Knee-Mac
So...McGrady's knees are already hurting after two games
and he may miss tonight's matchup in Boston. Shocking.

The Charlotte Bobcats: Chug, chug, chug, chug...can you hear that? It's the Clipper Train, baby! The Other L.A. Team is now 2-0 in their last two games. Who knew Drew Gooden and Steve Blake were the answers?

Well, okay, it helps to play a bad team (like the Kings) and then another squad that tends to dog it against "inferior" opponents (like the Bobcats). Remember: Charlotte has won three straight against the Cleveland Craboliers.

Said 'Cats coach Larry Brown: "Our biggest problem now is sometimes we don't realize that every game's a big game. We get up for certain games and not others. When you look at these teams that are winning a lot of games, they don't take nights off because their opponent is always bringing their A game. The good teams in this league have to play well every night because everybody's pointing to them. The teams that struggle don't realize that you have to play at a high level every night in order to be successful. And we haven't realized that yet."

Brown wasn't done: "I mean, who would have suspected us to beat Cleveland three straight? And last year, we beat the Lakers twice and still had a lot of bad losses. We have 27 games where we'll decide whether we deserve to be in the playoffs or not. So if we don't make it, it will be on us."

Larry is feeling pissy because after a 12-4 January, his Bobcats have gone 3-6 in January. What's more, 11 of their 28 defeats are against sub-.500 teams, which includes two losses against the 5-51 New Jersey Nyets, two losses to the Knicks, and losses to the Bucks, Pacers and Pistons.

Proof is in the pudding, and this is some poo pudding.

In all fairness to Charlotte, they were without three seven-footers -- Nazr Mohammed (back spasms), Tyson Chandler (sore left knee), and DeSagana Diop (sprained right knee) -- which might explain the 48-34 rebounding disadvantage. And on the bright side, if the Bobcats do end up making the playoffs, they're destined (read that: doomed) to be a low seed, which means they're probably end up playing the Crabs and Magic, which is a good thing since, in theory, they only get up for the bad teams.

Yeah, I know. I'm reaching.

Stephen Jackson: Captain Jack must have run into his own personal Davey Jones before the game, because he was turrible: 1-for-16, 5 turnovers, 6 fouls. Like I said a week or so ago, when Stephen Jackson is a team's second-most important player, that team is fundamentally flawed.

The Clippers' transition game: Did you know The Other L.A. Team's interim coach, Kim Hughes, is trying to implement an up-tempo offense? Well, he is. And yet the Clips had exactly zero fast break points last night. Way to get 'em runnin', Kim.

The Utah Jazz: The Mormon Musicians celebrated their 25-point comeback against the Frail Blazers in Portland on Sunday by losing to the Hawks in Utah on Monday. And get ready for this: it was the Atlanteans have won in Salt Lake City in 17 years. 17 years!!

I shit you not. The Hawks hadn't won in Utah since February 13, 1993, when The Human Highlight film dropped 43 points (15-for-25) in Atlanta's 121-112 win. (John Stockton led the Jazz with 32 points, 9 assists, 5 steals...and 8 turnovers. So close to a triple bumble!) That equates to a 15-game road losing streak to the Jazz.

Joe Johnson -- who knocked in 11 of his game-high 28 points in the decisive fourth quarter -- said: "It's about time. The last time our team won here, I was just a little kid watching Dominique and dreaming I might play in the NBA someday. ... The streak was brought to our attention before the game, so we wanted to come out early and establish ourselves. We wanted to make sure they knew it wasn't going to be the same type of game they are used to seeing out of us."

Utah's loss only adds credence to my "second night of back-to-backs" theory. Of course, the Jazz were also without their best player (Deron Williams) and (in theory) their best defender (Andre Kirilenko), the latter of which (along with the weary legs) could explain why the Hawks shot 54+ percent for the game. Plus, the Jazz just weren't crisp in the end game. Carlos Boozer followed up the previous game's Animal Style double-double (22 points, 23 boards) with a more modest double-double (12 points, 10 rebounds) plus a season-high 8 dimes. BUT...he couldn't hit down the stretch and bobbled a ball out of bounds in the final minute on a possession in which the Jazz could have tied the game.

Said Kyle Korver: "You could tell we played an overtime game last night. In the end, we couldn't make shots, and we couldn't get stops and Joe Johnson just played really, really well."

The Indiana Pacers: Chug, chug, chug, chug...can you hear that? It's the Mavs Train, baby! The Mavericks are now 4-0 with Brendan Haywood as their starting center. Who knew Haywood (13 points, 20 rebounds, 3 blocks) was the answer?

Of course, it always helps when you play the Pacers.

