The first pilot season of the Basketbawful Fantasy League has begun! Sorry for jumping intbetween the Division previews, but the results had to be posted somewhere, and I was too lazy to finish them until yesterday. As a note, we agreed to expand our league to 11 categories, including PFs and TECHs. For bonus hilarious effect, but probably more out of general apathy, 6 managers let Autopick decide their fate.
Black Belt in Crotty, Epitome of Sadness, Purple Paupers (chris!), Scrappy Coco, Stockton to Ostertag, and Zombie KY Colonels (Dan B!) all couldn't make it. I'll highlight in red picks I thought were
crappy, and highlight in green picks I thought were
picks I was jealous of or wanted for myself.
Only one major surprise here, which is obviously Rose at the 3rd pick. I thought it was an Autopick error, but in hindsight, it started a trend which will become clear shortly. LeBron dropping to 5 despite his absurdly low PFs and all around game was the steal of the round. And personally I don't like seeing Danny Granger fall this low, but lots of opinions vary on that.
I didn't like Bosh this early, but maybe his low PFs and all around numbers explain the pick. Dwight Howard Autopicked here is awful, and will be killer in FT%, TO, PF, and TECH. Tyreke this early is not only awful Kahn-style Autopicking (vacuuming up PGs), but didn't even give chris a chance to draft his team's rising young star! Again, Scrappy Coco with the steal, somehow getting an incredible FT punting team started.
Danza rebounds with a mini steal, followed by a stream of more Kahn Autopicks. I don't like Westbrook or Wall this high, and Rondo's Jump Shot's decision to reach for Love was curious. He got Z-Bo in the next round anyways, but still that could have been a better pick, if only for Free Mario to have the Gay-Love combo.
"Fuck it, I'm taking the Italians." Also, we're lucky Autopick sucks, as Scrappy passed on Marc Gasol for a pretty damn ultimate FT punt team. Bogut was a little early too, as you can see in the next round, drafting injurious big men was apparently Oliver Thriller's gameplan. Dan B gets the rookie shaft again.
Way too early for Griffin. I dunno if this was the right round to be reaching for injured stars to help the March/April games, so I'm just going to label them all red and let Lady Luck sort it out.
I let the clock run down to 5 seconds or less on this one, as the crowd was egging me on to actually take Hedo, and I was considering it after Aaron Brooks was heartlessly stolen right before me. But alas, I chose my Arizona alum instead, drawing sighs of "ohh, so close!". I was considering grabbing Jeff Green this round too, and seeing him drop all the way to 11th pick was bittersweet. Another injurous center for Oliver Thriller, and honestly look at poor Dan B's team now.Lou Wolding
goes either way too early or way too late, whether you believe the hype of his 3-pt shot with his much improved teammates. As for me, I totally biff the pick, getting lured by the "best available" scent, but completely useless player for my team strategy. Pretty sad that I was even willing to take Ariza here.
Another biff. I really needed a backup point guard, and having forgot Jrue Holiday I went with the stack on 3pt and PTS. I mean, aside from that, look at everyone else drafted this round. Ugh. I'm just going to give every non-Hibbert Center a red tag because I'm more likely to be right than wrong. Vince gets a special purple tag because he's still a raptor in my heart. And also we just need to all watch this again, thank you Dan B
And there goes Lou right before my eyes. Here's hoping Morrow can up his steals totals this season! Maybe Okur could have fit my team better...
I got a lot of praise for snagging Batum this freaking late (110), I mean after all he's projected with a 2.8 V12 in SCHOENE, ranking him 42. Otherwise, this is getting pretty grim pretty quickly.
Yes, I was even waiting on Jose Calderon. Somehow Reggie Williams is stolen from me in every draft. I think too many people know how to sort by per-minute production. Evan Turner isn't even worth drafting, with his disappointing pre-season showing. I'm going to give myself a pat for stealing Amir "the replacement Bosh" Johnson, but I think he might single-handidly sink my PF category. Boris Diaw gets an F for Fat.
|1.||DeMar DeRozan (Tor - SG,SF)||Free Mario!|
|2.||Wilson Chandler (NY - SF,PF)||AHL's Hedo Nightmare|
|3.||Thaddeus Young (Phi - SF,PF)||Epitome of Sadness|
|4.||Rodrigue Beaubois (Dal - PG,SG)||Oliver Thriller|
|5.||Terrence Williams (NJ - SG,SF)||Stockton to Ostertag|
|6.||Tiago Splitter (SA - SF,PF,C)||Zombie KY Colonels|
|7.||Linas Kleiza (Tor - SG,SF)||Rondo's Jump Shot|
|8.||D.J. Augustin (Cha - PG)||Scrappy Coco|
|9.||Brad Miller (Hou - C)||Black Belt In Crotty|
|10.||Chris Andersen (Den - PF,C)||Tony Danza's Boshmen|
|11.||Luke Ridnour (Min - PG)||Purple Paupers|
|12.||Jason Thompson (Sac - PF,C)||Colostomy Bags|
As a recipient of the YES network on my standard cable, I can guarantee that Terrence Williams is straight up both awful in real life and fantasy. However, Wilson Chandler, while pretty horrible in person, is actually a quietly good defensive stats contributor, so I shall toot my own horn. My quest towards the punt assist team
turned out pretty successful, despite starting with Deron Williams.
This was the greatest draft round in the history of draft rounds. Just look at that Basketbawful masterpiece. We were all rooting for Free Mario to make an epic draft pick and boy did he deliver beautifully. I'm so proud of you guys.
Labels: anal rampage, fantasy sports, Tracy McGrady