Rondo
The reactions of the 6 people closest to the camera, from closest to furthest:
"OH!"
"OH!"
"OH!"
"OH!"
"Dude, that Laker girl is totally hot"
"Ooooh... Jumbotron..."

Speaking of Rajon Rondo, here's a little basketbawesome for you to read: Pat Forde -- formerly of my local Louisville Courier Journal newspaper -- breaks down Rajon Rondo's past and present with an excellent nine-page article.

Update! A late addition of footbawful too amazing to ignore: maple bars from gourmet doughnut shops are irresistable. Seriously, I would laugh and move on if this article was on The Onion or Sportspickle, but it's from the Associated Press. Unreal.

Yahoo! Sports' Johnny Ludden devoted an entire article to Ron-Ron's horrific possession in Game 2. Worth a read.

Desperate to remain relevant in The Summer of LeBron, the Miami Heat have unveiled their master plan to keep Dwyane Wade: a freaking billboard.
Hoping to re-sign Dwyane Wade when he enters free agency next month, the Heat has already extended the star guard a contract offer -- for all of South Florida to see.

The Heat took its "We Want Wade" recruiting campaign to new heights Monday when the team unveiled a billboard designed as a contract near Wade's neighborhood.
(And hey, speaking of contracts, check back in tomorrow afternoon for something so bawful it requires its own post)

One last non-basketball tidbit: According to an article posted by CNN, you can watch Darth Vader in Star Wars to learn more about mental illness. Additionally, you can watch Jar-Jar Binks to learn more about being a worthless sack of dog excrement that incites levels of hatred that cannot be equaled even by the Dark Side of the Force.

Worst of Game 2 in Pictures:

WTF Spanish Marshmallow
CAPTION THIS!
What's Pau Gasol pointing at?


Sheed and Terrell Owens
For some reason, Sheed and Terrell Owens hamming it up does not surprise me at all


whatisthisidonteven
If you can come up with any caption that makes this funnier than just the picture itself, you win... well, we can't give you anything, but we all win simply because this picture exists


OM NOM NOM NOM
Kobe is about to go all Pac-Man on Tony Allen's fingers


Andy Garcia
So, Andy Garcia, when's the Colonel Sanders bio-pic coming out?


Damn Sheed
"Damn Sheed, where the hell were you all season?"


ADAM MORRISON SIGHTING
Sad mustache is sad :(

NBA Finals - Game 3:
Lakers at Celtics - ABC, 9:00pm (Unless you're Evil Ted camping in the middle of absolute nowhere, then just pretend it isn't on TV)
Series tied at 1-1

Before we get to this preview, let's take a quick detour for a little nostalgia. See, it's impossible for me to see or hear "Lakers vs. Celtics" without immediately thinking about their duels in the 1980s. Likewise, it's impossible for me not to think about the old basketball video game Lakers vs. Celtics and the NBA Playoffs". I got it for Christmas when my parents got me a Sega Genesis, but my dad played it much more than I did. I was too busy playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and Mortal Kombat since those were the hot new games when I finally got my console. That being said, it was a totally awesome game, as you can see below:

Tom Chambers - UNSTOPPABLE BASKETBALL MACHINE

(Technically the game didn't even come out until the 80s were over, but since I was either in diapers or in kindergarten the vast majority of the time prior to 1990, just bear with me here for a minute.)

Now, things are a little different today. (NBA 2K10 has slightly more realism than this game, for example) However, we still have three constants that held true from that timeframe to today:
1) Lakers vs. Celtics is a huge moneymaker for the NBA
2) 2D Sonic the Hedgehog games kick ass while 3D Sonic games are highly prone to sucking
3) Referees will make questionable calls and fans will complain about it

Beyond that, I don't know how the rest of this series will play out, including this game. All I know is that defense will create offense (especially for the Celtics), and my knees are in better shape than KG's. And I can probably provide more effective minutes on a basketball court than Shelden Williams did in Game 2, which is the lowest blow I can possibly dish out.

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51 Comments:
Anonymous Karc said...
Statistically speaking, in the 2-3-2 format of the Finals, the winner of Game 3 of a 1-1 series has won the title all 10 times. Because the NBA needs to keep it interesting, when the Celtics win this game, the debate will be which record falls first, P-Jax's 47-0 record when winning game 1, or 10-0 after winning Game 3 of a 1-1 series.

