The second installment of Basketbawful's and my trip to Italy is the most disturbing and creepiest of the trilogy (I hope). With mention of Italian gas chambers, a run-in with a naughty bidet, and ill-mannered disturbances at the Pisa Baptistry and Cemetery, here's where it gets weird.

Having pretty much given up on our effort to locate basketball in Italy, Basketbawful and I are now exhausted and punch drunk, only able to entertain ourselves with giant calzones, Stracciatella gelato (which is basically a high octane, kick-ass version of chocolate chip ice cream), and nightly doses of fun from our friends at Rifftrax. As a result of our growing weariness, our focus strays from basketball (mostly), and turns to childishness and chicanery.

Watch in horror. Don't say you haven't been warned.

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41 Comments:
Anonymous Jeff said...
I'm going to make a lot of money when I make my fetish site Hairy Men on Bidets.

Blogger Giorgio Simone said...
lol, funny.

Blogger Latin_D said...
These two videos were the best 10 minutes of my day. And the Ostertag line at the end of the first one got a honest-to-goodness chuckle outta me. Great stuff, Matt, Evil Ted.

Pizalicious!

(There is "nacho", and there is "macho".)

Blogger Victor said...
Holy hell that's one hairy gorilla man.

Bidets look awful. Seems like way too much trouble especially when yo have to wipe to dry it anyway.

Blogger Sohlman said...
Friggen Awesome, nothing else need be said.

Blogger mrm3x1can said...
Is it bad that I felt awkward just watching that. xD

Anonymous thelakersfan said...
i don't know exactly what to think.. but i laughed

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Evil Ted, do you have a part time job as a barber shop floor?

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
I think the bidet thing was one of the weirdest internet videos I've seen in a while. I try to avoid weird internet videos.

these are absolutely hilarious. cant wait for vid 3. I HOPE RON ARTEST RUINS THE LAAAAAKERSSSSS

Anonymous Anonymous said...
alright these videos are cool and all, but I need some livin' large. pronto.

Blogger htyzrael said...
oh HOLY crap that is sure a lot of hair

Blogger Wild Yams said...
That barber shop floor line has me doubled over, well played.

It's good to see that Laker fans in Pisa don't want to hear your negativity, ET :)

Blogger BJ said...
I join you in your Laker-ruining prayers. But man, I really don't want to go to bed musing on what would've happend if you'd overdone the hot water.
-BJ

Blogger Matt said...
i hope stephon marbury ruins the knicks

oh wait

Blogger Miss L said...
"I hope Ron Artest ruins the laaaaaaakerrrrrrrrrs" is going to be stuck in my head for days. That's not a bad thing.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
LMAO..... I hope Ron Artest ruins the Layyykers...... Hanuting... very haunting.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I like how you pronounced uscita. Its totally wrong. Nice stuff.

Blogger Dan B. said...
I have to wait all day at work before I can go home and watch Part Deux? (Wait, shouldn't it be Part Due if we're in Italy?)

...[Word KG mouths on the sidelines].

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I noticed the bidet too when I was in Italy in May. I almost didn't want to believe its purpose, because of how it's like lightyears behind the ass-cleaning technology of Japan and Korea.

The barber shop floor comment has to be the best Anon comment left on this site.

And finally, when I get home, I'm ripping and cutting IHopeRonArtestRuinsTheLaaaakeeeers.mp3 to use as a personal ringtone and e-mail notification from BasketBawful.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Did evel spirits come from underneath the floor when you called out Ron Artest's name?

Blogger Evil Ted said...
The barber shop comment cracked me up out loud, especially since I used to help sweep up the barber shop floor as a kid in Boston...back in the days when I actually got haircuts.

P.S.
www.ihoperonartestruinsthelaaaakeeeers.com is under construction.

Blogger the differential said...
If playing with yourself too much makes your hand hairy... What the hell was Evil Ted doing? Wait, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.

If I go to Europe, I'm taking a lot of toilet paper with me.

I hope Jack Nicholson throws a beer at Ron Artest, and then Ron Artest does what he does best.

Blogger Ton said...
LIVING LARGE

Anonymous Boudicca's daughter said...
Bidets are for women to wash their ladybeard areas; NOT for blokes. Or is this a US injoke?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Boudicca's daughter: I'm sorry that I have to be the one to break this to you, but men poop too. The anus is a facet of human anatomy shared among both genders. Our farts, however, unlike yours, do not smell of cinnamon buns and rainbows.

Blogger Dan B. said...
NBA news: Rashard Lewis fails a drug test and is suspended 10 games.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
AnacondaHL speaks the truth. If you want to learn more about the human anus, click here (link safe for work).

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Rashard Lewis needs to sue the maker of whatever drug he got popped for. Sure did not help him in the Finals.

For a guy who gets paid that much money (16.4 million a year), is there anyone outside of an Orlando fan who actually wants to see him play?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
LIVING LARGE!!!!

Blogger Zorak84 said...
Don't worry Evil Ted, I'm pretty hairy myself.

Evil Ted, will the webpage sell "I hope Ron Artest ruins the laaaaaaakerrrrrrrrrs" t-shirts? If yes, I want one, XL, thank you...

Blogger Caleb Smith said...
"For a guy who gets paid that much money (16.4 million a year), is there anyone outside of an Orlando fan who actually wants to see him play?"

Not a magic fan really, but I definitely like watching him play. Anyone who can shoot like that I like to watch.

And I do believe his over-the-counter supplement story personally. You can get DHEA at your local mall. It's not even banned in baseball.

Now I know what happened to George 'The Animal' Steele.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
A week w/o Livin Large? I'm going into withdrawal.

Anonymous mauweezie said...
"I hope Ron Artest ruins the laaaaaaakerrrrrrrrrs" lol..i was screaming that earlier this evening to all the laker bandwagoners here in new mexico. Evil ted, you have a slight resemblence to comedian Dave Attel.

Anonymous PK said...
George "The Animal" Steele??

I thought he was Ben Kingsley from Sexy Beast.....

Blogger deepak said...
Man I'm a lifelong lakers fan. But your living large series and the somewhat daily facetious mamba updates have also turned me into bawful fan as well.

Bring back Mr.MMA's antics. Im sure Big Dog is waiting on the next installment.

Anonymous Boudicca's daughter said...
@AHL, WildYams:
What, you mean men shit too? They didn't teach us that in the convent school!

Ladybeard areas: female genitalia.

As an ex-nurse, I'm very familiar with the human anus in all its many and not very pleasant forms, ta very muchness. However, the bidet originated probably in 18th century France as a means for upper-class (possibly royal) ladies to wash their vulvae (not anus! :-) ) - probably another way of flashing the cash, as ordinary women would use a basin and a cloth for the same purposes. A big motivator was contraceptive or infection prevention purposes.

Cf. Rabelais, Gargantua and Pantagruel and the discussion on (a man's) selection of a goosewing to wipe his arse, i.e. arse-washing (with water) has never been something men have been overconcerned with over the course of history! :-)

There are also many instances of men (esp. British men) using bidets to wash their feet or their socks, that doesn't mean that's what they're for.

Cheers, guys!

("Hanging on in quiet desperation..." for ep. 18 of Livin' Large)

Blogger anf said...
You guys are really having fun in Italy!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
About the bidet: you should all try the Argentine versiĆ³n: the bottom centre of the bowl is equipped with a mini-shower pointing directly at you @-hole which greatly facilitates hygiene (although not so good for ladies, since the jet can invade the vaginal cavity and produce festering)

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