You read that correctly, my friends. Our old mascot, Gregory Donovan Ostertag, is considering making a comeback. To the NBA.

"I'm still young enough to play. Last year was the first time in 24 years I haven't played. It was fun, but I think I can still do it. I might give it a shot this year. I'll tell my agent to put my name out there and see what happens."

I'm guessing "what happens" will be a lot of laughing, followed by a recitation of his career stats (4.6 PPG, 5.5 RPG, 1.7 BPG), followed by a lot more laughing. 'Tag's comments came after he participated in a 45-minute scrimmage with Kansas University's current varsity players and former Jayhawk Michael Lee. Greg's line: 4 points on 1-for-6 shooting and 9 rebounds. Now normally, you'd assume that the team with the former NBA player would win hands down. But not when that former player is Greg Ostertag: His team lost by the score of 75-70.

KU's senior power forward Darnell Jackson, who viciously dunked on Ostertag and even stuffed one of the big guy's shots, actually claimed to be "impressed." Why, you ask? Well, according to Jackson, "Greg Ostertag takes up a lot of space!" Well, yeah. So does Rosie O'Donnell, but I can't see anybody signing her to an NBA contract. (Okay, maybe Isiah Thomas, or Kevin McHale, but, like, nobody else.)

So where does Greg go from here? "First I have to get my fat butt in shape. I've got some weight to lose. Then I may have to go in and work out for somebody (NBA team). I don't know how it works. I've never been in this situation before."

Hey, you know, I think the Lakers are looking for a quality big man with playoff experience. Ostertag has been the the NBA Finals twice. Don't worry, Kobe, help is one the way!

Fun Greg Ostertag Fact: Larry Bird earned $26,495,000 in salary during his 13-year NBA career. Ostertag earned $48,251,390 in 11 seasons. As always, I'm just sayin'.

Tag auto
Greg gives away his shoe to some lucky...
wait a sec, is that Stifler's Mom with him??

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3 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I hope Montross is next. I guess that why Wilt thought he could comebakc at age 50 and still play.

Anonymous Jaz said...
Ostertag must be stopped, if only because his appalling ugliness is an affront to viewers.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I seen naked pics of greg ostertag at www.pophilarity.com

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