It was an ugly-ass game, tho'. Dallas shot 38 percent and Indy hit 36 percent. The teams also combined to go 7-for-37 from beyond the arc.

Said Mavs coach Rick Carlisle: "We played a sloppy game. The ball movement wasn't crisp, and we had questionable shot selection. Defensively, we had too many breakdowns. We have to get better."

Don't you just love it when the winning coach gets all grumpy about the way his team just won? Of course, it might have something to do with the fact that the Mavericks play the Lakers in Dallas on Wednesday. The way they played against the Pacers won't cut it against L.A. And I mean regardless of whether Kobe plays.

The New York Knicks: Well...huh. Maybe the Knicks should have traded for an old priest and a young priest before the deadline, because these dudes still have some bigtime demons to exorcise. But hey, everybody should have seen this coming, right? In New York's last game -- the first with their new players -- David Lee was fantastic, Eddie House scored a season-high, and Knee-Mac had his best game in a very long while. And the Bricks lost that one.

Things definitely de-improved last night.

At halftime, the Bricks celebrated the 40th anniversary of their 1970 NBA championship team. Willis Reed was there. Walt Frazier was there. It was good times...good times...

But not for the 2009-10 Knicks. They came out and scored only 26 points in the second half, finishing with a grisly 67 points on 33 percent shooting. It was New York's worst offensive output in more than two years. You know, back in the Isiah Thomas era. Man, it's a good thing the Knicks brought in Donnie Walsh and Mike D'Antoni!

"I don't want to make too many excuses," said Bricks coach Mike D'Antoni, who then went on to do just that, "but obviously we weren't familiar with what we're doing and with each other. The first night, we ran on a lot of adrenaline and kind of got us through. I just thought we just didn't really have a lot of pop down there. The ball didn't really move and stopped. Guys were hesitating. They seemed lost."

Isn't that how this team has seemed all season? I mean, weren't you guys 18-35 before the trades, Mike? And you guys were pretty familiar with each other, right? I mean...right?

And right on cue, Knee-Mac banged knees a couple times...and he might not play tonight in Boston. Well, that was fast. Said McGrady: "Hopefully it's not sore tomorrow," he said. "I may lace them up and play tomorrow, but we'll see."

Uh huh.

David Lee: Okay, seriously, I don't care about all his double-doubles and whatever. The dude got spit-roasted by Andy Bogut (24 points, 20 boards, 5 blocks). Maybe he's just been drinking too much of 'Antoni's poisoned Kool-Aid, but Lee plays no defense. None. Not even by accident. He's like a superhero who can become intangible to avoid contact with his enemies and then does it all the time.

The Chicago Bulls: Uh oh...


That's right. And the Bulls walked right into it. With little more than a halfhearted effort, Chicago built a 56-46 lead over the seemingly hapless Wizards Generals Bullets...and, frankly, it felt like the lead could have been 20. But it wasn't, and the Bulls paid for letting Washington hang around. Sure enough, the Bullets outscored Chicago 31-16 -- including a ball-busting 14-0 spurt -- in the third quarter as the Bulls shot 7-for-21 from the field.

From that point, Washington was in control. And you can lay a lot of the blame for that cruddy quarter at the sensible shoes of...

Vinny Del Negro: First off, here's what the Bulls managed to accomplish out of Vinny's well-concieved timeouts. Yes, that was sarcastic. Anyway: 1st timeout: Jannero Pargo turnover; 2nd timeout: Luol Deng made 16-footer; 3rd timeout: Kirk Hinrich missed 19-footer; 4th timeout: Rose made jumper (Hinrich assists); 5th timeout: Brad Miller missed thee-pointer; 6th timeout: Flip Murray missed three-pointer; 7th timeout: Miller missed three-pointer.

So to sum up: After seven called timeouts, the Bulls were 2-for-6 from the field (including 0-for-3 from downtown) with a turnover. And you'll notice every shot was a long jumper...which means that, coming out of their timeouts, the Bulls didn't get a single high-percentage shot.

You know what else was damning about those timeouts? Not a single one was called during Washington's 14-0 game-breaking run. As By The Horns reader Tony C. put it: "VDN's time out selection was also quite poor. Notice that when the Wzard's went on a 14-0 run, VDN sat with his hands under his ass. When the Bulls went on a (later) mini-run, Flip Saunders called an immediate time out to stop the momentum. This is coaching 101; why hasn't VDN figured it out yet?"

Good question.

Lacktion report: Chris celebrated Pebbles Flintstone's birthday the same way he always does: by reporting lacktion.

Bucks-Knicks: Toney Douglas can now party it up with the Dolans after a 3.5 trillion (3:31) investment matured!

