MY BAAAAAAALLL

Today's pic was sent in by Geert.

The Atlanta Hawks: The Dirty Birds kept things respectable for the first 24 minutes and were behind by only five points (49-44) at the half...but I already knew the game was over. Want to know why? Because of a second-quarter sequence in which Wally Szczerbiak posted up and the Hawks couldn't trust their defense in single coverage. So they sent an extra man to double Wally -- again, in the post! -- to which Szczerbiak responded by skipping a crosscourt pass to Delonte West for a three-pointer. Oh, and this occurred while King Crab was on the bench. I immediately thought to myself, "If they can't contain a LeBron-less unit featuring the postup prowess of Wally "Playa Pimp" Szczerbiak, well, this isn't going to turn out well for Atlanta." And it didn't.

The Hawks -- who committed 17 turnovers and missed half of their free throws -- were outscored 50-28 in the second half, during which they shot 9-for-30 (30 percent). Said Josh Smith: "It was very disappointing. We advanced to the next level in the postseason and it's kind of disheartening not to be able to play and bring the effort in the second half." Only "kind of" disappointing, Josh? What should be alarming for Atlanta fans, players, coaches, management, stadium employees, personal shoppers, etc., is the casual ease with which the Crabs dispatched them. Mr. MVP scored one of the most effortless 34 points (12-for-20) I've seen in recent memory. Speaking of which...

Joe Johnson: "The Man" for the Hawks finished with 11 points and a game-high 5 turnovers. And he was the unfortunate sucker who was forced to defend LeBron. I guess I don't need to tell you that it was a pretty one-sided matchup. At one point, Johnson actually tried to post up the bigger and much stronger James. 'Bron easily flicked the ball away to a teammate, and, almost before Joe Cool could even react, King Crab was already at the other end throwing down a one-handed slam. Ego-ectomy. And I've gotta be honest...Jonhson looked nervous, if not outright scared, to be facing off against LeBron.

The Atlanta bench: The Atlantean pine jockeys contributed a whopping 10 points on 4-for-19 shooting (and 2-for-6 from the line) in 70+ minutes of mass lacktion. Oh, and their turnovers-to-assist ratio was 7-to-1. Gulp. My favorite bench player play of the night: Zaza Pachulia posts up on the baseline, about 19 feet from the basket, executes to quick half-spins and then loses the ball out of bounds. Somebody needs to remind Zaza that he's only effective within two, maybe three feet of the hoop.

Atlanta's free throw shooting: Remember how I mentioned that they missed half of their freebies (9-for-18)? Well, it might be worth mentioning that Mike Bibby, Joe Johnson and Al Horford combined for zero free throw attempts...in nearly 100 minutes of playing time. That seems almost impossible, doesn't it?

The Dallas Mavericks: As with the Hawks, there were early signs that the Mavs were in trouble. In this case, it was that the Nuggets played like absolute garbage for the first several minutes but Dallas failed to really take advantage of it. At one point, due to a defensive switch, Dahntay Jones was stuck guarding the much taller Dirk Nowitzki in the post. Dirk slammed into Jones a couple times and then pulled what I've started calling "The Wet Spaghetti," where, after minor contact, a player flails his limbs like the bones have been removed in order to get some love from the officials. Anyway, after a couple Wet Spaghetties, Dirk spun and got the ball stripped by Jones...which made me question for like the zillionth time why someone so tall and offensively gifted could suck so badly down low. It's like his puppy died in a tragic low post accident and Dirk never got over it. Hey, Dirk. You're rich. Buy a new puppy, already.

Unlike the Hawks, the Mavericks actually kept the game close through three quarters instead of only two, but the outcome was strangely similar. Dallas was outscored 31-22 in the final quarter and lost by 12 (117-105). And I wouldn't argue if you came to the conclusion that defense was a bit of an issue for the Mavs, considering that the Nuggets shot 50 percent (39-for-78) and earned 40 trips to the line.

