We already know how Kobe feels about sex with teammates1.
games mysteriously lasted a full day (18 hours instead of 48 minutes), and NBA players were magically immune from injury or fatigue (instead of just Allen Iverson
), Kobe would average almost exactly 666
shots per game.2.
Every turnover Kobe commits causes the value of the Yen
to drop approximately .0001%3.
In a nutshell, The whole story about him being named after a Tokyo
beefsteak is urban legend. It's much much more insidious than that. Kobe's name spelled backwords is Tnayrb Ebok, an anagram sounding a bit like "To Nay Reebok
(a branch of Reebok) is the company Kobe intentionally dragged through the mud with the whole "Colorado
ain't just for skiing anymore" deal...which was, of course, a big misunderstanding. Then the genetic engineers at Nike
welcomed their cleverly-named monstrosity with loving arms.4.
Contrary to popular belief, every time Kobe looks smug or cocky on camera, God
kill a kitten. That's just crazy.