Pacers-Mavs: Jose Juan Barea continues his streak of non-contribution with a stunning set of stats in 5:02 - 2 fouls, 2 rejections, and a trio of bricks (once from the West End Historic District) for a +7 suck differential! Also sucky tonight was Matt Carroll, who missed twice for a +2 in 2:51.

Hawks-Jazz: Joe Smith boringly made 100% of his shot attempts (once!) and also garnered a singular board in 11:18, only to foul four times for a 4:3 Voskuhl. Jeff Teague bricked once and fouled once for a +2 in 3:16. And Mario West can now afford to get his Virtual Boy fixed, after collecting a 1.6 trillion (1:38)!

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28 Comments:
Blogger Alex said...
Can we get Basketbawful for 'unintentionally dirty quote machine'? 'ball-busting 14-0 spurt'? Come on.

Anonymous Lucas said...
Mr Bawful, do you read BlogaBull? Their tagline is "We've contracted V.D.N."

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Can we get Basketbawful for 'unintentionally dirty quote machine'? 'ball-busting 14-0 spurt'? Come on.

Whaaaaa...? I had NO IDEA how that...came out...

Mr Bawful, do you read BlogaBull? Their tagline is "We've contracted V.D.N."

No, I don't. But that's pretty funny.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
After the Knicks game which I could barely pay attention to, I turned on curling. There is something mesmorizing about watching that stone gracefully slide down the ice, with grown men yelling at each other and furiously sweeping brooms. Also, you get great quotes after missed shots, like "Disaster, disaster!" and "I'm sick of this stupid game".

Tyrus Thomas, please continue getting 5 blocks per game for my fantasy team, tia.

Blogger Will said...
It's good to see McGrady's knees are in mid-season form.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Will -- Thank you. That is the joke I've been trying to think of since I heard about his injuries, and for some reason it just wasn't clicking. You have made my day.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
It's good to see McGrady's knees are in mid-season form.

It's...it's like he was never gone.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
By the way, where the hell IS everybody?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
There is something mesmorizing about watching that stone gracefully slide down the ice, with grown men yelling at each other and furiously sweeping brooms.

I know I could Google it, but I want to start trying to make up how curling was invented. I mean, serious alcohol and/or drugs had to be involved, right? There's no way sober people came up with this idea.

Blogger Marmatard said...
Well, okay, it helps to play a bad team (like the Kings) and then another squad that tends to dog it against "inferior" opponents (like the Bobcats). Remember: Charlotte has won three straight against the Cleveland Craboliers.

So the Charlotte Bobcats = Denver Nuggets East

Anonymous Ak dave said...
Not gonna lie- right now Olympic Ice Hockey is way more interesting than the Association. There is something in the water up there in Vancouver. For the first time since pros started playing in the Olympics, the teams and the players actually give a shit about this tournament, and the games have been phenomenal to watch as a result.

Ovechkin dumping Jagr on his ass, forcing the turnover that led to a goal 5 seconds later- that shit is intense! USA beating Canada in front of a hostile crowd despite being outshot 45-23... Man. If only the NHL were even close to this level of play. I might actually watch some hockey then.


Uh, basketball, right. So... anyone else think that the real prize in that Dallas trade was Haywood? C-But can score, but really there is no shortage of aggressive swingmen in the NBA, so he's pretty replaceable. On the other hand, a big man who can shot-block, hit the boards, defend, and post-up like Haywood? Not so common.

Odds Damp gets his starting spot back ever: 0%, unless Haywood gets injured. Guy is pretty beastly.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Bawful -- "Dude. (inhales) You know what would be totally awesome?"
"What?"
"We should play shuffleboard on ice." (coughs)
"Sweet. I need to get some Doritos or Ho-Hos or something first. Hold on."
(walks away into kitchen, comes back with boxes of junk food, and a broom)
"Man, I tripped over this. What can we do with it?"
"...Let's brush the shit out of some ice!"
"Sweet."

And to answer your other question, I have no idea where everybody is. Curling, maybe? Or perhaps practicing their ice dancing?

Blogger Quinton said...
Tracy telling the media that he probably will have to "shut it down"...I didn't expect stuff like this until at least around game 6. You guys should here the Houston media, every person in the city is happy to have him shipped out, and the thing is, this has happened to him 3, three, uno dos thres, III, times, every single team rejoices to see him leave and he still just doesn't get it, what a waste.

Blogger BadDave said...
I have a total crush on half of the women curlers. There's a chick from Canada, one from GB, one from Japan's team and two from the US I'd like to get my stones on.

To slide on. In curling. Sick-minded pigs.

Blogger chris said...
Dan B. - You know what? Curling is like the perfect non-sport for The Rest Of Us. Imagine celebrity curling with Shaq, Ron-Ron, and Starbury...