Now...regarding trips to the line. I received an email from Mike Fisher of DallasBasketball.com about a post he wrote regarding Danny Crawford, one of the officials in Game 1. (Dan B. also forwarded me a link to the post.) There's a lot of statistical hocus-pokery in the post, so go read it for yourself, but here's the money shot:

"As we pointed out before Sunday's Game 1, in Mavs playoffs games worked by Crawford from 2001-to-2005, the Mavs record was 0-8. (Those years, Dallas was 41-37 in games NOT worked by Crawford.) Now we're updated to this additional info: Since 2001, the Mavs are 53-50 overall in playoffs. Dallas record when Crawford is NOT working the game is 52-35. Dallas' record when Crawford IS working the Mavs game is...1-15. Want more? The one Mavs win under Crawford's watch was in the 2006 Phoenix series, a Dallas blowout victory. Also in 2006, in the NBA Finals, guess who worked Game 3 against the Heat, when Dwyane Wade was allowed to shoot as many FTs (18) as the entire Mavs team made, all leading to Dallas’ two-point loss? That would be Danny Crawford. And in Game 6, when the Mavs lost by three points? And Wade shot 21 free throws, two fewer than the number shot by the entire Mavs team? Danny Crawford strikes again. Seriously, Danny Crawford is the damned Grim Reaper."

Well, chalk up another Dallas loss in a Danny Crawford-officiated game. The Mavs were +10 in fouls and the Nuggets were +23 in FTAs. I'm sure David Stern has already dismissed this as coincidence.

Jason Kidd: Now that Chauncey Billups is done abusing the Young Turk (Chris Paul), he's moved on to embarrassing the Future Hall of Famer. Kidd attempted only 6 shots and finished with more missed field goals (5) than points (4). He did have 6 boards and 7 assists, but was nonetheless outplayed by Mr. Big Shot (18 points, 8 assists, 3 steals.)

Josh Howard: Rick Carlisle recently described Howard as the team's "most important" player. Well, Mr. Most Important ended up with more sprained ankles (2) than points (0) and played only six minutes. So between Howard's gimpiness and Crawford's sinister hatred, you could probably chalk this Dallas loss under "extenuating circumstances." But still.

PJ Carlesimo, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Nominated by t-rocc: "Rick Carlise, he's like the little Dutch boy sticking his finger in the dike"

Lacktion report: After an off night (lacktion-wise), the lacktators were back, courtesy of two double-digit losses for the Hawks and Mavs. And Chris was there to report it:

Hawks-Cavs: The biggest names in the first game of the epic lacktion matchup -- Tarence Kinsey, Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson, and Mario West -- somehow all failed to put out fully pitiful play. Luckily, several folks kept their non-clutch skills sharp for the second round.

Mike Woodson's oddball collection of bench folks, a former Suckramento King, and Joe Johnson provided ample opportunity for a couple of lacktators from the last round to continue their reverse momentum at the Q. Solomon Jones and Acie Law each spent 4:29 on the court, the wise man bringing home a fortune of 4.5 trillion (the first successful investment of the second round), and the legal expert missing one shot for a +1 suck differential.

The crustaceans under the command of Mike Brown crawled onto the shores of Lake Erie and proceeded to pinch away any hope for the dirty birds in the second half. Joe Smith showed why he was such an important catch for the Crabs by a slow 20:33 swim across the floor of the former Gund Arena, in which two boards (and one block) were negated by four bricks, one rejection, and three fouls for a slight 3:2 Voskuhl.

Mavs-Nuggets: Mark Cuban had to be impressed with the free flow of currency in Colorado tonight, as Matt Carroll belted out a tune of treasure with a 1.95 trillion. And the home team lit up a few human victory cigars as George Karl brought out the first synchronized trillionare trio in memory, with Renaldo Balkman, Jason Hart, and Johan Petro ALL scoring a 1.55 trillion!!!!!

