Shane Battier is now the official spokesperson for the Chinese sportswear company PEAK. This may surprise you, but Battier wasn't their first choice. Apparently, PEAK "considered other NBA stars like Dirk Nowitzki, Andrew Bogut, Tony Parker and Vasillis Spanoulis, before finally deciding to sign up Battier."Now, Dirk Nowitzki and maybe even Tony Parker I could understand. But Bogut and what-his-name? I guess this kind of tells you how well PEAK understands the world of basketball (which explains their earlier-in-the-summer signing of shoe giant Damon Jones). I mean, I don't even know who this "Vassillis Spanoulis" plays for. In fact, it sounds more like a sexually transmitted disease than an actual name. I'd get my intern to do a fact check, but my "intern" is a pet turtle named Addy who can't actually do research, or type, and I'm not totally sure she's still alive. Anyway, it can't make Shane feel good to know he's getting Spanoulis' table scraps. But I'm sure the money will make him feel better.By the way, Battier will be wearing PEAK "sneakers" in "every NBA game this season." So it'll be a two-man race between Battier and Stephon Marbury to determine who falls victim to the first "crappy athletic shoe"-related sports injury. My money's on Shane.Battier: "Domo arigato, Mr. PEAK managing whatever guy."PEAK President: "I'm not Japanese. And you're no Dirk Nowitzki."