Bron and Melo
I don't know why, but this song totally popped in my head
when I saw this pic. With LeBron singing it, of course.

The Cleveland Cavaliers: Okay, let's consider the following Crab facts: A transcendent game from LeBron (43 points, 13 rebounds, 15 assists, 2 steals, 4 blocks), 116 points on 50 percent shooting, a 66-46 advantage in points in the paint and a 40-26 edge in free throw attempts.

How the hell did Cleveland lose this one?!

Well, let's start with that FTA advantage. When you get 14 more foul shots than your opponent but end up only +2 in points off those attempts, something has gone very wrong. The Crabs shanked 17 freebies, which is especially damning in a game that goes to overtime. The primary culprits were The Big Clanky (0-for-6) and King Crab himself (12-for-17). Shaqnopsis? Yep. Shaqnopsis.

Another problem, believe it or not, was LeBron's shot selection. His overall accuracy (15-for-33) wasn't terrible, but it would have been 14-for-24 had he not gone a miserable 1-for-9 from downtown. And it's not like he was bricking wide-open threes, either. At least six or seven of those attempts were heat checks of the highest order. In fact, after he knocked down his one and only trey late in overtime, he immediately chucked up two turrible threes on Cleveland's very next possession when a drive or a post up would have been the better choice. And, as it happened, some gritty offensive rebounding by his teammates gave him a third chance...at which point he finally took it to the cup and tied the game with a layup and one.

But the Basketball Gods were clearly offended by LeBron's gunning, because they let Carmelo Anthony (40 points, 6 boards, 7 assists) hit the game-winner over his good buddy's outstretched claw. We can only hope King Crab understands it's nothing personal...just business.

Said the Chosen Crustacean: "It's finally me being on the other end I guess. I'm so used to being on the other end making shots and looking at guys."

Ah...modest as ever!

Mind you, LeBron missed his final four shots, while 'Melo made 7 of his last 8. I'm just sayin'.

Shaquille O'Neal, quote machine: "We have to chalk this under another game of us beating ourselves. The whole world knows we beat ourselves tonight. Too many turnovers, too many missed shots."

Notice how he didn't say anything about missed free throws?

Cancer: What a bummer to find out that George Karl has neck and throat cancer. I've gotta give him some mad props for gutting it out and sticking with his team. Now he's looking at coaching the stretch run while undergoing a six-week treatment program of radiation and chemotherapy. Damn.

Said Karl: "I think I need the gym and I need the juice of being happy about kicking someone's butt and preparing and watching video. I felt very early it made no sense for me to separate from the team. ... It's going to be my sanctuary to do what I like to do and forget maybe the things that are always going to pop into your mind."

I wish him well. Especially if he keeps giving us things like...

George Karl, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Submitted by our very own lacktion chris: "Penetration will wear them out." Yes. Yes, it will.

Speaking of unintentionally dirty quotes...

The Associated Press, unintentionally dirty quote machine: This item from the AP recap of the Nuggets-Crabs came was submitted by Basketbawful reader Jan N.: "James and Anthony entered first and third in the league in scoring, respectively, and didn't disappoint. The two combined to make just 4 of 20 shots in the first quarter, then spent the rest of the night hitting huge shots in each other's face."

Eek.

The Los Angeles Lakers: I guess all those "Are they better without Kobe?" qustions got answered last night. L.A. missed nine free throws, barely shot over 40 percent as a team, managed one measly field goal over the final 7:14, and scored only 86 points on their home court against their most bitter rival. That's a pretty big fail, right?

Historical footnote: That point total was the Lakers' lowest against the Celtics since February 15, 1991, when they lost 98-85 at the Forum. That was the famous game (well, to me, anyway) in which Vlade Divac had talked a little smack about how the Lakers' previous game against the Celtics in Boston had been "an exhibition." Somebody brought that to Robert Parish's attention, and the Chief's response was, "Well, fuck Vlade Divac." Parish went out and destroyed Divac, scoring 21 points on Vlade in the first quarter...which, considering the fact that at that point Chief was the fourth option, was like Bird dropping 40 in a quarter. Man, that was awesome.