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38 Comments:
Blogger chris said...
So was Dirk's turnover and lack of hustle late in the 3rd another example of his saturated semolina sway? Yikes. I really was in disbelief watching that play, both live last night, and in my mind this morning.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Josh Howard's ankle problems are really unfortunate, since I think that has turned what would probably have been a real nail-biter of a series into a rather one-sided affair. Hopefully Dallas can recover at home (where they have been blistering hot in the last few months) and make this into a series; but without Howard it's tough to imagine the Mavs having much of a shot of winning this thing.

I think rather than letting Joe Johnson get manhandled by LeBron, the Hawks may want to think about putting Josh Smith on him, even if it means that Joe Johnson has to guard Ben Wallace or Anderson Varejao. The Crabs are like a snake, in that if you can cut off the head then the rest can't hurt you; so I think Atlanta needs to make sure they stop LeBron first and foremost, and a big athletic defender like Smith might be a good way to do so.

Blogger Dan said...
You've gotta have J.R. Smith in WotN. Ending the first half, the Nuggets had the ball with about 1 second more on the clock than the shot clock. He dribbled for awhile, then took a 3 a few feet behind the line with a man on him, with 5 seconds left. He bricked it, giving Dallas an opportunity to hit a 3 at the buzzer and pull within 3 at the half. Couldn't he have found a better shot, or at least attempted a last second shot?

Blogger mg said...
So, finally somebody says something about the crappy officiating in the Nuggets-Mavs series. It was way worse in game 1, but still.

FTA Game 1: Mavs 13 Nuggets 36.
Total PF: Mavs 57 Nuggets 39.
Total FTA: Mavs 43 Nuggets 76.

And Dirk had a HUGE game last night.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Emperor Stern finds it trivial to control random binomial distributions.

Blogger Headless Chicken said...
Well, obviously, game two wasn't called by Crawford. And Denver still took it away. FTA: 40/50 PF: 28/20. Dallas just hack a lot. And that's gonna even out. And Dallas still gonna lose. By an average of 12.

Blogger Headless Chicken said...
Yams, I wouldn't be too surprised if the Crabs were less like a snake and more like a hydra. Cut off the head and you'll have two more. But you may still be right: "The weakness of the Hydra was that only one of its heads was immortal." So, cut off the right one.

Blogger chris said...
AnacondaHL: That makes me wonder, honestly, what happened to the ref that dared interfere with the status quo and (gasp) whistled down LeBron's Crab Dribble.

Let's just say at least I know one thing - he's a little bit lower on Stern's Christmas card list than the guy who bent the Ewing envelope in '85!

Blogger Cortez said...
"...even if it means that Joe Johnson has to guard Ben Wallace or Anderson Varejao."

Bad move.

Even if the switch was effective, which it won't be, the Crabs offensive rebounding rate will likely skyrocket which will offset the missed shots (that won't happen) from the Smith switch.

"...so I think Atlanta needs to make sure they stop LeBron first and foremost"

They can't "stop" anyone on the Cavs much less LeBron James.

Atlanta can start planning for next season. They are done.

Blogger chris said...
Speaking of THAT dribble, apparently the Crabs themselves have reveled in it on their official site!

"In the stands, we’ve seen fans in costume, head-to-toe. Some of the highlights include two young guys dressed as crabs following LeBron’s famous “crab-dribble” – holding signs that read: “Free the Crab.”"

Gee.

Some blogger noticed D-Wade going for this technique in the first round, anyone have photos or video proof? As he states...

"Hawks come out of the timeout and Joe misses a running two. Dwyane Wade takes the crab dribble to new levels — a lobster roll? — and scores. Wade drives and dishes to Chalmers, who drills another three. Also, the Heat are 11-11 on free throws tonight."

