The latest chapter in the story of our favorite journyman-who-thinks-he's-an-all-star is probably the saddest to date: Juwan Howard walked out of a Miami-area optical store with a pair of sunglasses. A $2,000 pair of sunglasses.Howard, playing out the tail-end of a $37 million contract denies any wrongdoing, of course. In a carefully scripted statement, Howard said, "I'm aware of the situation and have spoken to my attorney. I will vigorously defend myself and am confident I'll be cleared of these baseless charges."Uh huh.The store owner claims to have a surveillance tape showing Howard take a pair of sunglasses. Apparently, Howard assumed he'd already used the power of his mind to stop time or destroy any cameras. Who knows if it's true, but if it is, it'll go down as the second saddest example of celebrity shoplifting ever.The future's so bright, he's gotta wear shades.Huge, honking, gigantic shades.