Of course, if the Lakers win, all of the stats will favor them to win the series. Which will make the inevitable choke job and collapse all the more satisfying.

Anonymous Sorbo said...
This is not bawful related, but related to this post. The Wall Street Journal had an almost identical article today about movie characters and mental illnesses. But while the CNN article is from French researchers, WSJ took its story from reserachers studying something similar in the the good U.S. of fucking A.! (Sorry, overly patroitic due to preparation for the World Cup).

The USA researchers studied less nerdy characters like Willy Wonka, Tony Soprano, Winnie the Pooh, and that dude with the bowl haircut in "No Country for Old Men."

You can't find the article, because WSJ charges you to read it.

Blogger Dylan Murphy said...
I would put a different caption for the Sheed Allen picture: "Why are you speaking to me, Sheed?"

Anonymous Sorbo said...
I know this falls under FA/LBJ stories (which may need moratorium soon), but still, some good news for Clippers fans. Both of you.
http://sports.espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/news/story?id=5264616

Blogger Dan B. said...
Dylan Murphy -- Considering it's playoff time and the desire to win generally conquers all, I gave Ray Allen the benefit of the doubt.

Blogger LotharBot said...
what is Pau pointing at with a look of disgust on his face?

Ron Artest's Epic possession!

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Pau Gasol Caption:

"PULL MY FINGER- QUICK! IT'S COMING OUT!!"

Anonymous UpA said...
MAAAAAAN! my eyes are bleeding, thanks for that SORBO!! I JUST noticed ESPN has a "Countdown for FA" and a "LEBRON TRACKER"

How can you do this to us SORBO?!?!

Shame on you dude, that was gross.

Anonymous UpA said...
Caption on Gasol:

"Phil I swear my three point attempt wasn't as bad as this asshole's whole allucinating sequence" pointing out on Crazy pills.

for the "celebration" with Bynum

"Wonder twin powers ACTIVATE!" which would be lamer coming from a couple of 7 footers...

Blogger Dylan Murphy said...
Dan,

You're probably right. I just wouldn't blame Ray if he wasn't listening.

Anonymous Sorbo said...
Gasol/Bynum caption:

-"Quick! Deodorant check."

-"Does my mouth look like an armpit?"

-"This didn't seem so gay when we practiced it at my place."

-Bynum and Gasol do a Kupchak in honor of their GM. (Get it? Cup check? I need a rim shot on that one. http://instantrimshot.com/)

Anonymous Sorbo said...
@UpA

Wow! I didn't realize they had a Lebron tracker with a full website dedicated to it. Espn is officially US Weekly (ES Weekly?) until they pull this down.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Would somebody on the Celtics other than Rondo or Garnett hit a freaking shot? Please??? Thanks in advance.

PS -- it helps to get the ball past the front of the rim. Pierce and Sheed especially need to remember this.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
16 points by Rondo and Garnett, rest of team 0-13!

Wtf?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Caption for Gasol photo:

"Ball."

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Kobe looks like he wants the trophy more than anybody out there tonight.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This is absolutely painful to watch.
I'm seriously considering switching places with Dan B. right now, so i can sit in his tent far, far away from this...

Blogger Dan B. said...
Anon -- FYI, you don't want to switch places with me. I'm (unfortunately) watching the game too. Evil Ted's the one cut off from society right now.

Blogger Dooj said...
did sheed just shave his beard?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Could someone pls ask the lakers to do some transition on defense?

And... Looks that crazy pills is not on the rodman pedestal of wacko jacko anymore. Walton II is having huge minutes...

Blogger Will said...
Dan B.- good job on the pics/captions. The caption for the Ray Allen/Sheed pic is perfect.
As for the Pau pic, clearly he is poking the invisible Pilsbury Dough Boy.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Dan B.- good job on the pics/captions. The caption for the Ray Allen/Sheed pic is perfect.
Thanks.

As for the Pau pic, clearly he is poking the invisible Pilsbury Dough Boy.
Without thinking, I just made the Pillsbury Dough Boy "hoo hoo!" sound out loud. And now I feel really stupid for doing that.