Anonymous AK Dave said...
I think Dirk stepped up to the challenge by and large last night, and his post-play is much, much better than it was several years ago, when he almost never played with his back to the basket. He is still bothered by smaller defenders (like Bowen, or in this case, Jones). His 3-point play in the lane off the glass (not called, I'm sure) came off a nice up-and-under/head-fake move that got a couple guys off their feet and drew the contact. That's what he needs to do more of, but all this talk about "Dirk is soft" and "Dirk is non-clutch" and so on is garbage. He shot well and played with heart. His team is just overmatched in this series.

Still not seeing any of the fire/talent a la '04 Pistons in this Denver squad? Look again. These guys are for REAL, and they're blowing teams out (while not getting blown out themselves), which is more than I can say for anybody else in the West right now. Favorable matchups or not (and everyone said that Dallas matched up with them well, or at least better than NO), they're taking care of business and looking like they belong. Be afraid, Phil Jackson.

Blogger chris said...
AK Dave: "Still not seeing any of the fire/talent a la '04 Pistons in this Denver squad?"

OF COURSE I see that fire! Joe Dumars does, too, and weeps quietly in a corner.

Blogger Caleb Smith said...
The TNT crew deserves a WotN for completely blowing Dirk's comments about Martin/Nene/Andersen's defense out of proportion. Dirk complimented them on their defensive abilities... ok, whatever. So Barkley/Smith/Webber decide that he admited that he can be "stopped" and go on to bash him for about 5 minutes for something HE NEVER SAID.

Blogger Cortez said...
"Still not seeing any of the fire/talent a la '04 Pistons in this Denver squad?"

Nope.

"Favorable matchups or not"

The former.

"(and everyone said that Dallas matched up with them well, or at least better than NO)"

Whoever said that must have some vested interest in keeping the TV ratings somewhat respectable.

The matchups are horrible for Dallas at nearly every position (I'll go ahead and include the 4 spot also). Plus, I wonder how that Josh Howard match up is turning out for Dallas? Oh wait, he's crippled.

"Be afraid, Phil Jackson."

Lakers in 6.

Blogger Caleb Smith said...
@mg - well consider that during the regular season, Denver was an excellent team at getting to the line and Dallas was not - so a certain discrepancy ought to be expected-

Denver attempted 30.3 FTAs per game during the regular season, good for best in the league.

Dallas attempted 22.5 FTAs per game this season, good for 5th *worst* in the league.

Now I'm not saying these games haven't been badly called (I think Denver has gotten a LOT of questionable calls to roll their way since the beginning of the playoffs), but I just thought it should be noted. People always act like the free throws should be relatively even which is not always true since teams have different personell and differing styles of play.

Blogger Cortez said...
"That's what he needs to do more of, but all this talk about "Dirk is soft" and "Dirk is non-clutch" and so on is garbage."

Dirk most certainly isn't soft if soft is taken to mean afraid of contact and scared to play.

However, being 7'0", you are suggesting he needs to head fake and get some up and unders to be really effective...well that's kind of "soft".

A team relying on almost solely on jumpshots is in bad shape from the jump.

...unless you are playing another jumpshoting team, in which case someone has to lose.

"His team is just overmatched in this series."

Which is why Denver looks so good.

The fastest snail in a race is still just a slow fucking snail.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
AK Dave - I think Dallas probably would match up better with Denver if Howard was healthy; but as I said above, without him this is a pretty one-sided series.

And no, I'm still not seeing the comparisons to the '04 Pistons there. Assuming the Lakers pull their shit together and take care of Houston, I still think the Nuggets are pretty undersized against the Lakers, and there still isn't that Tayshaun Prince-like player on Denver who can guard Kobe. Blowing out poor and/or injured teams doesn't really mean anything. In any event, rather than trying to compare these Nuggets to those Pistons, you should ask yourself why you're comparing these Lakers to those Lakers. Those Lakers basically just had Shaq and Kobe (once Malone got hurt), but these Lakers are just as deep and talented as Denver is. The Lakers' biggest threat to getting to The Finals remains themselves.

Blogger Caleb Smith said...
Agreed Cortez, Denver looks great right now but they are playing teams that they are way overmatched against.

