pickup revisionism
Later, he will remember that finger roll as a rim-rattling dunk.

pickup revisionism (pik'-up ri-vizh'-uhn-iz'-uhm) noun. The conscious or unconscious distortion of specific events that occurred during a pickup basketball game such that certain elements of a player's performance appear in a more or less favorable light. Pickup Revisionism appeals to the intellect using a number of techniques to advance a view. These techniques include presenting false memories as genuine, inventing reasons for distrusting accurate accounts of the game, attributing their own conclusions to other players, manipulating statistics to support their views, and deliberately misinterpreting other players' statements.

Usage example: I remember him going something like 3-for-15 from downtown last night, but he swears he was on fire. He even described several shots I know he never made. His pickup revisionism is intense.

Word history: I invented this term to describe how pickup ballers regularly misremember their scoring output and/or shooting performance. It's a takeoff of historical revisionism.

Word trivia: In most cases, pickup revisionism is used to enhance the memory of a player's performance, usually with regards to that player's offense (inflated scoring totals, exaggerated shooting percentages, etc.).

However, some ballers use pickup revisionism to downplay or even disparage how they played. This will lead to statements like "I missed everything" or "I couldn't hit a layup" when in fact they did hit a few jumpers or only missed a couple layups (while making several others).

It can also be used in to negate or diminish the performance of opposing players and even teammates. ("I played great, but damn, Dean couldn't pull down a board and Eric didn't play a lick of defense. We would have won if not for them...")

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15 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
wonder what the guy playing D will revise his memory to?

his hand isn't even close to the ball...

wait, yes...wait...

Blogger jce said...
I find that there is a positive correlation between the amount of "pickup revisionism" and the amount of beers drunk post-game.

Blogger LA Huey said...
I see two graduates of the Shaquille O'Neal Academy of Contesting Shots

Blogger the differential said...
This is one of the best Pickup ones ever... I play with a guy, whom whenever I'm not there, tells me this big fat lie about his game the day before... Or he'll tell me about games at other gyms and stuff. It almost always includes some bogus story about a dunk he did in game, sometimes involving an alley-oop, despite the fact that he can barely dunk *out* of the game, and can't dunk with two hands.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I couldn't help but notice that this isn't Livin' Large... still...

Capcha: obystsf

A stereotypical freshman football player's first attempt at spelling the word, "Odyssey."

Anonymous Turdbird said...
Oh! So that's what happened to Big Mat! Sweet! I've been waiting for weeks to find out and now my curiousity has been sated. Thank you Bawful!

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
This one is a classic.

Reminds me of one I invented, (or did you? Who the hell knows.) called 'The Hypothetical Dunker.' It's the guy (perhaps past his prime, enough so to seem like he could have done more) who always talks about sweet dunks of the past, but never dunks in front of the audience he tells these tales to, or in a game, etc. etc.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You're really over-milking the end of living large at this point. Its kind of sad.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Being a 5'11" "hypothetical dunker," that's kind of frustrating to know that there's a name for it. I've been calling it "I had a 38-inch vertical when I was 20 years old and weighed 180ish pounds." Then I shredded everything in my right knee, and haven't seen the right side of the rim since. Even after surgery and intense P.T. I was only able to get it back up to 31"... with a running start, not a drop-step. =( Before the injury, I could two-handed dunk off of a drop-step.

Capcha: donso

Muppet Gonzo's Italian brother.

Blogger Wira said...
You should really publish a book based on all the Pickup Words of the Day. Will be a great read to ballers and reference guides to all.

Anonymous bizarro said...
Enough already
bring Living Large finale.

Blogger john George said...
Seems the actual defender is the shirtless guy behind him.

Too friendly a teammate if you ask me.

wonder if they all take showers together.

Anonymous FarmerTome said...
I am always good when I first play against people I don't know, because I am kind of random-looking (5' 11", white and kind of fat), but despite this, I am really good- especially at jumping. They put me on the worst player, and I always stuff him off the backboard with authority (after I let him get a step on me, so he thinks he has a shot), and everyone soon realizes that I'm good. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that you need a pick-up word of the day to describe a player like me- unassuming, and therefore underrated at times, but is actually one of the best (if not the best) players out there.

Blogger Chris Allin said...
In this many have seen this many a time and I must admit, I have done it once or twice in boasting competitions as a kid.

Wira, I'm with you on the book idea. Instant classic.

Blogger Chris Allin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

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