Deng and co then watch them:

A) Fuck up the play
B) Pass it right back to him

If this happens night in and out he'll develop the Kobe Bryant syndrome of "Fuck you guys I'll do it myself". It also doesn't help that they're a jump shooting team with sloppy ball movement.

Word verifiction: bronscro
Definition: What lebron calls his scrotum

Anonymous JJ said...
I predict that next pearl of wisdom from Nash is going to be, "When our shots are falling, we are a tough team to beat."

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Bawful - Seriously. He said that proves it! You can't fight logic like that!

Anonymous AK Dave said...
@PK: Hi! Welcome to Earth. On this planet, we "humans" like to express what we call "humor." "Humor" can manifest in may ways, including, but not limited to sarcasm, overstatement, understatement, play-on-words, or irony.

As you interact with humans on your tour, please be careful not to make yourself out to look like a "douchebag" by assuming that a human is in fact serious when he is merely being humorous.

Thanks and have a great day!

@BadDave: I think the Generals had a really tough first game draw: @ Orlando, but my early, guarded enthusiasm balloon for the Wiz was utterly popped last night. And shame on me for actually thinking that Arenas might show up AT ALL this season. Sraight up fuck that guy. It sucks for Hinrich because he's surrounded by children, volume shooters, matador defenders, and gunslingers. RIP, Captain Kirk...

Blogger Ultra-Misanthrope said...
Worst Player of the Night sounds like a fantastic idea.

Blogger Jesse said...
I keep saying that Childress looks like Marion - 1 and Warrick looks like Amare - 1.

I expect a big year from Warrick, and possibly Childress due to the "Nash Factor". With Dragic and Dudley coming along nicely, our bench is probably scarier for most teams than the starters.

Obviously this isn't "WotN", but it's worth the view: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iarm6tCYu3c

I'd also like to point out that Warrick had 18 and 11 last night and in his first game, Amare had 19 and 10. Of course Amare was one TO away from a Triple Bumble.

I'm not saying Warrick will replace Amare at all. I just think he's going to surprise people, and the Suns aren't in as bad of a place as people seem to think.

* I reserve the right to change this comment section after tonight's Lakers game.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Seriously. He said that proves it! You can't fight logic like that!

Nope. I was introduced to logic's pimp hand right there.

I'm not saying Warrick will replace Amare at all. I just think he's going to surprise people, and the Suns aren't in as bad of a place as people seem to think.

* I reserve the right to change this comment section after tonight's Lakers game.


Do I think Nash will make delicious pudding out of the feces he's been handed by Robert Sarver? Yes. Do I think it will happen by tonight? No. And my tingling Spider-Sense tells me that a certain commenter/contributor whose name rhymes with "Mild Spams" is waiting, cat-like, to pounce on a Suns fail against the Lakers.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
@Jesse:

I agree in part with your assessment: Warrick seems more similar to Shawn Marion than he does to Amar''''''''e. Both Warrick and Marion are (were?) elite athletes. Both are also too small to play PF. Both are good playing off the ball and can't create on their own. Neither has much of a post game. Neither has enough bulk to play defense against real players in the post.

Nash is definitely going to make Warrick, like Marion, look better than he really is.

Blogger Sos said...
3 Minute Heavy metal tribute to Greg Oden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qd-m1Ju24g&feature=player_embedded

Thank you ball don't lie!

Anonymous Bryan said...
"I can understand Rose's issue, no one else on the bulls team can score. Unless you count Deng's brilliant contested long twos."

In Wall's defense, no one else on the Wizards looked like they could score last night either. Sometimes i was wondering what kind of offense they were running. It was hard to watch. It was almost like Wall had to shoot 19 times because his man was playing 5 feet off of him and that was the best shot the Wiz could find.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Man, I'm taking a beating around here with your post and comments, Mr. Bawful. Not to worry, if the Lakers win tonight I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it, nor will I if they lose. One should never read much into any NBA game that takes place in October. BTW, I just found out I'm gonna have tickets for the Lakers-Celtics game out here in January. How stoked am I? :)

Anonymous Karc said...
Jason Williams is suspended for tonight's game against the Heat for bumping the ref after getting tossed last night.

Let's face it, based on his awful stat line last night, this is a good thing.

Blogger Dan B. said...
BTW, I just found out I'm gonna have tickets for the Lakers-Celtics game out here in January. How stoked am I? :)

(furrows brow)

You bastard.

