I agree with Bawful. The NBA is full of wusses. Here's how the fight would have gone down in 1991. The following photos are 100% accurate and scientifically proven, just like the definition of "dirty".


ROUND 1
FIGHT!

Ryu Ariza uses a Shoryuken on Vega Fernandez, which warrantsa flagrant 2, or at least accusations of being a cheap n00b.
After the battle comes the gloriously awkward taunting statements:

DVD Bonus: It was between this and Zangheif's"Next time we meet, I'm gonna break your arms!"
A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!

BLANKA ROY MUST ESTABLISH DOMINANCE!
You all can now take "dead horse thoroughly beaten" off your checklist of things to do today. And no, I am not implying the Lakers are invincible because I chose Ryu to be Ariza.

Kobe Bryant: He forced Trevor Ariza to cosplay as Ryu. And Adam Morrison as Ken. And Luke as Chun-li. Then sent them to a yaoi fangirl's house (Luke was sent back and had to walk home in costume). And then he ate a kitten.

About the author: AnacondaHL is a grizzled Internet veteran who watches in despair as his favorite team, the Phoenix Suns, drop their chances lower and lower to make the '09 playoffs. When not wasting time at his Clark Kent job to read BasketBawful, he can be found playing the Internet computer game du jour, googling tutorials on how to use GIMP, wondering why the Diamonbacks have seven team colors, and browsing other obscure things on the Internet. He hopes someday to learn four languages, discover the Higgs boson (Go America! Tevatron, represent!), name the largest number in the world after himself, have an intelligent conversation about anime with someone, and to eat a crab grown in Akron.

Labels: everyone shut up already, fan submissions, Rudy Fernandez, Street Fighter, Trevor Ariza