Honestly, though, the Lakers had no excuse to lose this one. The refs let them play hacky-smack defense in the paint but tagged Kevin Garnett with some cheap ticky-tac fouls that limited him to only 26 minutes. In fact, Boston was up 66-55 in the third quarter when KG got hit with another cheapie -- his fourth of the game -- and had to go to the bench with 8:27 left to go in the period. By the time he got back into the game midway through the fourth quarter, the Lakers were on a run that gave them an 84-80 lead.

Note the Lakers scored only 2 more points after KG came back. Again, I'm just sayin'.

Rasheed Wallace: One of the main reasons the Celtics took a chance on Wallace was so he could act as a replacement for Garnett when KG was hurt or in foul trouble. Since that was the case last night, 'Sheed logged 20 minutes...and went 2-for-11 from the field, including 0-for-3 from downtown. And his shots were not pretty. Even his postups looked awkward and forced. Although trying to shoot over Pau Gasol will do that.

The bigger problem, pun intended, is Wallace's big, fat ass. I've watched probably 80 percent of Boston's games this season, and I'm not sure there's been a single one where a broadcaster didn't say something like, "If Rasheed Wallace can get in shape" or "When Rasheed Wallace gets in shape." Hell, Doug Collins said it last night. Uh, Doug, over half the season has gone by. If someone can't get in shape by playing professional basketball for several months, what's it going to take? A fat farm? Do we need to hide his boxes of Twinkies?

On top of his cruddy shooting, Wallace's picked up lucky technical foul number 13. Three more mean an automatic one-game suspension. And mind you, the league office recently rescinded two technical fouls he already gotten.

Oh, and then there was this play...

Ron Artest: I could watch this all day. In fact, I probably will be.


Lacktion report: With Big Shot Larry a member of his Purple Paupers, chris can only drown his sorrows in lacktion:

Nuggets-Crabs: Malik Allen closed out the 2nd quarter in a Tanooki Suit as the result of a 4.4 second Super Mario!!!

Celtics-Lakers: Brian Scalabrine provided some celebration in Los Angeles with a take of 2.05 trillion (2:04)!

(In non-lacktive news, Andrew Bynum earned a Calvin Murphy with 14 points and 9 boards.)

Labels: , , , , , ,

40 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Don't forget Queen James tearing up after missing the final shot and running off into the locker room after the game.

Blogger Adam said...
How in the world did I miss that Artest face plant? For some reason the way his body goes down is more comical than it should be, like you could put it on loop to the Benny Hill theme or something.

Also, because I would be remiss if I didn't bitch about the refs, for whom I will always hold nothing but contempt: Can somebody explain to me how Gasol desperately calling for a time out is ignored for a good four seconds until Odom shoots the ball with 2.2 left? It's not like the clock had expired and they'd have had to un-end the game to correct it. Maybe Fisher wouldn't have had to jack up that crappy shot with six-ish seconds instead of two, maybe he would have. They'd probably have lost the game anyway, but is there something in the rules about reviews that I'm not aware about that prevented them from correcting things or was it just their usual resistance to admitting they were wrong?

Lastly, best of luck to George Karl and his health. "Very treatable" cancer or not, he deserves all the well wishes he can get.

Blogger Cortez said...
"Another problem, believe it or not, was LeBron's shot selection."

Don't look now but, LeBron's shot selection is turning "Bryant-esque".

The primary difference is James laughes and dances a lot so it's differnt...I guess.

Good to have you back.

I can't waste time at work as efficently with the other writers!

Blogger Adam said...
Oh, and every Lebron quote I read on this site just makes me hate him more. My god, at least PRETEND to have some modesty.

Blogger chris said...
Ziller at SactownRoyalty has posted a primer to Null-Star Dominic McGuire for pauper fans.