Anonymous Hellshocked said...
@Heretic:

I'm really not trying to hate on Rose, because I do like him. He IS unselfish (an honest rarity in an NBA star), humble and very skilled. His court vision and situational awareness aren't great though. This doesn't mean they are terrible or even deficient, but they aren't very above average. A great point guard shouldn't always rely on other players to put themselves in positions to score before giving them the ball, he should create situations on the floor that put them in positon. Look at a guy like Jason Kidd. He makes bad players better almost against their will. He forces them to run themselves into easy fast break points, he serves them gimmies up on a platter and he always does what is best for the team as a whole. An involved Deng is better for the team than a listless one who isn't shooting. Even if he shoots 3-10 he will be more enthusiastic on defense, will cut harder to the hoop, draw fouls, etc. As great as Rose can be, he doesn't do this. Not consistently anyways. He flirts with it at times but he doesn't always look like he is truly in charge out there and orchestrating what his team does.

It isn't because he's a scoring point guard. We all know he isn't Stockton. His vision and inexplicable aversion to drawing fouls though are limiting him from being the very best player he could be: a Kevin Johnson type minus the injuries. He can still get there, and I hope he does, but right now I'm still not on the budding superstar bandwagon.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
D Rose got to where he is because he's FAAA-AAAAAAST

Anonymous PK said...
It makes me wonder why you haven't approved my previous comment...wait, was it because it was critical about your writing? No...that could never happen...right? Or could it...

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
@PK

Your previous comment was approved, troll. I wonder why you couldn't figure that out.. wait, is it because you're a mentally retarded, barely literate asshole?

Wait, no, that could never happen, you're clearly a swell guy with lots of interesting and witty things to add to the conversation here...

Or could it?!?

Blogger lordhenry said...
"Do I think Nash will make delicious pudding out of the feces he's been handed by Robert Sarver? Yes. Do I think it will happen by tonight? No. And my tingling Spider-Sense tells me that a certain commenter/contributor whose name rhymes with "Mild Spams" is waiting, cat-like, to pounce on a Suns fail against the Lakers."

This is probably true, not that I blame him. Why does everyone think the suns will suck? I think they could do just about the same without Amare. Amare does not block, does not rebound at a high rate, and plays defense with a red cape. I think the Suns and Nash will be better off with a rotation of guys who may not be as good as Amare, but will rebound and play defense in the paint, which they have missed for almost the entire Nash era. And they have a nice bench, with a good point guard.

Blogger lordhenry said...
On a side note, the rivalry between Goran Dragic and Sasha Vujacic reminds me of the old story about achilles: Simply, Achilles was told by the gods that he could live a long life as a simple man, or have glory forever if he killed Hector in single combat. The drawback? If he lived as a simple farmer, nobody would ever remember him while in the latter case, he would die before ever being able to taste any of his glory.

Basically, the Slovenian gods told Sasha he could either have the trappings of greatness or he could actually BE great. Sasha chose the appearance of being great, and the gods gave Dragic all the skills, while Sasha has two rings, and a beautiful wife who will always be the better athlete than Sasha is.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
lordhenry - Age, and questionable offseason moves. Outsiders don't appreciate the chemistry and health the Suns have, so thus everyone underestimates them (again).

Blogger lordhenry said...
I get the suns only go as far as Nash takes them, but it seems Goran Dragic's play is a little more polished than it was during the playoffs. Maybe Steve is passing some of his impeccable court-vision and skills to the younger Dragic? And the Suns have a great bench, which the poor Jazz found out last night.
Sometimes, it is more important to have a solid TEAM than it is to have a couple of nice pieces. Nash creates that team dynamic with his demeanor, cheering on Dragic from the bench, and being very involved with the rest of the team.

$hit, is Nash the Brett Farve of the NBA?!

Forget I said that.

Anonymous SnakeEyes said...
"Does it really matter what's wrong with Gil this time? His contract was a bigger waste of time and money than Eddy Curry's copy of P90X." LMAOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG THAT"s FUNNY!!!!!

Anonymous PK said...
@Basketbawful: sorry, didn't see my comment posted. Nice reply though
@The Other Chris: glad I could help you out with posting that extremely smart and clearly Harvard-level style comment. I'll try to follow your swell and interesting posts - maybe I'll be able to learn something from your witty writing...

Blogger Basketbawful said...
It makes me wonder why you haven't approved my previous comment...wait, was it because it was critical about your writing? No...that could never happen...right? Or could it...

Fail.

sorry, didn't see my comment posted. Nice reply though

No offense. I'm sure your criticisms are very biting to some people. But let's face it, I've received comments and e-mails openly wishing for me to die or requesting that I commit suicide. One comment from a dude who didn't like one thing I had to say barely registers as a weak blip on my Me Hater radar. But I appreciate your input, and, as AK Dave said, I will continue to provide my Earth humor on a daily basis. Well, Monday through Friday, anyway.

Blogger lordhenry said...
"BTW, I just found out I'm gonna have tickets for the Lakers-Celtics game out here in January. How stoked am I? :)"

Damn, that's gonna be good.

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