Which is not to say Denver hasn't been impressive, they have (much to my chagrin as a Hornets fan), but I wouldn't be surprised at all to see their great play come grinding to a halt once they face LA.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Cortez and Yams:

Noted. I'll check back in the next round.

Wild Yams said: "Blowing out poor and/or injured teams doesn't really mean anything."

- It means they're taking care of business and they're focused. And who is injured on Dallas? Josh Howard? Was he injured in game 1 when Denver blasted them out of the building in the 4th? Denver: destroying a team to whom they are superior. LA: hasn't shown us they are focused yet against a team to whom they are clearly superior. I'm just sayin'. We'll see what happens in game 2. But if they bring that kind of effort (from game 1) moving forward, Phil Jax better be afraid.

Cortez said: "However, being 7'0", you are suggesting he needs to head fake and get some up and unders to be really effective...well that's kind of "soft"."

- So are you saying that 7-0 players shouldn't have to use moves in the post? Other than Shaq (who is the only real bulldozer in NBA history to be considered "great" without any basketball-related skills), name a player who doesn't use fakes and standard post moves to draw fouls. He got a +1 on the play. I say he should do more of that. How is getting the basket and the foul "soft" exactly?

Anonymous Andy said...
Caleb makes a good point - everybody things a discrepancy must mean bad officiating. It could, but you can't make that call unless you actually watched the game.

Denver is a pretty good offensive team but lack the defensive committment (and ability) the 04 Pistons had. I think once a team comes out and puts some pressure on their offense and they start to get down, I don't see them having the poise to focus defensively and get back in it. That said, they have several people who can shoot lights out and lots of ways to score on you, so they'll win a few regardless.

Anonymous Ruben said...
So I was just browsing the website Awkward Boners.com, as you do, and I came across this photo. http://www.awkwardboners.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/415.jpg

This is the 3rd, and only the third basketboner I have ever seen, (along with the Perkins and VDN one) all in the matter of a week. Odd. Is it really that common a sensation, or is it, as you like to say, a sign of the zombie invasion? Are there more of these photos? Does anyone have access to the Jon Amechi photo archives?

Blogger Cortez said...
"So are you saying that 7-0 players shouldn't have to use moves in the post?"

Not at all, that would be silly. I'm saying [7'0"] post players should have some POWER move they can go to.

...which Dirk doesn't have.

"How is getting the basket and the foul 'soft' exactly?"

There is a reason I put the word soft in quotes.

Assume we can agree that there are two general types of post players, one being finesse and the other being power.

Head fakes and up and unders in my experience are primarily associated with finesse players.

Finesse post players tend to avoid or dislike contact, for whatever reason.

Dirk most certainly isn't a power player by any strech of the imagination in anyone's estimation. So, despite Dirk's and-1 play I, and plenty of others, say he is "soft" [finesse not afraid].

That's not a knock on him, not from me anyway. He is what he is.

However, Dirk's game + the personnel surrounding him [primarily finesse players also] = an ass whomping in the playoffs every time.

Check the history books.

"Other than Shaq (who is the only real bulldozer in NBA history to be considered "great" without any basketball-related skills"

You know, I used to say that too until recently. As much as I dislike him, O'Neal wasn't (and isn't) some athletic oaf
running around solely out powering guys. His lack of a jumpshot aside, he has quite a few "basketball skills". He's just a lazy fuck.

Anonymous JP said...
Can we get basketbawful a WON for posting the wrong date?

Blogger Cortez said...
"Was he injured in game 1 when Denver blasted them out of the building in the 4th? "

Yes, quite.

"Denver: destroying a team to whom they are superior."

Just so we are clear, Denver is SUPERIOR to Dallas.

In my opinion, they met the minimum standards so while that is important it most certainly isn't noteworthy.

Good for them and hooray for D students!

"LA: hasn't shown us they are focused yet against a team to whom they are clearly superior."