Blogger Charlie said...
I love seeing the crabs lose. It's so annoying seeing them all spread the floor and watch king crab go 1 on 5 for every single possession. They are such a pathetic team; they look like a bunch of kids playing with their big bro. Unfortunately they are going to be hard to beat now that they finally added another great player with Jameson. But it cracks me up to see the team frantically get the ball to James while he shoots one brick after another. The guy is like 1 for 20 for game winning shots in his career. He really doesn't have that mental focus like kobe or jordan at the end of tight games.

OpenID phelan said...
http://sports.espn.go.com/dallas/nba/news/story?id=4927285

flu-like symptoms my ass, they just came out and said it. drunken partying does not lead to a good game the next day lol

Anonymous NarSARSsist said...
Adam - Reviews for how much time there is left is not allowed in that situation. I think I heard them mention it during the broadcast after pointing out Gasol furiously tapping his hands together for a TO. My bigger question is, why didn't anyone else, like Odom, call the time out? That's a pretty big mental error.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Also, because I would be remiss if I didn't bitch about the refs, for whom I will always hold nothing but contempt: Can somebody explain to me how Gasol desperately calling for a time out is ignored for a good four seconds until Odom shoots the ball with 2.2 left? It's not like the clock had expired and they'd have had to un-end the game to correct it. Maybe Fisher wouldn't have had to jack up that crappy shot with six-ish seconds instead of two, maybe he would have. They'd probably have lost the game anyway, but is there something in the rules about reviews that I'm not aware about that prevented them from correcting things or was it just their usual resistance to admitting they were wrong?

Yeah, that whole sequence was a clusterfuck. I actually thought the timeout didn't get called before Odom missed the layup. Lotta confusion.

At any rate, there are very specific review rules, and I don't think they can use review to determine when a timeout was called.

Anonymous Geert said...
When I clicked on the link to the youtube video on the Sheed-segment, I got the following message: "Deze video bevat inhoud van Turner NBA, die deze wegens auteursrechtschending heeft geblokkeerd voor je land." That's Dutch for "This video contains content belonging to Turner NBA, who blocked it for your country because of copyright ingringement." So much for internationalising NBA basketball. It's weird, because this is the first time I see this. What's Turner NBA anyway?

Anonymous ishlifyhead said...
no mention on Lebron's face after he bricked the last shot? He looked like he drank a gallon of vinegar.

And as usual, he immediately stormed off the court, crying at that, while his teammates did the manhug thing with some of the Nuggs.

His reaction looked very similar to this http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u15/Blaakmajik/3074315863_8a78a77bcb_o.jpg

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Don't look now but, LeBron's shot selection is turning "Bryant-esque".

No kidding. And sometimes it's even worse. "I'm Rick James, bitch!" should be officially replaced with "I'm LeBron James, bitch!" Or, to adjust for his propensity to speak in the third person, "LeBron is LeBron James, bitch!"

By the way, I lost your e-mail. Could you drop me a line?

flu-like symptoms my ass, they just came out and said it. drunken partying does not lead to a good game the next day lol

Awesome. The NBA's first flu-like symptoms trade? At least since the early 80s, I'd think.

Blogger Adam said...
NarSARSsist and Bawful:
Ah okay, I understand. I truly asked the question out of a need to know and not just my disgust, so thanks.

I was more confused when one of the announcers mentioned that he asked the ref about what happened and the ref said nothing could be done, but with no explanation as to why.

Still annoys me that in a really tight game with less than ten seconds left, things are potentially decided by an official not doing his job and all they can do is shrug. It's not even like there was a tough question about who touched the ball last before going out of bounds. It was clear as day they screwed up and should have been able to fix it because the game hadn't ended at that point.

I understand that if the game had to stop every time there was a question about the officiating, each game would take a full day, but when their mistakes are clear within seconds, in slow-mo from five different angles when applicable, it gets a bit ridiculous.