Anonymous Karc said...
@Anonymous, Kobe is single-handily shooting Boston right back into the game. Every one of his bricks is a transition basket for the Celtics. When Pau gets the ball, it's a rhythm jumper by himself or an open look.

Hate to say it, but the way the Lakers were playing defense in the paint, they should be up 20 by now. But when they lose the game, it starts and ends because Kobe wanted to be mini-Jordan on the road.

Blogger jfefery said...
I hate Big Baby's faces, they disturb me a bit, but man he's been quite a force in this second half.

Fisher is putting up some important points too.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Looks like the NBA wants the Celtics to win. Rondo fouls Odom on a rebound and the Celtics get the ball. Awesome.

Blogger Adam said...
Still trying to write Fisher's epitaph, guys? He may not be as quick on the defensive end but every playoff season he's still there hitting the big shots.

Also, what kind of bullshit rule is it that a blatant Rondo foul goes uncalled just because they're reviewing an out of bounds play? Call the god damn foul.

I'd love it if Pierce's "We're not going back to LA" prediction is true, just not for the reason he expected.

Anonymous Nick said...
I like when the NBA world gets infatuated with Ray Allen, saying he's the best shooter since Lee Harvey Oswald, then he goes 0-13.

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
The most atrociously reffed game of the finals yet, and the money shot: under NBA review guidelines, you can review for possession, but you CAN'T review, or even take into account, if the player was fouled to gain possession!? By definition, that's literally insane!

I can't wait to see how the league tops itself in game 4.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think they can't call a foul when the subject of the review is who threw the ball out of bounds.

Anonymous Karc said...
@Anonymous and Adam - KG gave it right back with a totally dumb hit on Gasol after Ray Allen had an open path to the basket.

Seriously, Derek Fisher had some onions on the dagger layup. Went right at KG, Big Baby and Sheed, got the the layup and one. It's clear now that he was saving it for the playoffs.

Only really bonehead call was Paul Pierce getting his fifth 20 seconds into the fourth on a phantom foul that was clearly a make-up call for doing the same to Kobe in Game 2.

Seriously, though, Ray Ray going 0-12. That's bad. Would have been a blowout if Bryant wasn't such a gunslinger.

All the stats say that the Lakers are going to win now, I'm just waiting for the collapse...

Anonymous Sorbo said...
Was it me or did the replays kill all the Boston momentum?

Blogger Adam said...
Karc: Seriously, KG game to play tonight. Allen going that cold (I'm holding back with a rant on how he's just a totally one-dimensional player) was somewhat tempered by KG being hot for most of the game. He was really impressive after his pathetic game 2.

Anon: I know they can't, and I'm saying that's bullshit.

Blogger spongefrob said...
Captions:

Gasol pointing: "Hey, It's Colonel Sanders... sweeeet. Free Chicken!!"

Gasol and Bynum: "Yes Ahndroo! I will dance with you! We will dance the dance of the gimpy marshmallow! Ole!"

Bonus caption (for Andy Garcia/Col Sanders): "No free chicken for you!"

Blogger Rich Muhlach said...
So if the Lakers win the next two games in Boston, the Celtics wouldn't go back to LA like Paul Pierce proclaimed... right? WOW!!! He IS the motherfucking Truth!

Lakers in 5.

Anonymous TransINSANO said...
Let's calm down Lakers fans, LA isn't going to win three in a row in Boston any more than Boston was. If these games have taught us something, it's that anything can happen in this series.

Blogger Dooj said...
The story so far is the insane amount of effect the refs are having... Stupid foul trouble. I'm thinking it needs to get to the point of "call your own fouls". Get rid of refs entirely... We might actually get to watch a basketball game.

wv: coaringl - what Gasol and Bynum are doing in that picture

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anyone got a link to that god awful Artest play where he dribbled, and dribbled and dribbled and chucked up an off balance brick?

I'm a Lakers fan but that was some funny shit.

Blogger laurance said...
I just want to say that...can people finally stop dissing Fisher?

He has played against 3 of the top 4 point guards this post season and held his own, and Westbrook isn't a slouch either. Deron Williams is the self-proclaimed best pg in the game, and Fisher played decent defense on him.

Also, Glen Davis is playing out of his mind. He has pretty good footwork...and deceivingly athletic. I guess my image of him panting when he played UCLA in the Fina Four just changed.

