Big deal
The one on the right is Kobe. Trust
me, it makes sense. Sort of.

I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

What am I talking about, you ask? Well, starting today -- and lasting until they pry it from my cold, dead hands -- I will be writing the NBA Closer column for Deadspin. (No, seriously, here's my first column.)

This isn't going to be easy, since I'm following in the footsteps of J.E. Skeets from The Basketball Jones, and that crazy bastard moonwalks everywhere. And it'll mean less time flying around Chicago and protecting the city in my nuclear-powered robot suit, but this is about something much bigger than fighting crime. It's about me.

But never fear. I will continue to provide the same low-grade fart jokes and penis humor to which you are accustomed. And just to alleviate any fears that my work here may start to suffer under the increased workload, I promise to start hating Kobe three percent more than ever. That's a money back guarantee, folks.

Now go over to Deadspin. Read my stuff. Comment on it. Praise it. Then buy a bunch of cool stuff and send it to me.

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9 Comments:
Blogger starang said...
Well well well. Look who's movin up the food chain. You do have an awesome blog, but I think the real momentum swing for you is directly related to me being a part or basketbawful posts.

So to further your success, I went to, read, and almost posted a one-liner that, having almost been digested by all the computers out there, would have almost caused the The Internets to almost implode on each other...almost.

BUT then....I realized that I would have had to "sign in" or "register"....tell Big Brother where I live and how to ruin me, and give my left leg and right arm...so I decided to save my well thought out, extremely relevant, unchildish, and well spelled posts for THIS BLOG ONLY...and keep my ability to shoot a right-handed layup.

Now I'll be keeping my eye on you Basketbawful, and I expect this move to not affect my favorite basketball blog

Anonymous Chris said...
I read quite a few blogs daily - TrueHoop, Wizznutzz (when they do actually update), a few other team related blogs (the Mavericks desperately need somebody decent and with a sense of humor to write about them, the ones that are out there are worse than Larry Hughes' jump shot), but Basketbawful is leagues above the rest in terms of pure reading enjoyment. Congrats on the new gig, and from what it seems like so far your stuff over there is just as solid as it is here.

Anonymous Shrugz said...
NOOOOOOOOOoo don't leave us

anyways I was gonna post something at your new place but I had to log in and as u can tell that's just too much work for me HAHAHA

Blogger Basketbawful said...
starang -- I knew it! I knew you were Bat Boy!!

chris -- Dude, seriously, thanks for the kind words.

shrugz -- Don't worry. You won't get rid of me that easily. Yeah, not sure why Deadspin takes the Big Brother approach.

Anonymous Wormboy said...
Yeah, watch him hit the big leagues and forget his roots....

Just kidding. Congrats on "movin' on up" (cue Jefferson's theme). You deserve it. Make sure to mix some more positive in there. Higher profile probably won't like as much negativity as you've got here. *I* like it, but then I'm an ass. :)

Anonymous RainbowBright said...
Hell Yeah! Congrats on the gig, dude. This is pretty much my fav. blog on the vast space known as teh_Intarwebz, and I'll make a toast for you, for taking steps for world domination.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Good luck!

And a quick question: is it just me, or does Marko jaric look like Danny Bonaduce? And is it just me or does that make sense?



-Sean D.

Anonymous farfa said...
Congrats bawful!
but...
Please, don't leave me this waaaay

Blogger The Pocket Brat said...
Interestingly enough, I found your blog because of Deadspin... Right after I found that skeleton street rider crashing his jewels into a lamp post...
But I like it.
Much like I like it in the ass.

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