Once again we agree. LA is superior to Houston.

I'll chalk this loss up to the inveitable loss a teams take when playing other professional athletes with a well executed game plan.

For the record, Houston could sweep the Lakers for all I care. That wouldn't change my opinion on which team had the better skilled players.

Despite the 1 in 175,000,000 odds someone won the lottery last week.

Good for them too.

Anonymous Dan B. said...
Cortez -- "His lack of a jumpshot aside, he has quite a few "basketball skills". He's just a lazy fuck."

To be fair, I would imagine it's hard to move around a lot when you're wearing three Icy Hot patches on your back at once like Shaq does in that one commercial.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
AK Dave - As Cortez already answered above, yes, Josh Howard was real banged up before this season even started. They've mentioned it about 500 times in the first two games, saying Howard said he was only at 60-70% because of his left ankle (he injured his right ankle last night, so now both are shot).

Nevertheless, I still don't see how the Lakers playing unfocused basketball suddenly makes the Nuggets the '04 Pistons. If LA continues to play uninspired and/or stupid basketball they're gonna lose to Houston, let alone Denver. I'm operating under the assumption that the Lakers probably got a wake-up call in Game 1 and won't play that poorly again, but maybe I'm wrong. The point is: whatever the Lakers' issues are right now, they have nothing to do with Denver.

If the Lakers suddenly snap to and start playing the way they are capable of, then no, I don't see Denver beating LA. As a matter of fact, if LA plays up to their abilities, I don't see Denver winning more than one game. LA just has way too many advantages at too many key areas of the floor for Denver to beat them. Pau Gasol is easily capable of going off on Denver the way Nowitzki has been, given that he's even taller than Dirk and that he has a better post game (not to mention he'll be out there with another post threat, something Dirk doesn't have). And unlike Dallas, the Lakers don't have a total void at the shooting guard spot, so Dahntay Jones probably won't play much, and when JR Smith is in the game he'll actually have to play some defense for a change. Meanwhile, Denver's chances to win are largely gonna be tied to how well they can shoot from the perimeter, which as we know is not a good recipe for postseason success.

We'll see how it all goes, but just because Denver matches up well against an undersized and thin Hornets team or a banged up Mavs team doesn't mean jack squat in regards to how they'd match up with the Lakers. And just cause LA laid an egg in one game against Houston and have displayed a lack of focus in the playoffs so far doesn't mean the Nuggets are suddenly Detroit circa 2004.

Blogger Cortez said...
"...if LA plays up to their abilities"

And there is the reason I don't bet on (other people) playing sports.

Too many unknown variables for me to risk my meager earnings.

You never know...
-the undisclosed nagging injuries
-the nagging wife/girlfriend
-the drunken 5 a.m. strip club outing with a 6:00 p.m. tip-off
-the undocumented mental issues (Ron Artest I'm taking about you!)

"so Dahntay Jones probably won't play much"

He'll play as much as Kobe does. He's a stopper!

"...just because Denver matches up well against an undersized and thin Hornets team or a banged up Mavs team doesn't mean jack squat"

Preach brother, preach.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Cortez-

Just so we're clear- I wasn't trying to harp on Shaq; I'm a shaqophile at heart, but he really defined the term "power game" and he was/is a bulldozer.

You think head fakes and up-and-under moves are soft. Noted. However, I think that post moves are post moves. Good post players use power and finesse, and Dirk is becoming a better post player each year. Finally, getting a basket +1 takes skill and a certain degree of power (assuming the refs don't just blow the whistle because your name rhymes with "Train Suede"). Whether or not you think Dirk is soft, the play I was talking about wasn't soft at all, and I'd like to see more of that from him.

