Kapono jumper

Note: This letter is a response to Ray Allen's love letter to his long lost jump shot, as dictated to Basketbawful reader Justin.

Dear Ray,

I'm sorry I have to break it to you this way, but really, I think it's best to be honest after all we've been through.

I'm leaving you.

Actually, I left you. For Jason Kapono. Before you say anything, yeah, I know. He'll never be the player you were, he'll never be able to carry a team, he'll never really be able to actually dribble, but man! Have you seen his hair? The moment I did, I was infatuated. Every morning I'd wake up with you, ol' balding Ray-Ray, a little past his prime and I'd fantasize, Ray, I really would. I know I should have said something before I left but I didn't want to hurt you. I hope we can remain the best of friends. I'll invite you to the wedding.

Sincerely,

Kapono's Jump Shot

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7 Comments:
Anonymous Nick F. (Buck Nasty) said...
that was THE best reader submission (word wise) since ever. Okay, maybe an exaggeration

Blogger Brad said...
Okay, I can't handle it any longer, you are a Chicago guy. A guy living in the windy city (Yeah, I am not from there so scoff at me for using this word to describe your city) and you haven't commented on the lottery and who you think they will pick. I mean I have to know what my man at Basketbawful is thinking? If they draft either Rose or Beasley will any of them inspire you to go to more games? How does that first round pick influence the coach you could get? Are you gunning for Thibodue and hoping to be a defensive juggernaught or do you want your old Utah Jazz pall horney cumming to your team?

Let us all know your thoughts please.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
brad -- Sorry, man. I know I celebrated the Bulls' lottery win in a WotN, but no, I didn't way what I thought they should do with the #1 pick.

To me, it's a no-brainer. I know Rose is the hometown product and all, but c'mon now...the Bulls have needed a scoring big man since they foolishly traded Elton Brand away for what ended up being (eventually) P.J. Brown's expiring contract (which I gues was fine, since Chandler wasn't the answer). I mean, every year we hear the same thing: All the Bulls are missing is a scoring big man.

So they need to take Beasley, no question. They gave up Elton Brand and then they went for potential (Ty Thomas) over a known commodity (LaMarcus Aldridge). Paxson can't afford to muck this up. I mean, the Bulls already have, what, 6 or 7 guards. Two of which - Hinrich and Hughes - are untradable because of their contracts.

So if Paxson goes for Rose, he will be dead to me.

As for the coach, dude, I am perplexed. I don't know what to do with this team. I really wanted D'Antoni becuse the Bulls were already solid on defense but plodding and predictable on offense. There aren't a lot of great candidates left out there. I don't want Horny's inexperience, sorry. I'm happy for my Celtics and all, but I don't want Thibodue coming to town because I've already lived through the Scott Skiles era of 85-79 "thrillers."

So Beasley for the pick, and I don't freakin' know for the coach. I just hope whomever it is, they install an up-tempo offense. Because I'd rather see the Bulls score 110 PPG and lose than watch them score 92 PPG and lose.

Anonymous Shrugz said...
I say Beasley too
but I have this feeling that they might go for Rose and trade hinrich(his trade value couldn't be lower now, maybe lower than TJ Ford too YIKES)

they just need a consistent low post scorer really someone 10-15 ppg grabs about 10 RBDs

they have great wing player in Deng
Gordon has to go unless he accepts he's not REALLY a pg and never will be. and will always be coming off the bench as a 6th man

so you can probably package Hinrich and Gordon(sign and trade) for someone

but if they pick Beasley
they don't really have to do much except signing free agents. and they might get away with letting either Gordon or Deng go somewhere else. I prefer letting go gordon of course.
Roster might end up like
Hinrich, Deng, Beasley, Jokeman Noah, Nocioni.

or

Rose, Deng, Gooden, Jokeman Noah, Nocioni. or whoever they trade for a PF

Anonymous ticktock6 said...
5/22/08

Dear Ray Ray,

Can you ever forgive me? We belong together.

Love,

Your Jump Shot

Anonymous justin said...
My balls are swelling with pride. May all your dreams be filled with Marios and Trillions.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
i'm starting to think Ray's jumper fling with Kapono had to do with his son's illness. his mind was obviously not on basketball at that time. if that's true, i have even more respect for him

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