I understand why you only cover the most egregious officiating or you'd likely be writing twice as much as usual.

Blogger dunkfu said...
Laker's not scoring in the final 7:14 is really bad however that probably doesn't happen if Kobe is playing.

What's Boston's excuse for not scoring in the last 2:24 though?

I'm just sayin'.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
no mention on Lebron's face after he bricked the last shot? He looked like he drank a gallon of vinegar.

Damn it. I was a little behind on the DVR, so as soon as he missed I fast forwarded into the Celtics game.

Is there video of this?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LZQ6j9Nkds&feature=player_embedded

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
although Kenyon Martin did well in his return (yay fantasy team), his 3 crappy missed jumpshots in OT were, well, crappy. However, in his one goal in OT was a dunk putback including a nice teabag on Varejao.

Also, why are we still calling Billups "Mr. Big Shot" ugh. Melo was 3-3 with 1 AST in OT.

Bawful: Just goto NBA.com and watch the game recap video for the LeBrick frown.

Blogger BadDave said...
Geert - Turner NBA is NBA content for which the TV stations owned by Ted Turner have some publishing rights. In this case, the stations are primarily TBS and TNT.

In practical vernacular, Turner NBA is what prevents the Phoenix Suns from winning on national TV.

I also just want to take a moment and reflect how *everyone* on this site calls Cleveland the crabs, and uses the language related to that. Awesome.

Anonymous DKH said...
Still annoys me that in a really tight game with less than ten seconds left, things are potentially decided by an official not doing his job and all they can do is shrug.

Guess you can go cry with LeBron, since he's pissed that he can't get any fouls called when he gets hacked on a three-pointer (happened twice that I saw in the last 20 minutes of the game, including the game-winning shot). He should know that NBA refs suck at that by now, after that happened to him in the Finals a few years ago. Not to mention that the reffing in that game was all around sucky both ways.

At any rate, Bawful's criticisms of LeBron's shot selection are totally right on. He went into SWAC mode at the end of the game and overtime.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I still love LeBron, and I'm a Celtics fan. If you are kept being told you are the best there is and you could be better than him and him, there's a chance that one day you actually start to believe that and live out that persona.

Anonymous DKH said...
Err, sorry Adam, that came off as nasty. I just mean LeBron should learn to deal with the officials better, even while we fans are justifiably pissed at the refs (I am too; let me reiterate that the first game last night had horrible officiating). I think this is increasingly becoming a problem in the NBA and the NFL, but for some reason isn't as strong a problem in MLB or the NHL.

Blogger Adam said...
I'll never cry with or for LeBron when half the time he charges for the basket (key word being "charges") the refs are blowing on their whistles in anticipation of an and-one the moment defenders start putting their arms up.

Crying about LeBron not drawing ENOUGH fouls is something I've not seen much of.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
http://www.nba.com/video/games/lakers/2010/02/18/0020900803_bos_lal_recap.nba/index.html

Personally I think this was nastier than Artest on Sheed. You don't see two posters in one game often

Blogger Adam said...
DKH:
No worries, I knew what you meant. And agree with you about how Lebron needs to deal with the officials.

It's just frustrating that the only sport I seriously watch is the one with the most (and most public) questions about the quality and consistency of the officiating.

I realize that they're just humans in a game that's notoriously hard to officiate, but they need to come up with some sort of balance between human interpretation and technology to correct the blatantly bad calls as soon and as often as possible, without slowing the game to a crawl. I don't even know if it's possible.

Maybe a system like in football where a coach can request a review of a call at the expense of a time out or something.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Last night on commentary Reggie Miller said something I thought was really funny. They showed Jerry West and Reggie said "I just couldn't stop touching the legend Jerry West when we were back there."

Anonymous Hellshocked said...
Anonymous:

I'm not entirely sure that is true. There are plenty of athletes who at least bother to put up a semi humble front in public. Lebron doesn't even try to fake it.