And I also don't like Paul Pierce. He pouts a lot. And he says crazy things. I really hope he doesn't come back to L.A.

Refs are still bad.

Anonymous melon307 said...
quick note on miami's attempt to keep wade...there is tv ad airing during the playoffs where pat riley basically says they will do everything to keep wade so buy season tix while still can... wink wink*

Anonymous Geert said...
What a two game swing for Ray Allen. There should be a lacktion word for when a player sucks balls after a game in which he was awesome.

Blogger zyth said...
why,Jesus?why did you treat me like that?you made me a believer again with your water into wine magic trick, and now...you just fucked things up. also HOLY SHIT that boston has some pretty bawful defence.they surely deserve a nomination. why.why the fuck didnt they close down and try to kill fisher. why did they all decide to suddenly stop gently backpedalling when fisher was already going for the layup? why did the motherfucking truth decide it was ok to gently trot along,only to jump like a little ballerina thinking he might get a mental block?i hate you so much right now,paul.so much.

Anonymous Karc said...
@zyth, Ray Allen pulled a Luigi Mansion (disappointing Gamecube launch title after the awesome Super Mario 64 for the N64 launch). Apropos, too, he was shooting like he was trembling in a ghost house all night.

Blogger Dan B. said...
I just want to say that...can people finally stop dissing Fisher?

Only in regards to the postseason. It's quite possible he spent the entire regular season in a coma.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Uhh guys Fisher "went off" because the Celtics stopped guarding him. As pointed out by JVG and MJ, they didn't switch the 1/2 screens with him and Kobe, so Fish had open shots.

And yes that layup at the end of the game was an unbelievable lack of effort by the Celtics, and an unbelievable shot by Fish.

And, is anyone going to point out that the Mamba spent most of the game remorselessly chucking to the detriment of his team? No? K, just checking. Return to your regularly scheduled Kobe-fanboyism.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
zyth wins the Sad Drunk Post of the Season Award

Karc - BasketBawful insider info: When the brain trust (or lack thereof) of this site were discussing the breakdown of the Mario terms, such as <=1second (this became the Super Mario Galaxy) and 0.0 seconds, I was the only one that pulled for a "Luigi's Mansion" for the 0.0 second appearance. Eventually everyone agreed on simply "Luigi", but it was my fault for not pushing harder for the obscure videogame joke.

Blogger zyth said...
AnacondaHL, sadly i wasnt drunk. midday here. doesnt it annoy you tho? Allen is known as a hellishly intelligent person with a great work etic. i know i know, every shooter feels that he can hit the shot he needs to take, because ' confidence is key '. but enough is enough.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Karc and AnacondaHL -- I think you are two of the eight people in the world who are famliar with Luigi's Mansion. I'd never even heard of it until it appeared in the comments on this site.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Dan B - I even went to a Nintendo GameCube pre-release party, and got a free t-shirt! Luigi's Mansion was Nintendo's cute and failed attempt to launch a console without a leading Mario title. Luckily for them, Super Mario Sunshine was fucking fantastic and blew most memories of Luigi's Mansion out of the water (pun, heh), but for those of us that own the console, the taint is still there...

Blogger Ely said...
just had to hop on here and say I thoroughly enjoyed Luigi's Mansion. I don't need jumping to enjoy games, it was just a fun game.


related to basketball: Ray Allen D: terrible.

Blogger Chris said...
The Other Chris:
Here's what I said on Twitter last night:
"Is Kobe Bryant playing HORSE or a basketball game? Stop taking nothing but crazy shots!"

Anyways, I'm glad the Lakers won despite god awful offense (or was it Boston defense?) in quarters 2-4. Even when Kobe wasn't in the game or wasn't chucking crazy shots the rest of the Lakers would just sort of stand still or dribble around until they had to take a contested jump shot... usually out around the three point line.

P.S. The Celtics giving up on the Fisher lay-up in the 4th reminded me a lot of Artest's late game dribbling and three point exhibition at the end of game 2. Crushing for the fans of both teams.

Anonymous Sorbo said...
Can Ray Allen get two WotNs? One for his 0-13 and one for his 0-8. His threes were terrible, but his blown lay-ups were just as damaging.

Random note: Sasha Vujachick's may have had the most productive Mario in the history of bawful. Coming in cold and knocking down two clutch free throws.

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