Blogger Leland said...
Curling aka Canadian botchie is plain bawful to watch. Don't get me wrong, the canadians make a lot of great things: bacon, hockey players, beer, the girls from 2 girls one cup (made that up)...but yea three is better than none.

Anyways the only reason I'll even watch it is because the girls are effing hottt. Where the hell are these girls, and how did they get involved in curling??

I think they could make it more interesting in the following ways. First, play outside on a frozen lake. In addition, it should be played on thin ice. What a shame it would be for a really hott curling girl to fall into cold water.....o dear.

Second, it should be a women only sport and they should have to play in bikinis.

Third, they should be allowed full contact of opposing players while they "curl".

Finally, the loser of each inning should have to discard 1 article of clothing. Since there seem to be infinite innings in curling that would guarentee some nice scenery.

Man-datory add on: Beer will be the only beverage allowed to be served at curling events.

Blogger chris said...
Jayson Williams slated to be spending time in the custody of the State of New Jersey after all...

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
1) Curling. I ran across this NSFW link on another blog today. This is a curler (from Denmark). This is why curling is awesome.

http://www.vg.no/sport/ol/2010/artikkel.php?artid=589446

Again let me emphasize the VERY VERY NFSW-ness of that link. There is a boobie. And a nipple. And it's most excellent.

2) Did anyone else notice Andray Blatche, ego-machine?

"I feel like a leader. I feel like I'm leading my team in the right direction," Blatche said.

Huh?

"When you start playing like this, your expectations are going to be higher," Saunders said. "Now teams are going to set their defense up to play against you, to stop you."

Huh?

Now don't get me wrong, the kid clearly has talent. But for most of his career, he's been such a space cadet he makes Tyrus Thomas look grounded. (that's one for you, Bawful). Now he's a "leader" that other teams have to "play against you, to stop you."

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Let's watch for a stat curse on Mr. Andray "I played well for 3 games and now I think I'm an All-Star" Blatche. 3 games does not a career make. Moreover, if you had this in you, why didn't you listen to Tough Juice and 'Twan a little more *before* they got traded, pull your head of your ass, and make the Generals into a real team?

Anyways, returning to point #1.. boobies.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Where's the Dunleavy photo spread?

Blogger Dan B. said...
Anoymous -- Good things come to those who wait. (Unless you're a Clippers fan. Then good things never come.)

Blogger Quinton said...
Josh Howard, traded to Washington, 4 games in Washington, tears his ACL, no more season for Josh howard. This blog writes itself.

Blogger Will said...
Dan B: That's why I'm here
Curling is one of those sports that had to have been invented by people who live in the middle of nowhere and had nothing better to do.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Josh Howard, traded to Washington, 4 games in Washington, tears his ACL, no more season for Josh howard. This blog writes itself.

And another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust...

Blogger The Weekly Gazelle said...
Bawful, are you planning a separate post on Iverson or are you going soft on us/finally feel bad for the guy? I know the excuse is that he has family issues, but this seems to be a pattern. Is he doing an Isiah and letting his family take the blame?
Damn, poor Josh Howard. I honestly thought the ACL injury mistook him for Thornton since he still has the Clippers stink on him. Oh well, at least J-Ho gets a long period of time without drug testing. Good for him.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Bawful, are you planning a separate post on Iverson or are you going soft on us/finally feel bad for the guy? I know the excuse is that he has family issues, but this seems to be a pattern. Is he doing an Isiah and letting his family take the blame?

Just waiting for more info. If his daughter really is sick, I don't want to blast him.

Blogger BadDave said...
I approve. Believe it or not, this site is about the *worst* of the NBA. Watching a player be a good father to his children (let us assume this is true for now) would never qualify.

Good thing Wilt wasn't a good Dad - think how many sick days he would have had.

Anonymous BusinessTime said...
Regarding how curling was invented... a lot of sports can be made to sound pretty dumb when it comes down to it.

Guy #1: Hey, you see that hole 300 yards away from here?
Guy #2: Uh... no?
Guy #1: Wanna see how many tries it takes me to use this stick to hit a ball into the hole?
Guy #2: ...
Guy #1: One day, getting really good at this will make me millions of dollars, land me a hot Swedish swimsuit model for a wife, and have more gold diggers throwing themselves at me than 1849 San Francisco!

Heck, basketball started out as a game about trying to throw a ball into a peach basket more times than the other guy.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
"Just waiting for more info. If his daughter really is sick, I don't want to blast him."

I approve of BadDave's approval. I was thinking the same thing as The Weekly Gazelle: "Why hasn't 'Bawful blasted Iverson yet??" Your explanation is simple and makes good sense. I might not have given Iverson the benefit of the doubt. And I might have looked like a jackass because of it. (well, than and a few other things...)

Well done.

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