And Wild Yams: Search your feelings, you KNOW it to be true. This Denver team is very much like the '04 Pistons, for reasons which you yourself have stated. In time, we will look back at this team and say "yeah they were surprising, but in hindsight, they were just loaded with talent." I understand that they are NOT the 04 Pistons, Ok. As if two teams could ever be truly identical. But if you don't see any similarities, especially in their energy, athleticism, and overall team synergy, then you either aren't watching the same team that I am, or you just don't want to agree with me. Either way is fine. It's completely subjective anyway. And I don't care whether this years Lakers are similar to the '04 team, really I don't.

I'm sorry that Denver is in the West and therefore must challenge LA for a shot at the Finals. I think that your love for LA is clouding your judgment just a little here, and in your rush to disagree with me (and many others), you are missing my point.

We'll see what happens.

On a final note:

"...just because Denver matches up well against an undersized and thin Hornets team or a banged up Mavs team doesn't mean jack squat"

Hey- don't raise your voice with me! This is supposed to be friendly banter here. I'll see your quote, and raise you: "Just because LA beat a depleted (no Memo), undersized (Carlos Boozer at the 4), 8th seeded team who entered the postseason with only 3 wins in their last 10, and is FAVORED to win against a depleted, banged up, undersized (except at 1 position) Houston team, and has already lost at home... also doesn't mean "jack squat""

:D

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Andy-

It is not easy to objectively analyze defense with numbers and stats. However, Denver's defense has been quite good so far in my estimation, evidenced by their ability to get multiple stops and multiple scores at critical junctures (i.e. 4th quarter).

They have earned back their "D" in my opinion.

With regard to free throw discrepancy, you are right on the money. Anytime a team who slashes and posts up plays a team of jumpshooters, there will be a free throw discrepancy. If you watch the games, it is clear that the refs aren't making bad calls; it's just that one team is forcing the other to foul, and one team is settling for jumpers.

Blogger Cortez said...
"You think head fakes and up-and-under moves are soft."

Did I really say that?

(Checks previous post)

I didn't think so.

"Dirk is becoming a better post player each year."

He's 31 years old. At his current rate he'll be a lethal force on the block just about 7 years after he retires.

"Finally, getting a basket +1 takes skill..."

Really? I was going to name a list of bums who have manged to get a 3 point play but I decided that I would fold my laundry instead.

"Just because LA beat a depleted..."

preceded by...

"...they met the minimum standards so while that is important it most certainly isn't noteworthy."

Moving on...

"they were just loaded with talent"

They are loaded with talent. Just not the type that you can rely on to win an NBA championship.

2004 Pistons >>>> 2009 Nuggets

Blogger turd ferguson said...
taking the way back machine to april huh?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dwight probably should have stayed in school (and I don't mean bible school). About the all-defensive team selection he said: "It’s humbling. It’s all about pride."

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"It's like his puppy died in a tragic low post accident and Dirk never got over it" hehehe that was priceless matey!
greenjelly-in-london

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Cortez-

You DIDN'T say that head fakes are soft? Well let's see exactly what you DID say:

1)"There is a reason I put the word soft in quotes."

-OK... Let's hear it

2)"Assume we can agree that there are two general types of post players, one being finesse and the other being power."

-I contend that playing in the post takes a measure of both, but OK I'll play along... so why did you put soft in quotes?

3)"Head fakes and up and unders in my experience are primarily associated with finesse players."

-Huh? Shaq uses head fakes too. But OK, I'm still waiting for you to explain why you called head fakes and up-and-unders "soft". Hopefully we get there in a second.

4)"Finesse post players tend to avoid or dislike contact, for whatever reason."

-So does that mean that Finesse players are "soft"? Oh, I guess you don't spell that out, but it's implied... I think, but let's read more!

5)"Dirk most certainly isn't a power player by any strech of the imagination in anyone's estimation. So, despite Dirk's and-1 play I, and plenty of others, say he is "soft" [finesse not afraid]."

-So you say that Dirk is "soft" because he is a "finesse player"

"That's not a knock on him, not from me anyway. He is what he is."

-Wait, so on one side of your mouth you're saying he's "soft", and out of the other side of your mouth you're saying "that's not a knock". So when you call Tracy McGrady "soft as cottonballs and whipped butter" or whatever, is that a knock or not?

