The Chicago Bulls were on their way to England a couple weeks ago when Derrick Rose celebrated his 21st birthday. As you can see, great fun was had by all. Well, as much fun as you can have eating cake on a plane that's rocketing over the Atlantic ocean.


But wait, there's more. Or, at least, there's going to be more. Apparently, ClubNet360 is throwing D-Rose an "official" birthday party this Saturday. Here's the suitably dramatic promo graphic:

D-Rose Bday 1
Apparently, Derrick's birthday party will be extra flame-y.

The venue hasn't been announced yet, but the event page promises it'll be one of the "HOTTEST BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS" of the year. How can they promise it'll be so darn hot? By importing hot babes of course! To that end, ClubNet360 put an add on craigslist looking for models who would like to work the gig.

craigslist ad

Let's see...I'm over 21 years old and enjoy going to clubs. I'm able to attend and host weekly events and socialize / network with new people. I'm energetic, outgoing, presentable. I have an electronic presence and transportation. I'm so in!

Or maybe not. The ad doesn't say "women only," but I'm guessing I have too much sausage for ClubNet360's (not to mention D-Rose's) tastes. But I RSVP'd for the party anyway...and my RSVP has already been confirmed! Here are the details:

This Event Is Already Abuzz In The City!!! Celebrities Are CONFIRMED! The NBA's Rookie Of The YEAR & Reigning NBA Skills Champion Will Have An ALL-Star Birthday Celebration. The Entire Chicago Bulls Team Will Attend This Ultra Plush Event...as Well As Some Of Chicago's Most Famous Celebrities. This $30 Million 2 Level Venue Provides An Atmosphere Like No Other...Built Around Elegance...There's No Finer Venue In Chicago. This Is An Event That You Don’t Want To Miss...A Portion Of The Proceeds From This Event Will Benefit Charities.

YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THE $2 MILLION BACK DROP

Guest List Includes: Vince Vaughn, Judge Greg Mathis, Jeremy Piven, Luol Deng, Kirk Hinrich, Joakim Noah, Tyrus Thomas, Derrick Byars, Aaron Gray, Brad Miller, Chris Richard, James Johnson, Jannero Pargo, Jerome James, Taj Gibson
Lindsey Hunter
I simply cannot wait to meet Aaron Gray, Chris Richard and Derrick Byars. Time to get my tux pressed! Seriously, though, since when are Vince Vaughn and Judge Greg Mathis "Chicago's most famous celebrities"? That's kinda sad if you think about it. Couldn't ClubNet360 at least have gotten Adam Baldwin or that guy who played Ross in Friends?

The weirdest thing about this is that Derrick Rose is so shy and unassuming, I can't imagine him even going to a party like this much less being the guest of honor. I guess it's like they say: you always have to watch out for the quiet ones.

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15 Comments:
Anonymous Lucas said...
The poster reminds me of "Tyrone's $500,000 Crack Party" ad on the Chapelle Show.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I believe Rose is less like shy and unassuming and more like mildly retarded.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yeah, Rose is mildly retarded. That's why he has an incredible basketball IQ and performs at the highest level with ease, despite being 21 years old.

He definitely seems a bit unassuming, but his brothers kept such a short leash on him that I wonder how much is just for his public image. Remember, this is a guy who grew up watching Jordan. Also, there seemed to be some haze in the air when he was throwing signs...and possibly a pot leaf on his shirt.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I thought "learn the business inside and out and get paid" was CraigsList lingo for prostitution. I hope you know what you're getting into... and I expect a full report on Monday.

Blogger In BC We Trust said...
Too much sausage? Definitely. D-Rose only likes apples.

Blogger Cortez said...
"That's why he has an incredible basketball IQ and performs at the highest level with ease, despite being 21 years old."

This isn't meant as commentary on Rose, however, plenty of people with developmental disabilities excel at athletic events.

Rose simply looks to be shy (or aloof) and unassuming as originally stated.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Well I have read the same thing, but specifically with Asperger's syndrome. Some people also think Einstein and Mozart may have had Asperger's; it enabled them to truly focus on one particular subject in a much more nuanced way than most people can. However, I would think that the main one found in athletes might be dyslexia...I think some PF at St. Johns was dyslexic and basically was able to get to 10th grade without even knowing how to read because he was so damn good.

That said, D-Rose is not such a case. Maybe Magic though.

-same anon as before

Blogger Dunpizzle said...
"The weirdest thing about this is that Derrick Rose is so shy and unassuming, I can't imagine him even going to a party like this much less being the guest of honor"

http://www.makli.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/derrick-rose-gang-signs1.jpg

Forget Aaron Gray.... Jerome James is in the building.

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
We have a man on the inside now, baby. Look out basketball world, there's a new insider on the scene.

I say you call out Rose in the middle of a club and drink him under the table.

Anonymous Wormboy said...
I Need To Start Capitalizing Every Word In My Emails. Even The Prepositions!

Blogger DumbGenius said...
Even legends get in the awefulness!

its magic vs isiah!

http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/The_Baseline/entry/view/39888/isiah_and_magic_in_full-on_feud

Blogger Adrian said...
I love that nowhere in that ad does it explicitly state that Rose himself will be in attendance.

Ahh f*** it, I'd go just to hang out with Kirk Hinrich.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You're reaching Bawful.

Anonymous Wormboy said...
Really?!?! I am? I've been wanting to reach Bawful for a long time!

Or did you intend to put a comma after "reaching," thus completely altering the meaning of your anonymously posted sentence?

Blogger CassavaLeaf.com said...
How old was he coming out of high school?
I didn't know that he was 21 already...
18 H.S.
19 Memphis
20 NBA Rookie
21 Soph

ok that makes sense now, he has an 'early' birthday

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