Even if it WERE true, it doesn't mean that it is an attractive quality and it makes him a prime and justifiable target for constant ridicule around these parts. The guy has "Chosen 1" inked across his back for goodness sake. Whenever he says something like that I become convinced that he is one more MVP award away from getting a tattoo of himself dunking on somebody with one hand while thumb pointing at himself with the other and smiling on his stomach. I'm sure he will also helpfully label it in some loud, fancy font: LEBRON JAMES 23 LEBRON NIKE LEBRON

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Even funnier was when Reggie commented on the play where Carmelo, sensing LeBron lurking behind him on a breakaway, opted for a strong dunk finish rather than a lay-in. Miller lauded the decision, somewhat sarcastically, noting that "some players" go for the easy lay-in and get their shot blocked. lol.

If this needs explaining, just youtube "reggie miller tayshaun prince block".

Miller also commented on a foul caused by the jumpshooter "kicking out" on his follow through, causing contact with the passive defender and drawing the foul. Fortunately the Czar was there to bust him out on that one. Reggie Miller: pure comedic gold.

Anonymous NarSARSsist said...
Still annoys me that in a really tight game with less than ten seconds left, things are potentially decided by an official not doing his job and all they can do is shrug.

I always thought that was funny. They'll go review a shot clock malfunction over and over and over or put two tenths of a second back on a clock, but they can't go back and fix this. It's the the NFL reviewing whether runner gained 21.6 inches and got the first down or 21.5 inches and turned the ball over on downs based on an original spot that was very imprecisely chosen.

Blogger chris said...
So Tyreke the Freak gets to dine with President Obama at the Maloof compound.

Can we have an executive order passed to keep this team in Sacramento?! Please?! LOL.

Blogger DDC said...
Lebron should never shot 9 three pointers in a game. For all of his gifts and abilities, he plays very inefficiently. I don't know why he is reluctant to post up, he could score 4 or 5 points more a game. Why he wants to emulate Kobe's game is a tad vexing. One more note, is it me or is Shaq getting fatter by the game.

Blogger DDC said...
By the way, other's are noticing King Crab's penchant to shoot the 3.

WV: oughts
The NBA oughts to contract some franchises and create a team of Null Stars.

Anonymous NarSARSsist said...
One more note, is it me or is Shaq getting fatter by the game.
Gives a whole new meaning to "Shaq just ate his lunch!" doesn't it?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Maybe LeBron is just trying to be the most dominant fantasy basketball player ever (already multiple appearances in the 1 3pt/1 stl/1 blk group). To be fair, technically he's shooting a career-best 3pt% this year, at 35.3%.

Or, he could just be bored, and is willing to brute force the kinks out of is range game now, for games and seasons later.

Or he could be lazy, w/e.

wv: lation. So close!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
"One more note, is it me or is Shaq getting fatter by the game.
Gives a whole new meaning to "Shaq just ate his lunch!" doesn't it?
"

This has been heavily reported already.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Congrats on being site of the day on SportsNation. :)

So is that how Artest got the concusion?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Congrats on being site of the day on SportsNation. :)

Thanks! Stupid thing is, I only just saw the e-mail from them telling me the site was going to be featured.

Blogger chris said...
Bawful: I demand, Matt McHale: Technical Writer, that you place screenshots of this achievement on this page. NOW. :D

Blogger Bing said...
Has Fisher's time come?

He got eaten alive by Ray.

Most of the time he couldn't keep up with him, and when he did run him down the poor old fella was too stuffed to both raising his hands in the air...

Not that I'd want Famar or don'tletshannondunk running the show full time. Option 3?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
ahem. the celtics are not the fakers most bitter rivals. the most bEtter rivals perhaps, but not the most bItter rivals. that title goes to the Golden State Warriors. i would just like to end this comment by saying the usual Fuck the Fakers and i hope Gaybe chokes on a dick a dies

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