And you still didn't really explain why you put the word in quotes. All you did was restate your previous assertion, and claim it to mean something different this time around.

Ahem.

Anyway:

Head Fake/ Up/Under = Finesse (per Cortez (3))
Finesse = Dirk (per Cortez (5))
Dirk = Soft (Per Cortez (5))

The transitive property shows that, per Cortez, head fakes and up/under moves are "finesse moves", Dirk is a finesse post player, and Dirk is soft. Therefore any reader would logically conclude that per Cortez, finesse moves such as the aforementioned head fake, is soft.

QED

I can live with your opinion that Denver isn't as good as the 04 Pistions, and right now, all I have to support that is my opinion as well. It's something I like to think. You can think whatever you want as well. I grant you permission to do so.

XD

Blogger Cortez said...
"And you still didn't really explain why you put the word in quotes"

The same reason anyone puts words in quotes...to imply a different meaning than the standard definition.

You are hung up on the typical meaning of calling someone soft even though I clearly stated I was using the word soft to indicate finesse (which isn't inherently bad).

Why are you doing that? Who knows?

"Wait, so on one side of your mouth you're saying he's "soft", and out of the other side of your mouth you're saying "that's not a knock"."

That's right chief. Like I said already, there is nothing inherently wrong with being a finesse player.

Let's see..

"However, Dirk's game + the personnel surrounding him [primarily finesse players also] = an ass whomping in the playoffs every time."
~Cortez

...meaning with the right mix of players around him they can win.

Also this "soft" label didn't originate from me. An entire host of professional NBA people and analysts seem to agree.

"So when you call Tracy McGrady "soft as cottonballs and whipped butter" or whatever, is that a knock or not?"

It's a knock. You see the missing quotes? Soft as in mentally unable to produce and unable to use his skills (finesse or not) to produce a win in the clutch.

McGrady = Soft bitch

Dirk = Soft (7'0") finesse player giving you everything he's got, which just happens to consist primarily of finesse move and jumpshots.

Take some of that information from that Logic 101 class that you took and learn how to apply it correctly.

You seem to only comprehend every third sentence and respond to every fifth one.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Actually,

I looked at every sentence, and replied to each one individually (even numbering them for reference), then summed up the argument, logically concluding that you think Head-Fakes are soft.

And it wasn't "logic 101", it was "Introduction to Algrebra" from the 7th grade. You are implying that it takes a college level course to point out that if A=B and B=C, then A=C.

"You seem to only comprehend every third sentence and respond to every fifth one."

-That's... exactly what you just did. Three fingers pointing back at you.

Sigh.

Good times. I agree with you, however, on most points, except that a Head Fake is soft- which you said, but didn't mean apparently. McGrady is a soft bitch.

Blogger Cortez said...
"I looked at every sentence, and replied to each one individually"

So I wrote 5 sentences, huh?

(checks long ass posts)

I didn't think so.

"...except that a Head Fake is soft- which you said"

Then I went on to explain (explicitly and implictly) the difference in my use of the terminology [soft] which you keep ignoring.

Finesse players play a "soft" game (there goes those quotes again).
Dirk is primarily a finesse player.
Therefore Dirk is "soft" (there are those damn quotes again!)

Your original problem was that you took offense to people calling Dirk soft (which he is!). Remember?

I went on to explain that I wasn't necessarily knocking him as a player, I was simply describing his finesse style game. Then I went on to explain you can win with a finesse player as long as you have some tough guys around him.

"You are implying that it takes a college level course to point out that if A=B and B=C, then A=C."

Proper descriptions of A, B, or C in the first place. Nor did you recognize the conversation actually went from A to F. Those extra steps where kind of important.

You know what? You win.

Dirk is tough as nails and at his current rate he'll be a beast on the block by 2017.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
I win!

YES!!! (/Tiger Woods fist-pump)

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